Deceit, Regret, Confession
by Kaleah kaleah
Summary: This FanFiction was a Collaboration between myself and Clarallan. We have had an amazing time putting this story together and bringing how we think season 4 should have gone. Thanks for working with me on this. Clarallen, your a great friend in deed
1. A Second Chance

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

This Fanfiction was a collaboration between myself and Kaleah. We have had a wonderful time putting this story together, we hope everyone enjoys. Thank you Kaleah for working with me on this it has been great. Your a great friend.

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

****Chapter 1** **

**A Second Chance**

Love me Tender

The sun was shining brightly through the half opened blinds in Tom's office when he was awaken in a dry sweat. It seemed he dreamed about her anytime he closed his eyes. This dream was about the first time they gave themselves to one another. She felt so amazing close to him, how he wished things had gone differently and he was waking up next to her. Seeing her smile in the morning always brightened his day. As he got up and sat at the edge of the couch, he had been sleeping on in his office, since he found out about her affair, he saw the divorce papers. Why was he so stupid to think she wouldn't sign them, now he wished he had not given them to her. She would want to let him go because she didn't want to hurt him anymore. As much as it hurt knowing she slept with Nick, it hurt even more knowing he would never have a chance to make things work with her. As he got up and he picked up the divorce papers, his heart was telling him to talk with her and tell her how he felt no matter what the outcome was. He knew they had to come to some peace with each other if they were going to work together, and especially since they had both taken positions that would have them working closely together. Tom put the divorce papers down and went to his bathroom to freshen up and was going to head for her office, if nothing else to offer his congratulations on her new job. Tom stepped out of the bathroom, picked up the divorce papers and placed them in the inner pocket of his sports jacket.

Christina was getting herself settled into her new office. Camille had helped her pack _a _couple of boxes that she would need. At the bottom of the last box she pulled out a photograph of her and Tom's wedding day. She slightly smiled and under her breath said, "Camille", as the memories of the day flooded her mind. She was quickly brought back to reality when she heard a knock at her office door. "Come in." She called out. As she looked up surprised at seeing Tom standing there, he glanced down at here hand and noticed the picture of them at the same time she looked down. Christina quickly placed it back in the box. Tom smiled and walked across the room, he stood directly in front of her, he reached behind her and picked it up. She looked up at him, "what are you doing with that"? Christina asked with confusion in her voice. Not knowing what he was about to do. "Placing it were it belongs", Tom said with a sly smile, as he reached over to the file cabinet on the right of her desk, placing their wedding picture on top of it in full view of anyone who came through the door. Tom was afraid Christina would object, but to his surprise when he turned back to look at her she was smiling at him. "Are you sure you want that there?" she asked him as her heart filled with joy knowing that he wanted anyone and everyone that came into her office to see it. "If I didn't I wouldn't have put it there," he told her as he stared down into her hazel eyes. "So what brings you her Dr. Wakefield, other than putting up pictures in my office" "I just wanted to congratulate you on your promotion, and let you know if you need anything, I am here for you". "Thank you I really appreciate that". Christina said as she diverted her eyes back up at him, with that sassy smile he loved so much. "Umm…Christina there is something I wanted to say to you". Tom said as he stood in front of her with both hands in his pockets. "Okay". Christina replied, as she leaned against her desk, holding on to the edge of it wondering what he was about to say. "Christina I wanted you to know that no matter what you might believe, I loved you and always wanted to protect you. I will always regret not being there the night you were attacked. But you have to know it killed me hearing your screams and not being able to do anything, couldn't get to you fast enough. I did everything I could to save our baby and keep you safe once I got to you." With sadness in her eyes, Christina placed her hand on Tom's chest as she leaned her head into it. She knew he wasn't to blame for what happened to her, she felt so bad that she had ever accused him of that. "Tom I am sorry. Sweetie, I am so sorry for every implying that you were not there for me, Christina said behind tears. You did everything you could for me and to save our daughter. Tom I loved you, No! I love you, and I don't know how I am going to live knowing how I hurt you. I only signed the divorce papers because you deserve to be happy with someone that hasn't been unfaithful to you, you deserve someone who can bear your children." "Christina, don't you get it you're the one I want, I love you and can forgive the affair. I only gave you the papers because I was hurting and wanted you to feel half the pain I was feeling. I never expected you to actually sign them, I expected you to fight for us, like you fight for everything else."

"Tom it took everything in me not to fight for you, you will never understand how hard it was for me to sign them, knowing how much I hurt you, I don't know how you can forgive me. But I will spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you how much I do love you, I have spent sleepless nights praying that we could work things out."

As Christina and Tom continued their conversation, an unexpected guest came into her office. Nick had let himself in, as he saw the door partially open. Christina and Tom were so involved in their conversation that they didn't hear the door open completely. Nick did not step into their line of sight, he just stood in the foyer listening to the interaction between them. "Christina, do you want to give our marriage another chance?" "Tom, I so want to give us another try." Tom came closer to Christina pulling her into him, wrapping his arms around her waist as he smiled down at her. Christina moved her arms from his chest to around his neck as Tom leaned in kissing her passionately, than she ever thought was possible. When they parted their kiss, Christina stared into Tom's green eyes and whispered, "Tom please come home." In a seductive voice Tom says, "Is tonight to soon?" Christina gave him a devilish smile, leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. "Should I take that as a No?" Tom said with a little laugh, as he smiled down at her. Christina smiles back and says "You better." As Tom and Christina began to talk about putting their relationship back together, Nick was raging inside, and was thinking of interrupting their little reunion, but decided it was best not to. He was getting ready to leave, when he heard Tom say "what do I do with this?" as he reach inside his jacket and pulled out the divorce papers. They both smiled at each other as the shredder caught Tom's eye. Nick was more than furious with the passionate exchange of words and emotions he had just witnessed between Christina and Tom and stormed out the door, slamming it as he left. Christina and Tom looked at each other wondering what the slamming of the door was. They both walked to the door to see if anyone was there, "Must have been someone looking for another office", Christina said, as she looked out into the empty hallway. "Must have been. Sweetie, I have to get back to work, but I will be home as soon as I can." Hugging him one more time Christina said, "I can't wait to have you back in our house and in our bed. I know we have a lot to still work out but I know our love will carry us through." "I love you Christina," Tom said, as he kissed her gently on the cheek. He knew if he kissed her on the lips again he would never leave. "I love you too Tom." With that Tom was out the door and heading to his office. Christina turned back into her office, with a smile on her face, suddenly her eye caught their wedding picture sitting on the filling cabinet were Tom placed it. They would make it work, she knew they would. Their love was strong, and that was proven by the fact that Tom forgave her for the awful mistake she had made. She knew now she had to forgive herself and allow Tom to love her the way she knew she deserved to be loved. She had to let go of her past hurts and love herself and realize how unconditional Tom's love was for her. As Tom got back into his office, he saw their wedding picture and picked it up. He gently rubbed his finger over it saying, "I love you Christina, and I am never letting you go again." Tom smiled and reached down to see who was paging him, his OR room was ready.

Section 2

**Loves Harsh Realization**

No pain No gain.

Christina got home from work after what seemed like the longest day of her life. She didn't realize how much it would take out of her to go back to work and taking on even more responsibility than before, but at least she had the bright spot of knowing Tom was moving back in. As she walked through the door she tossed her keys onto the side table as she kicked off of her shoes dropping her purse and jacket to the floor. As she stood there for a second she knew Tom would be home in about an hour so she decided a shower would be a good idea. Christina knew that their night would be just about as long as their day had been, she was more then sure that they were going to sit down and talk about how they were going to start rebuilding their marriage. As she walked out of their bedroom, after taking her shower, she heard the doorbell ring. She knew Camille was staying at psycho Suzanne's house, so the only other person it could be was Tom. He must have bags in his hands and couldn't reach the deadbolt, Christina thought to herself as she headed for the door. "I'm coming Tom." She called out as she opened it with a huge smile on her face, and her hand stretched out to help him with his things. As she stood there with a shocked look on her face she was taken aback when she saw Nick standing there with a crazed look on his face and his gun by his side. "I guess I wasn't the Man you were expecting." Nick said with a cockiness in his voice that shook Christina to her core.

"Hey Nick, what are you doing here?" Christina asked in a slow tone as she greeted him and took a step back, she was scared out of her mind as he stood there with an unpredictable look in his eyes, she was starting to worry and was wishing that Tom was home but in the same token she was happy that he wasn't, she didn't want them getting in to a confrontation with each other, she knew the outcome would be bad for Tom, Nick was still a cop. Nick interrupted her thoughts. "Can I come in?" He asked not giving Christina an option as he pushed his way through the door before she could even realize what was happening. He had walked her over to the dining room, "sit down." he told her as he took a seat across from her, placing his gun on the table. Scared to death at the demented look on Nick's face and the gun sitting in front of him, Christina sat down with as much calmness as she could muster. She knew the only way to get out of this without either one of them getting hurt, was for her to stay calm and caress his ego. Christina thought she was acting cool and collected but the expression on her face must have been giving her away. "Christina are you scared of me?" Nick asked. Christina was surprised by his question, and before she had time to think she glanced down at his hand on the gun and then back up at him she noticed the devilish grin that had spread across his face. He was taking pleasure in the fact that she was terrified of him. Christina sat there for a moment she knew that no matter how she answered him it could send him into a rage and he might hurt her. "Why, would I be scared of you Nick, you would never hurt me right?" at this point Christina's heart was pounding. "Your right I would never hurt you, and especially not how you hurt me. How could you leave me when you know that I was there for you, and even gave you proof of what I did for you". "I never asked you to kill for me Nick, I just wanted the attacker caught and brought to justice." Christina said as she sat there wishing that he would just leave. "Justice! Now that's funny, I know you were attracted to the fact that I was able to capture the person that hurt you when your husband couldn't even be there when you needed him the most. " "Tom did everything he could for me and our baby, and if it wasn't for him being on the phone with me, there would have been no telling how long it would have taken for someone to find me. I could have died from bleeding out. " Nick sat there listing to her defend him as his rage started to build. How could she think Tom was there for her, he couldn't even save their baby. "I brought your attacker to justice by removing him from the picture completely; Tom could or would never do that." As he Raised his voice it was full of anger that was evident. "Christina don't you see Tom didn't love you enough to take you home, but I love you, I am there for you at every corner and It was me that protected you not him." "Nick I'm sorry for leading you on, you were my escape when I didn't want to face my reality, it was never my intention to hurt you, but I did and for that I'm truly sorry and I hope one day you can forgive me. But the truth is I'm in love with my husband, and always have been, I need to do all I can to make up to him for my mistake. " "Mistake! So I was just a mistake, is that what I was to you?" Nick got up and picked up his gun and was swinging it around, Christina was just as frightened now as she was the day of her attack. "Nick, I think it is time for you to leave. I don't think there is anything left for us to say, I said everything in that letter." "Yes, Christina your letter, why is it that you weren't able to tell me even in your letter that you loved me." "Nick, I care about you, but I have never been in love with you I'm sorry. I loved you because you were there when I felt I had no one else and I will always be grateful to you for that, but I crossed a line and I have so many people to make that mistake up too, including you. The only way I can do that is keeping my distance from you and allowing you to go on with your life, to love someone who is worthy of you. " Nick grabbed Christina by the arm, pulling her from her seat she didn't want to make any sudden moves because the gun was still in his other hand, she was just hoping she could get him to the door without incident. "Christina, I love you, and everything I did, I did for that love I have for you. It has been all about you, since the day I met you." he stood there pointing the gun toward his heart. "Nick, please! I think its time for you to go. Again I'm sorry, but I need to take care of me now." Nick chuckled "you're going to take care of you? I guess that means getting back together with Tom?" She looked at him with confusion, how did he know. They hadn't told anyone they were getting back together.

"Yes, Christina I know about your reconciliation with Tom". Nick looked at her with a sly smile. She had seen that same sly smile the day of his mother's funeral when the service was interrupted by the large stranger. She stood there motionless staring at him that look gave her chills all over her body. "Nick?" Christina said calmly, "how do you know that"? "It's what I do Christina." At that moment she realized he must have been in her office, when her and Tom were talking. This really frightened her that he would spy on her like that; suddenly all his actions were starting to make sense and the urgency to get him out of her house was becoming even more imperative. "Nick, if you have ever loved me, cared anything about me please! I'm asking you to leave now". "Or what Christina, you'll call your husband with his gun to scare me." he stood in front of her with a cold and calculating look in his eyes as he gave Christina a deceitful chuckle. "Nick, please leave, I don't want to call the police". "Christina, I am the police!" He yelled with such force that she jumped he pushed her against the table and kissed her forcefully. She pushed him away with all her force. "Nick get out now!" she screamed "or I will call the cops." Nick gave her a mischievous smile and backed away from her and headed for the door. When he reached it, he turned around and looked at her. "Christina this isn't over, you let me in, and I told you before, I'm not going anywhere." She knew he meant it when he said; he wasn't going anywhere, she felt as vulnerable now; as she did the day she was attacked. Christina stood there wondering how was she going to get away from him when she heard the front door open. Christina slowly turned her head and peeked around the beam, she walked back into the living room when she saw Nick close the door. She quickly went and locked it behind him. She leaned against it, slowly sliding down the length of the door and curling up in the fetal position on the floor, sobbing like a baby. What had she done, what kind of monster had she brought into her life, their lives. All she wanted now was to hold Tom and feel the safety and warmth of his arms.

Christina was startled when she heard the gunshot, she quickly picked herself up and looked through the curtain to see a car speed away and Nick leaning over the steering wheel. She quickly unlocked and opened it she screamed and ran out of the house she ran to Nicks car pulling him to the road she grabbed him and placed him against her, checking his pulse he was still breathing but it was labored she put pressure on the wound trying to stop the bleeding. She didn't know where the voice came from but all of a sudden her neighbor was standing next to her. "Christina, I called 911." "Thank you." she told him as she told Nick not to die on her that was the last thing she needed was for him to die in her arms. In the distance Christina could hear the police sirens and ambulance coming closer but it was to late Nick had taken his last breath.

**Second Man Down**

Truth or Dare

Tom was so excited about returning home. He was getting off the ramp of I-95 heading north toward the house. At the corner of Hillsborough and Columbus he could hear sirens coming past him, what he didn't realize was the ambulance was heading to his house. He stopped at the four stop sign to allow the paramedics to go through. As they past his car, Tom went to cross and out of no where came a Mercedes SUV that obviously didn't see the stop sign. The last thing Tom saw was the lights of the car crashing into him. The SUV hit Tom on his passenger side, spinning him around and knocking him into a light pole. The car behind Tom hit the breaks coming to a screeching halt to avoid running into the back of him, the man behind Tom got out called 911 and went over to see how bad Tom was hurt when he looked up to see the car that hit Tom didn't even bother to stop. The dispatcher called out to all units, Male, white Volvo SUV, hit and run, Hillsborough and Columbus. As the paramedics, were covering up Nicks dead body and talking with the Coroner, Christina stood there shaking her head wondering what Nick was thinking when she overhead the dispatcher description of a hit and run and its location, which she knew would be the route Tom would be taking to come home her heart started beating fast fear and panic took over Christina, the fact that the dispatcher said it was a male, she was getting a horrible feeling it was Tom.

She ran in the house and grabbed her keys she decided to follow the paramedics that had now taken off. Leaving the coroner with Nicks body. Christina made sure she had enough distance between her and the paramedics, so she wouldn't get into trouble, since she was just going on speculation.

When the paramedics arrived at the scene of the crash Christina stayed at the corner and when she looked over at the car and saw Tom inside her suspicions were confirmed. She ran to the car, being stopped by a paramedic. "Aren't you the lady from our shooting scene, a few blocks back", the paramedic asked with a surprise look on his face. "Yes, I am but that's my husband, I need to get to him", she said desperate to get to Tom. "Ma'am we're going to have to ask you to stand back we need to get him out of the car, and we don't know how bad the injuries are". Paramedic Johnson said holding her back. She stood by the paramedic's truck, as they worked on Tom. "God please don't let me lose him, I need him around to make up for all the hurt I caused him", she pleaded in between sobs, she couldn't believe this was happening.

He hit his head on the windshield; Christina heard the paramedic say. "There doesn't seem to be any internal injuries or broken bones, but he's unconscious." The paramedic told the other before going over to Christina, to tell her that they were taking Tom to the hospital, that he was unconscious, but his vitals were stable. "Please take him James River, I'm COO their and he's head of surgery. We'll do that Ma'am. Christina ran back to her car and followed behind the paramedics. Praying the whole way he would be fine. How did she allow her life to get so messed up? She knew how much Tom loved her, why couldn't she just have accepted it sooner, instead of making so many mistakes with Nick. Why couldn't she have opened up to Tom about how she was feeling with the attack, and the lose of their daughter. No one had ever loved her the way that he did and she was unsure how to cope with it. She needed to drop the walls that she had build up and completely let him in, even to those dark places of her life she didn't think she could revisit but she wanted him to know about.

As the paramedics wheeled Tom in, Steve met them at the door. "What do we have?" he asked as he slipped on a pair of gloves. "Male 40s hit and run unconscious at the scene (BP) 100/65, (HR) 110, and (RR) 12 NKDA no apparent broken bones or internal bleeding. Wife should be coming in right behind me. Steve looked at the patient and realizing that it was Tom, "Oh, Mate what happened. Trauma room 1". Before Steve could turn around and follow the gurney, he heard his name. "Steve", Christina came running in to the ER. "Christina, I'm about to go in and check on him, he seems stable but I have to run some test". He noticed Christina following behind him, "You stay here', Steve said firmly but caring. Christina leaned against the nurse's station desk, as Kelly came around to comfort her. Kelly had just been headed out the door when she heard the commotion and came to see what was happening. "I'll stay with you Christina; he'll be fine you'll see". Kelly took Christina to a chair in the nurse's station so she could sit. "Kelly I have made so many mistakes in the last several weeks, and losing him now, would be the end of me ". Christina said sobbing again. "Christina, Tom is strong you'll see he'll pull throw, and you guys will work it out", Kelly leaned over and hugged Christina, just letting her cry.

After what seemed like a life time of waiting Steve finally walked out of the trauma room he took a deep breath and looked over at Christina he walked over and she stood to her feet, "Steve, how is he?" Christina the good news is he's stable the X-rays show no broken bones his CT, MRI and ultrasound show no internal injuries, or bleeding, there's no sings of bleeding or swelling on the brain but he's still unconscious, we're sending him up to ICU now. Steve put a hand on Christina's arm, as they both saw the orderlies wheeling Tom out of the room. Christina gave Steve a smile, "Thank you Steve." As Christina started to walk away from him and towards the elevator that was taking Tom up to the ICU. Steve called out to her, "Christina," she turned to the sound of her name, "He's going to be fine, he's strong, and wants to come back to you. He wants to fight for you". She smiled again and continued towards the gurney. Once Tom was set up in his room the nurse told Christina that she could go and be with him.

As Christina entered the room slowly, she stood next to Tom; it was unbelievable how handsome he was even in the critical condition he was in. She remembered the day she first saw him in the ER, how sexy she thought he was, sometime she would find herself staring at him, and she would have to remind herself that she was married. This brought a slight smile to her face. She brushed his hair back a little and gave him a soft kiss on his forehead. "I believe you can hear me Tom, please know I love you, and I am sorry for all the damage I have caused in our lives and the hurt I have put you through. I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you. You have to make it through this, because I need you more than you will ever know, and so does Camille. You are my rock and I can't be myself with out you Tom." She bent over and kissed him on the forehead again. When she went to sit down she realized that she hadn't called Camille. She pulled out her cell and hit the speed dial, but Camille phone went straight to voice mail, Christina decided to leave her a message, "Camille, its mom, I need you to call me as soon as you get this." She didn't go into details to what happened because she didn't want her to worry, and she gets into an accident trying to get to the hospital. Within a few minutes Camille had called her back and Christina explained to her what happened and Tom's condition. Camille told her, she would be there soon and she would drive safe. She knows that that was going to be the next thing her mother said.

Tom's condition hadn't changed he had fell into coma two days after he was admitted and it had been over a week. Christina was starting to get worried. She was wondering if maybe Tom didn't want to come back to her after everything she had put him through. She sat by his side day and night she would have long talks with him all the time, and on this particular day she decided let him know that if he didn't want to come back because of her, she would understand, but he needed to come back for himself. She wanted him to live a happy and fulfilled life even if it meant living without her. As Christina kissed him on the forehead, she heard a soft whisper, "Why would I want to live without your the love of my life." Tears started to fill Christina's eyes, "I have fought to hard to keep you to leave now." Christina smiled as tears fell from her eyes to his cheeks, "Oh, thank God! Tom, I thought you didn't wont to come back because you didn't want to be with me." she told him as tears continue to fall, In a weak voice Tom whispered, "I love you Christina, and know that I heard everything you said to me, I was fighting to come back to you." Christina gently kissed Tom on the lips and told him to rest as she signaled for his nurse. "He's awake." She told her as she entered the room. "Welcome back Dr. Wakefield." the nurse smiled as she checked his vitals, he was talking and fully conscious the prognosis was looking good. "Ms Hawthorne we'll probably put your husband in another room by tomorrow, the doctor should be into see him tonight. Christina turned away from Tom for a second and thanked the nurse. "Sweetie I need to call Camille." She pulled out her phone and hit the speed dial, "Camille Tom's…" was all Christina could get out before she heard Camille scream he's awake I'm on my way.

Tom was kept at the hospital for a few more days to monitor his vitals. They did another CT and MRI scan just to make sure they didn't miss any bleeding or swelling that my have occurred while he was unconscious. He recovered very quickly and was begging Dr. Jones to allow him to go home. "No worse patient than a doctor," Dr. Jones said, as he signed the release papers.

As Christina drove up the driveway of the house she realized she hadn't told Tom, about what happened to Nick. She figured she would wait for the right time to tell him, and tonight.

To be continued...


	2. Welcome Home Daddy!

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

****Chapter 2****

**Welcome Home Daddy!**

I will always be a daddy's girl.

As Tom walked through the door, he saw the banner in the dinning room that read "WELCOME HOME DAD" and Camille standing underneath it. She walked over to him and gave him a big hug and kiss. "Welcome Home, Dad", Camille said with cheerfulness and uncertainty in her voice. She loved him like a father and was praying he or her mom would not be object to her calling him that. Tom smiled, "Dad". "Yes, Tom I was hoping I could call you that if it is okay with you and mom. I have been given a second chance at a father, actually a third chance and I don't want to take any of it for granted. I love you Tom". Tom looked at Camille with a smile he could not contain, "I would be honored if you called me Dad, as long as your mom doesn't object". Christina gently placed her arm around Tom's waist and smiled up at him, "I think it is fine, as long as Camille is comfortable with it". Tom looked down at Christina and gently kissed her on the lips. Camille interrupted by saying, "Okay enough with the mushy stuff, can we please eat!" Tom looked over at the table and realized it was set for dinner. As Christina and Tom walked over to the dinning room table she said, "We ordered dinner from your favorite restaurant Millie's. We ordered your favorite meal steak, with Lobster Bisque soup and baguette". "Thank you ladies, I do enjoy my steak and lobster bisque", Tom said with a smile he could not contain. They enjoyed their dinner like a family. Christina suddenly got quite, "Is something wrong Christina", Tom asked with a bit of concern in his voice. She leaned over and put her hand on his forearm, "There is nothing wrong Tom, just enjoying my family. I hope you both know how much I love you". In **unison** Camille and Tom said, "we love you too".

Christina made sure that Tom was comfortable in bed and that he had all he needed for the night before she climbed in. It seemed like years that they had laid next to each other and she was so thankful to have him in her arms again. She placed her head on Tom's chest and gently stroked it with her hand. She looked up at him with tears in her hazel eyes. "Christina what's wrong?" Tom asked with concern. "Nothing really Tom, I am just so overwhelmed with joy to have you with me again, I feel it is a dream and I will wake up and you're gone". "Christina I am not a dream and I will be here when you wake up in the morning", Tom said as he leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips. Tom caressed Christina's face as their kiss went from gentle to exceedingly passionate. Her body tingled with his lips on hers and his gently caressing his way down her torso. He knew he shouldn't get to excited because he didn't want to over do it with that type of physical activity but she turned him on so much that he couldn't help but touch her body. Christina released herself from Tom and moved herself down his body, kissing every area she could touch. Every kiss she planted on him was gentle and ever so seductive, bringing goose bumps to his body and arousing him even more. "Oh God, Christina please stop if you know what is good for you I wont responsible for my actions". With a sly smile Christina looked up at Tom, "You lay back and let me take care of you, I promise you wont have to move at all. Remember I am a nurse, I know how to take care of my patients". They both laughed and Christina continued her kisses down Tom's body. She paused briefly and gave him a sultry smile as she continued down his stomach. By the time that Christina reached her destination Tom was ready for her arrival. Christina released her prize from its confinement and heard Tom give a small moan in delight. As she was getting ready to give him the pleasure she so had wanted to give for so long, he stopped her. "Christina, you don't have to do that.", he said, with both hope that she wont stop and wanting her to know that there was no pressure in going into a sexual relationship for him to be happy with her. "SSHH," Christina said as she gently took her prize and began to enjoy it. Tom moaned as she used her mouth and hands to give him pleasures he never thought a man could have, no woman had ever made him feel the way she did. Tom was very grateful at this point that Camille's room was on the other side of the house because Christina was driving him crazy and he knew he wasn't going to able to control the next moan. As he felt himself going past the point of no return he whispered, "Christina your amazing, I Love You". Not releasing him from her love grip she looked up at him with those hazel eyes and smiled. Tom couldn't take it anymore and finally gave her what she had been wanting, the complete prize. She gently released him and looked up at him, licked her lips and gave him a devilish smile. She crawled back up to lay next to him. "Welcome Home Tom, I love you" she said kissing him gently and laying her head back on his chest. He gently caressed her head, "I love you too Christina." Sleep finally overcame them and they both dosed off to the most peaceful sleep they had, had in a long time.

Section 2

**Month of Bliss and Healing **

Coming Full Circle.

Christina had taken amazing care of Tom in the last couple of weeks. The doctors said he was healing properly and had released him to go back to work. Christina was nervous about him going back, but he was going stir crazy in the house. During the time that Tom had been recovering him and Christina had many long talks about their relationship**, **where they went wrong and the best way to fix things. The only thing Christina could not bring herself to talk to him about was Nick's suicide.

Tom was sitting on the couch, it was the day before he had to go back to work. He was looking at a case file Dr. Jones wanted him to consult on the next day. Christina came into the living room from their bedroom, she knew she had avoided telling him about Nick's death long enough, and since he was going back to work tomorrow, she knew she had to tell him now. She didn't want someone at the hospital to tell him what happened. She was sure by know it was all over the hospital.

Christina walked over to Tom and sat next to him, placing her hand on his knee and taking the file from his hand. "Are you trying to tell me you want my attention", he said smiling at her. He suddenly saw that she wasn't smiling and her face was hard. "Christina what's wrong"? Tom there is something I have been trying to find the right time to tell you. With real concern in his voice, "Christina".

She looked at him unsure of how he was going to take this news. "Tom the night of your accident, Nick came by the house". Tom was going to ask what happened, but hesitated, and let Christina go on. "He came with a gun and he had been drinking. He placed the gun on the dining room table, I was scared and he knew it. He told me that we would always live in his heart, and pointed the gun at his chest. Before leaving he grabbed me and forcefully kissed me. I was finally able to get him out of the house. Tom I was so scared". As Christina told her story to Tom, tears were beginning to stream down her face. Tom sensed her story wasn't over so he only wiped away her tears but said nothing. "I locked the door behind him", Christina could barely get the rest of her sentence out between her sobs, "Tom I am so sorry that I brought that monster into our home, into our lives, I will always live with that regret", Christina hesitated to continue her story but Tom realized in her eyes there was more she was not telling him. "Christina what else happened"? he asked with concern in his voice. Christina took a deep breath and looked blankly into the air as she continued her story, "I was praying you would get home soon, when I heard a gun shot. I looked through the door window and saw Nick slumped over the steering wheel of his car. I went to his car, tried to save him, but he died in my arms", talking now just into the air and disconnected from any feelings she said, "I jeopardized our marriage and another person choose to take his life because of my selfish decisions. I don't deserve to be loved by anyone". At this point Christina was in tears and hanging her head down. Tom put his hand on her chin and forced her to look at him, "Christina you deserved to be loved, Nick was obsessed and that is not love. He wanted you to feel guilty for the rest of your life for not giving him what he wanted. He was not concerned about your feelings, just having control over you. I love you Christina and our marriage will be fine. I am so sorry, you had to go through that by yourself". He leaned in and kissed her, she curled up against his chest and just relaxed in his arms.

The sun shined brightly the next morning into their bedroom. Tom was dressed and ready to go to work before Christina had even finished her shower. From the bathroom door Tom yelled out to Christina. "I will meet you at Dr. Stephanie Small office at 2:00pm Christina. Christina stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her wet body and walked to meet Tom at the door.

"I'll be there Tom, I love you, have a great day" She wrapped her arms around Tom's neck and kissed him gently on the lips. He pulled her close to him but let her go quickly. She looked up at him in disappointment and with a slight pout. "Christina you know if I kiss you any longer neither one of us will make it to work on time." He said with a sly smile. "I love you Christina and will see you later." He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek and walked back into the bedroom, grabbing his bag. She followed behind him into the bedroom to get dressed.

"I love you too Tom, see you later". He turned and gave her one last smile and she smiled back with her hazel eyes lighting up as she did. Christina heard the door close and went on to get dressed.

Section 3

**Truth Be Told **

Picking up the Pieces.

Both of their days had been hectic but their appointment was just around the corner and Tom was looking forward to it. He had a few questions he wanted to ask Christina but he knew that if he did it without a mediator it could turn into a fight and he wasn't sure if he could handle that with everything else that had happened in just a few short weeks.

Dr. Stephanie Small was seated at her desk, going over her notes from her last session with Christina which had been over a month ago. She was glad Christina had called for another session and even happier that she had decided to bring Tom with her. She had met Dr. Wakefield at a couple of functions in the hospital and considered him a very attractive man and very pleasant to be around, she figured this would be a session that would be dictated by Tom. As she continued what she was doing, she looked up at hearing a knock at her door, she glanced over at the clock and noticed it was time for Tom and Christina's appointment. "Come in!" Dr. Small said, as she closed the folder on Christina's last session. As the door opened Tom walked in the office and looked around to see if Christina had already made it there." Dr. Wakefield Good Afternoon I'm Dr. Stephanie Small." she introduced herself as she stood and walked over to where he was standing. "Good Afternoon Dr. Small." Tom said with a smile and a firm handshake. "Please call me Tom." he said with a friendly smile. "Okay Tom, please have a seat and make yourself comfortable." she told him as she led him over to the sofa that was sitting against the wall. Tom sat down on one end of a long brown leather couch. And Dr. Small sat in the chair across from it. Tom was feeling a little uncomfortable because he wasn't sure how this session would turn out and if he would be able to ask Christina the questions that were on his mind. He fiddled with his phone until they heard a knock, they both looked up and over at the door. "Come in". Dr. Small said as she looked over her shoulder then seeing Christina enter the room. Christina walked to the couch and smiled at Tom, when their eyes met Dr. Small could see the love they had for one another. "Hi Tom, Good Afternoon Dr. Small sorry I'm late." Christina said as she stood next to Tom and placed her hand on his shoulder as she stepped over his feet to sit on the other side of the couch. Once they were all settled. Dr. Small started to talk, in a smooth and reassuring voice, trying to make both Tom and Christina feel comfortable. "Christina, I want to start with Tom but I want to address something you said in our last session." Christina looked over at Tom then back at Dr. Small Christina nodded her head in agreement before saying "okay." Dr. Small took a breath and continued. "Christina you said that Tom was your rock. Tom what I want to know is how do you feel about what Christina said?" Tom paused and looked at Christina he wasn't sure he understood. "If I was your ROCK why didn't you lean on me Christina?" Christina paused and looked to the floor she wasn't sure how he was going to react to what she had to say she wanted to choose the right words to express how she was feeling. She looked back over at him again. "We were both hurting so much Tom, I felt so guilty about losing our baby and every time I went looking for you I couldn't find you." Tom stood from his seat and walked across the room, he wasn't sure he was hearing her right he looked back over at her and walked back to the couch. "What do you mean you couldn't find me, I was sleeping right next to you Christina? I tried to take you home I told you I needed you that we needed each other but all you wanted to do was work." "Baby, you were there physically but emotionally I felt I couldn't connect with you." "Christina, what do you mean you couldn't connect you didn't even try." he yelled at her before Dr. Small interrupted him. "Christina may I ask you a question?" Tom turned and looked at her as he took a seat back on the sofa. "Sure." Christina said as she looked over at Tom then back at the doctor. "Tom said that he tried to take you home why didn't you let him?" "I had to work." Christina told her with conviction as she started to get a little agitated. "Christina you had just went through a dramatic experience it sounds to me you use work as a coping mechanism." Christina looked at Dr. Small as she finished what she was saying and she knew she was right she had did it with Michaels death it was all she knew to cope. "Tom you said that she didn't try but did you try again to connect with Christina?" Tom took a deep breath and looked over at Christina then back at the doctor and at the moment he realized that neither one of them had really tried. "No I didn't I just thought we could move forward." Tom took another deep breath and looked at Christina. "Christina I'm sorry if I made you feel alone. I took my experiences as a doctor to disconnect and brought into our home, our relationship and for that I will always be regretful." Christina looked over at Tom. "I love you and I know that I could have, no I should have handled everything better, and I'm sorry that I didn't open up to you, that I choose to work and not go home with you. Tom I was scared and I didn't know how to let you in."

"Christina, Tom that was a great start. Tom do you have any other topics you want to discuss with Christina?" With insecurity in his voice and not being able to look squarely at Christina, he apprehensively asked. "Did you love him? Christina wasn't expecting Tom to ask her that question again and she felt like she had been punched in the gut, and it was really not something she wanted to talk about in front of another person. She sat there nervously fidgeting in her seat and Tom could see how uncomfortable the question had made her, but he didn't care, he felt he deserved an answer. Christina was trying to put her thoughts together to answer him, and she knew she was taking a long time, but she wanted to answer the question with as much delicacy as possible. Suddenly her cell phone started to beep she hit the ignore and started to speak but before she could get the first word out her cell phone beeped again she looked down to see there was an emergency that apparently only she could handle. She knew this wasn't going to go over well and Tom was going to be extremely pissed with her but she had to go. As Christina stood to her feet she knew she was stuck between a rock and a hard place, she looked at Tom with sorrow in her eyes. "I'm so sorry Tom, but there's an emergency at the hospital." Tom looked at Christina with rage in his eyes she was doing it again. "Christina don't do this do not walk out on us." "I'm not but what do you want me to do?" she asked him as her phone beeped again. "Baby I have to do my job what if it was the other way around and you were needed in surgery?" "That's different Christina and you know It." he yelled "Tom I have to go Dr. Small I'll reschedule." she said just before walking out the door. "Damn it Christina!" Tom took a deep breath and stood there for a few minutes, "Dr. Small's I'm sorry and thank you for your time." "Tom you have nothing to be sorry for I know that this session didn't go the way you had expected but I can see the love between the two of you, I'm sure that you and Christina will be able to settle and work pass all your hurt and issues once the lines of communication are fully opened." with a forced smile Tom looked at the doctor he was praying that she was right "Thank you for the advice and your time I'll make sure that Christina reschedules." He shook Dr. Small's hand and headed out the office. He was still angry with Christina and at this point he really didn't know what to do he walked back to his office and paced the floor but the more he did the angrier he got he headed out of his office and over to hers.

Section 4

**Love Me Now!**

No doubt in my mind.

Christina had just hung up the phone and was sitting at her desk when Tom came storming into the room slamming and locking the door behind him he wasn't giving her another chance to walk out of another room. "Christina?" Tom yelled out and the sound of his voice echoed through out her office she jumped at the tone of it, she had seen him mad before but he was seriously pissed at this point. "What the hell were you doing walking out on a therapy session like that?" Tom asked harshly. "Tom it was an emergency I really didn't have a choice." Christina tried to explain again. "When it comes to work everything is an emergency for you Christina, tell me when is our relationship going to become an emergency for you? Does it have to flat line again for you to start paying attention?"

Christina turned and looked up at him. "That's not fair Tom and you know our relationship is important to me, and I'm sorry about the session I'll reschedule it I promise."

"Your always sorry Christina, I am so damn tired of hearing you say you're sorry."

"Okay Tom what is it that you want from me, I'm doing the best I can." she yelled at him as she stood up from the chair and walked around him.

"If that's your best Christina I hate to see your worse, and where in the hell do you think your going?"

"I'm going to do my job!"

"Christina don't walk away from me! Were not done." Christina looked at him and started for the door but before she could make it he grabbed her by the arm roughly pulling her back into the room pushing her up against the wall, "I told you not to walk away form me Christina." she flinched at the tone and the look in his eyes he had never put his hands on her, not like this. "Tom stop please sweetie your hurting me, I don't want to fight with you." Christina told him as she averted her eyes away from him. Tom moved in a bit closer pushing her all the way back trapping her between him and the wall. "Were not going to fight look at me."

"Tom please? I'm sorry." Christina cried out not knowing what he was about to do. "I said look at me Christina." she slowly turned her head and looked him in the eyes her heart was pounding fast and before she knew it he had leaned in and kissed her hard and passionately. At this moment, she was putty in his hands he whispered seductively in her ear as he undid the buttons on her blouse, "Tom, sweetie we… Before she could get the words out, his lips covered hers again with an even more intenseness, the experience brought her back to the first time they made love, causing several moans to flow from her lips as he gently moved his tongue in and out of her mouth. She was doing her best trying to think of a way to get out of this predicament she had found herself in and praying that no one came knocking on her door. She grabbed the back of his neck and pressed her body as close to his as she could manage she could feel her body responding in ways she would rather it not given their location but she had no control over it . She closed her eyes and fell into the feeling, as Tom removed her clothes along with his own he moved her over to the sofa that was sitting in her office, he gently laid her down, "I love you," escaped her lip as she let her thoughts drift away and allowed her body to enjoy what Tom was doing to it. "I love you too, Christina." he whispered softly in her ear as he continued driving her body insane. She moaned long and soft as he entered her. He started to thrust in and out of her, her body was consumed with so much pleasure she could barely move. "Tom! I love you, she whispered out, Oh god I love you!" she whispered again as his strokes started to get longer faster and harder, like he was trying to declare his love for her with every movement he made never missing a stroke. She moaned louder enjoying his painful pleasure not wanting to bring attention to them he covered her mouth once again with his, kissing her deep and hard, and by this time, she was moving her hips and following his every stroke, as their body's started to tighten and tense up her release came simultaneously to his as their body's started to settle he hovered over her and stared into her hazel eyes, he started to reminisce back to the day they first met, the connection was so apparent he knew that he was in the presence of someone special their attraction to each other was so natural that every one could see it but them. As they laid their in each others glory they stared back at each other, she softly caressed his face. "Baby I really am sorry."

"I know you are Christina but baby we need to do better then this."

"I know and we will. Tom I love you and I don't want to lose you, baby please just tell me what you want me to do."

Section 5

**Past Hurts Uncovered. **

Truth and Consequences.

Tom laid on top of her looking into Christina's eyes Tom knew that Christina was going to do her best to avoid what he wanted to know, "for starters I want you to answer my question." What question was that Tom," Christina looked away knowing good and well what it was he wanted to know, she was just buying time she knew to answer his question she would have to dig deep into herself and her emotions, she couldn't without reveling the truth about herself, With firmness in his voice and pressing his body closer to hers so she couldn't get away even if she wanted to from him this time he said it again "did you love him." Christina looked back at him and stared into his eyes she was about to tell Tom some things that she had only told one other living person and some that she had never told a living soul. Christina took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, "I was in love with the idea of loving someone who could protect me, visually, and Nick had the means to do that by being a cop. I looked for that in my father but never got it. I fell for the safety of it but my heart was not in love with him". She said with sadness and pleading in her eyes that her husband would understand. "Tom please say something?" Tom looked at her with love in his eyes he knew that her childhood wasn't the best but he wasn't sure how bad it really was. "Christina you have never told me about your past, please tell me what happened?" Tom said, caressing her face and whipping away the tear that was now rolling down her face. "Tell me about your mom?" Christina smiled at him. "Well my mother was a very sweet person but was very sick she suffered from crohn's disease from the time I was six to the time she past away when I was seventeen, **I **took care of her it was one of the reasons I became a nurse. "And your father?" and the minute he said it he wanted to take it back at seeing the expression that was now on her face just at the mention of him. "My father well that's a different story he was a drunk that put me and my mother through pure hell he cheated on her repeatedly and gambled away everything we owned." she told him as tears started to roll down her face even more. "Tom I want to tell you something that I have never told anyone."

Tom looked at her and kissed her tears away and nodded his head. "Tom that wasn't the first time I have been attacked, Men came into our home one day, while my father was passed out from a drunken stupor and they took me into my mother's bedroom and had their way with me and told my mom, to give my dad the message that that was their payback. My mom could do nothing but cry and yell out for them to stop". By this time Christina was not the only one crying so was Tom. They held each other for a few minutes, until Christina slightly pulled away. The attack that day made me feel like I was worthless and not loveable, all those memories were brought back the night I was attacked and lost our baby. After we lost our daughter, I didn't feel like I deserved to be loved by you and it scared me. I was drawn to Nick because of the protection he could offer me with being a police office and he was safe because I knew I didn't love him, I was grateful for his protection. I started realizing after a while that his protection came with ulterior motives and that he was unraveling at the seams and was dangerous. By that point I was in so deep I didn't know how to get out without hurting everyone involved, which I obviously did and I am so sorry for that. I know that you are the only man that has ever loved me unconditionally," she said smiling at him and kissing him gently on the cheek. "I hope you can forgive me for all that I have put you and our relationship through." Tom, gently kissed Christina back and hugged her, "Thank you for sharing with me, I know that was not easy. I hope you will always feel safe with me Christina, even if I don't have a gun." "Tom you make me feel safe in ways no one else ever has, with your unconditional love, and letting me be who I am without judging me". she smiled and looked at him with those sultry hazel eyes like he loved so much. He kissed her again, and gently started caressing her face again and down her neck, her body reacted to his gentle touch and in a just a few minutes they were lost in passion again. When they had warn each other out again, Christina smiled at him, "I love you Tom, my heart and soul will always belong to you."

To be continued...


	3. The End Is Only The Beginning

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

****Chapter three.****

Three months later

**The End Is Only The Beginning**

Her Vision of him

It was early that Friday morning when Christina awoke and rolled over onto her back at the annoying sound of their alarm clock going off, Tom had already left due to an early a.m. surgery, as she reached over and turned it off she laid there for a few minutes just thinking about how long and trying the week had been, she was past exhausted but was looking forward to a quiet weekend and some quality time with her husband. As she pushed the covers back climbed out of bed and headed for the shower she noticed that her cell phone was blinking, she reached over grabbed it off the night stand and flipped it open to see a text from Tom that read. _"Good Morning sunshine hope u slept well I'll see u in a few hours." _And at the end of the text she notice three letters._ "I L U" _Christina smiled in a soft laugh and hit the reply button and typed _"I L U 2" _and she hit send closed the phone and walked into the bathroom.

"Good Morning! Ms. Hawthorne" Christina, secretary said as she followed her into the office.

"Good Morning! Yolanda how are you doing this morning?" Christina asked as she sat her things down and walked over to pour herself a cup of much needed coffee.

"I'm good and yourself?

"I'm exhausted looking forward to getting some much needed sleep this weekend. Christina told her as she took a sip of coffee and all most gagged on it. "Eww! Yolanda what did you do to the coffee this morning?"

"What? Is something wrong with it?" I make it the same way every morning, I can make a new pot if you like?"

"No that's okay, I just can't drink this."

"You can't drink what?" Tom asked as he walked through the door.

"The coffee it taste funny this morning."

"Good morning Dr. Wakefield."

"Good morning Yolanda how are you?"

"I'm good thank you."

"Here Christina, let me try it." Tom took the cup from her hands taking a sip, Christina there's nothing wrong with the coffee in fact its better then mine."

"Then you can drink it."

"Its fine Yolanda Christina must be having problems with her taste buds this morning."

"Thanks Dr. Wakefield, I'll be at my desk it you need me." Yolanda told them as she started to walk out of the room. "Oh here are your phone messages, don't forget you have a two o'clock meeting with the board of directors there's some paperwork on your desk that needs your attention and the information that you requested on the end of the month status reports, oh and don't forget Dr. Marshall can see you at eleven o'clock this morning."

"Thank you Yolanda please remind me about fifteen minutes before.

"I will."

"What would I do with out you? You're a life saver." Christina called out to her as the door closed.

"You would go nuts." Tom replied as he started to laugh and take another sip of the coffee he was holding. "So what are you seeing Brenda about this morning?"

"I'm just feeling rundown so I thought I would see her, Dr. Choudhary can't get me in until next week." she told him as she took a seat at her desk and looked up at him. "What? What is that look you're giving me?"

"I'm just looking at my wife that's all." Tom told her as he stared down at her thinking how beautiful she was.

"Did I do something wrong?" Christina asked with concern in her voice.

"No Christina you're beautiful and everything is fine sweetheart."

"Are you sure Tom? You would tell me right?"

"Yes I would, stop worrying that you're doing something wrong okay." Tom said as he leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips as his pager started to go off. "Hey that's the O.R I better go see what's going on I'll see you later, I want to know what Brenda says." He told her as he leaned over and kissed her one more time before heading for the door.

"You'll be the first to know." she told him.

"I better be." he said as he walked out of the room.

**A few hours later**

**Ties That Bind Us Together**

Don't cry over spilled milk

It was eleven o'clock and Christina was on her way down the hall to Brenda's office when she ran right into her.

"Hey you! You're right on time.

"Hey, yeah you know me I didn't want to keep you waiting."

"Well come on in and tell me what's going on with you Christina?" Brenda said as she closed the door and they both took a seat. Christina just sat there for a few minutes.

"Okay Christina what's going on?"

"Truth I'm not sure; I'm feeling rundown I'm just so exhausted all the time."

"How long has this been going on?"

"Umm… for the last week or so and maybe a little longer its not getting better its just getting worse."

"How are you sleeping?"

"I'm sleeping through the night its just I go to bed exhausted at the end of the day but I wake up more exhausted I'm just so tired all the time and its just been a struggle getting through the day without wanting to take a nap.

"And your appetite how is it?"

"It's so, so." Christina told her as Brenda gave her a funny look. "Okay fine I really don't have one."

"Okay I know your fatigued but are you having any weakness, dizziness, headaches, difficulty concentrating, or irritability?"

Christina looked at her with a half smile. "Brenda come on we work at James River, headaches and irritability comes with the job, but the answer to your question yes I've had some headaches and I'm irritated a lot but none of the other things."

"it sound like you might have an Iron deficiency why don't we take some blood run some test, I'll do a chem. panel 7, a CBC and a few other test to see if we can pin down what's going on before we go any further, I'll put a rush on it and let you know what I find. Do you want me to put this under a Jane Doe?" Brenda asked as she drew a few tubes of Christina's blood.

"Please and Brenda thank you."

"You're welcome Christina."

Christina went about her day as usual she didn't give the test that Brenda was running another thought. Hours had went by, Christina was sitting at her desk going over a few reports when she heard a knock on her door.

"Come in." Christina called out as she looked up from what she was doing to see Brenda standing there with a medical file in her hands and a look of shock on her face, Christina started to get an uneasy feeling about what Brenda was about to say.

"Christina? I have you're blood work back." Brenda told her as she took a seat in one of the chairs in front of her desk.

"Okay how bad is it? Christina asked as she sat there a little unnerved.

"Here I'll let you read it for yourself."

Christina forced a slight smile and threw Brenda a pointed look as she reached across the desk picking up the file, she started to read the results of all the test that Brenda had ran as she flipped the pages all was looking good until she came to the third page and half way down it she saw the word positive she stared at the word for a few seconds then she took notice that it was a HCG test she read over it again and again as her heart started beating rapidly she started to breathe heavy, panic was starting to set in she looked up at Brenda as shock grew across her face Christina was speechless more like terrified she didn't quite understand what was going on.

Brenda looked at Christina in a perplexed way she couldn't quite read her expression she wasn't sure if she was happy or not. "Congratulations! Christina you're pregnant, and you're a little anemic."

"What? How? How did this happen?" Christina asked in confusion.

"Well if you have to ask how." Brenda replied in a laugh. "You need to ask Tom"

"No! I mean. You said it would be…" I'm what?" Christina replied as she pushed away from the desk her body was starting to feel out of control she grabbed the arms of the chair tight as her breathing became harder to do. "Oh God I can't breathe."

"Christina!" Brenda called out as she scrambled from her chair and flew to the other side of the desk. "Okay Christina take it easy you need to calm down and breathe come on short breaths that's it inhale now exhale slowly."

"I thought… Brenda I thought I couldn't get…"

"Christina I had the lab run the test three times, I know I said that it would be extremely difficult if not impossible but you are.

"But I…oh God I told Tom that I couldn't get…" she started to say as Tom walked into the room.

"You told Tom you couldn't get what?" Tom asked as they both looked over at him Christina was still having trouble breathing. "What the hell is going on?" Tom all but yelled in concern as he noticed that Christina was in distress. "Christina are you okay?" Tom asked as he kneeled down next to Brenda and started examining her himself. "Christina breathe are you okay?"

"It's nothing I'm fine Tom, I just got a little excited that's all." she said as she looked up and over at Brenda who was now standing.

"She panicked Tom."

"Panicked! Why?" Tom asked as he looked up at Brenda then over at where her hand was sitting.

"I'm going to leave you two to talk if you need me page me I'm leaving this here." Brenda told them as she tapped the folder she was touching, she looked back at Christina giving her a look to suggest, just tell him before she walked toward the door and left the office closing the door behind her.

"Okay Christina what's going on?" Tom asked as he stood up and picked up the file and started to read the first page. "What is this? Are these the test that Brenda ran on you?"

"Tom don't please, not yet."

"Christina what is it that you don't want me to see?" he asked as he took the folder and walked across the room.

"Tom!" was all she could say still feeling a bit of panic she couldn't move, as she watched him read the results of the first page and flip to the second then the third she looked up at him as shock started to appear on his face. Tom closed the folder laying it back on her desk as he sat in one of the chairs across from it, he ran his hands over his face as he lowered his head for a few minutes, the smile started to replace the shocked expression he had.

"Tom please say something." she asked in a teary voice as he looked up and just stared at her thinking how beautiful she was when she's pregnant and thanking God that he gave them a second chance at being happy. "Are you happy about this? Sweetie please say something." Christina asked again as her nerves were starting to get the best of her, he sat there staring she didn't know what to think or what he was thinking. Tom took a deep breath after a few minutes doing his best to compose himself of the overwhelming feeling of joy he was having.

"Christina, I'm shocked as you are but baby there is no doubt in my mind I'm happy, I'm not even sure happy is the right word for what I'm feeling right now." Tom told her as he stood up and walked around the desk pulling her from her chair and taking her into his arms as he kissed her softly then whispering into her ear. "God I love you Christina."

Christina closed her eyes at the soft sound of his voice as she laid her head into his chest it was something that has always calmed her no matter what was going on in her life as she held on tight she softly whispered back "I love you too Tom more then you know."

**A Touch of Comfort**

Running on Empty

Christina spent the rest of the day sitting in meetings and doing paperwork she had never thought that this was the kind of thing she would be doing but here she was, as she sat at her desk she thought how happy she was at this moment she was giving Tom something that he so desperately wanted that they wanted, she picked up the phone to call Katayoun's office to make an appointment but decided to walk over and see her in person she grabbed the test results and headed for the door.

"Hey Christina where are you going?" Kat asked as she saw Christina getting off the elevator.

"I was just coming over to talk with you, do you have some time?"

"Sure! Lets go to my office and you can tell me what's going on." Kat told her as Christina nodded her head and followed Kat back down the hall and around the corner. "Ok Christina have a seat and tell me what's going on?" Kat asked as they both sat down.

"Well this for one." Christina said as she slid the folder across Kat's desk. Kat sat there reading over the file for a few seconds as she reached the third page and half way down it her eyes widen.

"Christina Congratulations!"

"Kat can I really be… I mean Brenda said that it would be extremely difficult if not impossible?"

"Christina calm down, tell you what we could do another blood test if you want but you know that the lab runs them twice to make sure, we can do an ultrasound if you like?"

"Okay let's do the ultrasound."

"Okay! Just a few questions first. Do you remember when your last cycle was?" so we can determine how far along you are."

"umm…I'm not sure Kat the last few months hell the last six months have been a little stressful with everything that has went on I don't think I could tell you what I had for dinner last night but if I had to guess maybe a month in a half or two months ago."

"Okay so were looking at you being six to eight weeks the ultrasound will tell us more umm…" Kat started to say as she looked at Christina with concern in her eyes.

"What? What is it Kat?"

"Christina I would like to call Tom in on this you both need to know the risks of this pregnancy."

"Okay I'll call him now just give me a sec." Christina said as she stood up and walked into the hallway to make the call, as the phone started to ring Christina took a deep breath then exhaled as Tom answered the phone. "Hey sweetie can you meet me over at Kat's office she wants to talk to us." Christina paused for a second as Tom told her that he was on his way. "Okay sweetie see you in a few minutes." she told him as she hung up the phone took another deep breath and walked back into Kat's office and took a seat. "He's on his way."

"Okay while we wait on Tom I'll have Linda set you up an appointment." Kat told her as she picked up the phone and dialed her outer office. "Will go ahead and do an ultrasound today just to take a look, yes Linda I need you to set up an appointment for Christina Hawthorne Wakefield as soon as possible please, yes its prenatal." Kat told her as Linda ran off some different days and times. "One sec, Christina is next Friday good for you?" Kat asked as Christina nodded her head yes. "Yes Linda that's fine umm… no just bring it to my office she's right here thank you." Kat said as she hung up the phone.

"Okay Christina you know your going to need to take it really easy with this pregnancy."

"I will Kat I promise." Christina told her as they both looked up to the knock on the door.

"Come in." Kat called out and as the door opened Tom was standing there. "Tom please come in have a seat, now that I have you both here." she started to say when they heard another knock at the door. "Yes come in."

"Sorry to interrupt here is the appointment you asked for." Linda said as she walked into the room then handing the appointment card to Christina.

"Thank you." Christina said as she took the card and placed it in her pocket.

"Thank you Linda." Kat said as Linda turned and headed for the door closing it behind her.

"Okay sorry about that, now Tom, Christina first I just wanted to say Congratulations!"

"Thank you Kat."

"Now I want to go over a few things with both of you this pregnancy is not going to be easy, Christina your age makes you high risk for one and the endometriosis also makes you high risk you also could be looking at a Low birth weight, having a C-section you can develop high blood pressure problems, or pre-eclampsia and you can go into preterm labor." Kat explained with an expression on her face that had Tom and Christina a little more then concerned as they both turned and looked at each other, Christina took Tom's hand into hers as they turned and looked back at Kat.

"Kat what aren't you telling us?" Tom asked feeling there was more to this.

"Umm…." Kat started as she looked at both of them and forced a smile "yeah there is just one other thing I want to really stress." Kat said as she stared at them for a few seconds.

"What is it Kat?" Christina asked in a concerned voice. Kat lowered her head for a second then looked back up at her friends.

"Kat please just tell us." Tom said.

"This condition, Christina it increases the chances of miscarriages, I'm sorry." Christina looked at Kat then at Tom as she let go of his hand and stood up she walked over to the other side of the room putting one hand over her mouth and placed the other on her stomach as tears started to form in her eyes, Tom stood up quickly and went to her wrapping his arms around her.

"Tom I can't lose this baby I…I just…I just can't." Christina cried out as she looked up at him with tears running down her face.

"Christina were not going to lose this baby, we can do this together."

"Tom what if…."

"Listen to me were not going to lose this baby okay? Do you hear me?"

"I hear you, we can do this right?"

"We can do it," Tom told her as he hugged her and kissed her on the forehead, okay Kat what do we need to do now?" Tom asked as he took Christina back over to the chair to sit down.

"Christina I'm going to write you some scripts for prenatal vitamins, folic acid and one for a iron I see here you're a little anemic. Christina your going to need to stay calm and stress free and for you I know that's going to be hard but your going to have to do it, you have to take it easy for the next seven to seven in a half months, if you don't Christina I'll put you on complete bed rest and I don't mean at home I will hospitalize you I mean it."

"Ok I understand."

"I want to see you every two to three weeks, Christina caring this baby to term is going to take a lot I mean a lot of discipline on your part can you handle that?"

"Yes! I'll do what ever I have to do."

"Okay so why don't we all go over and do an ultrasound make sure that little guy is doing okay." Kat said as they all stood and walked over to one of the empty exam rooms. "Okay Christina if you would take a seat on the table and lay back for me please." Kat said as she went over to the sink and washed her hands. "You ready to see your baby's first photo?"

"Ready as I'm ever going to be." Christina told her as she undid the button and unzipped her pants, lifting her shirt and exposing her stomach as she took Tom's hand.

"Okay lets take a quick peek this is going to be a little cold," Kat said as she squeezed the gel onto Christina's stomach, she moved the transducer around just a bit she turned the monitor toward Christina and Tom, theirs your baby Christina looked at the screen then turned and looked at Tom.

"Sweetie look. That's our baby." Christina said as Tom smiled and leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Okay Christina you can sit up now." Kat said as she turned off the machine and handed Christina some Kleenex's "everything looks okay if you start to have any and I mean any problems you call me."

"She will." Tom said before Christina had the chance.

"I will Kat; I'm not taking any chances." Christina said as she sat back up.

"Ok so I'll see you or both of you next Friday?"

"Yes you will." Christina said as she climbed off the table she took Tom by the hand. "Thanks Kat for everything."

"Your welcome take it easy, get some rest, and I'll see you next Friday." she told them as they all left the room.

**To be continued...**


	4. Smiling Through The Tears

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

********Chapter four****

**Smiling Through The Tears**

The Things We Do For Love

It had been a hard and long three and a half months Christina was now a little over twenty three weeks. After finding out that she was expecting her body started to turn against her in more ways than one, the endometriosis symptoms had gotten worse as those symptoms started to ease up she was hit with having high blood pressure which developed into toxemia also know as pre-eclampsia. It was time for another appointment with Katayoun. As Christina and Tom walked into the office of expecting mothers Christina just looked around she had never thought she would be one again, but God had blessed her with another chance with the man she loved.

"Good afternoon." Christina said as she smiled at the tall redhead standing behind the desk. "I have a one o'clock with Katayoun." She told the receptionists as she picked up the pen and signing herself in.

"Good afternoon Mrs. Wakefield how are you feeling today?"

"I'm good thank you, and yourself." Christina replied with a smile.

"I'm good thank you for asking." The receptionists said as she took the clipboard and marked off the name just before Christina's. "If you have a seat someone will be with you shortly."

"Thank you." Christina turned around and walked back over to where Tom was sitting. "So you ready for this? We get to really see the baby today," she asked Tom as he took her hand into his.

"Yes I'm ready, and sweetheart it's all going to be okay why are you so nervous? You keep this up your going to make me nervous."

"Sorry baby I can't help it. Hey Tom we never talked about if we wanted to know the sex or not?"

"I think I want it to be a surprise. But I'm guessing you want to know?"

"Uh…yeah I do and I can't believe you don't."

"Come on Chris why do you need to know everything?"

"Okay have you met me?" Christina replied in laughter as she turned and looked over at him. "I just want to be prepared for him or her that's all."

"Christina everything will be fine we'll get the room ready I'll paint we can do it all in a neutral color."

"Fine but I still think it's a boy." She said with a smile, as she turned to the sound of her name.

"Christina Wakefield." The nurse said as she stood in the open door looking around.

"I'm right here," she replied as she reached out her hand for his.

"How are you both doing today?" The young nurse asked as she led them down hall to an exam room.

"Were doing well just a little anxious that's all." Christina told her as they all walked into the room.

"Is today another ultrasound day?" The nurse asked in a smile as she opened the chart.

"Yes it is maybe we can tell what were having today. Christina smiled big as she said it.

"Okay Mrs. Wakefield we just need to get your vitals then your weight, and a urine sample." The nurse told her as she wrapped the BP cuff around her arm after taking her blood pressure, pulse and temp, she then made some notations on Christina's chart.

"How was her BP?" Tom inquired in a concerned voice.

"Its a little high Dr. Katayoun will go over it with you both, Mrs. Wakefield can we go and get your weight please?" They both looked at each other with a concern look on their faces.

"Tom it's going to be okay babe." Christina told him as she walked out the door headed down the hall. As she reached the scale she kicked off her shoes and stepped on.

"So how much have I gained now?" Christina asked the nurse after stepping off the and putting her shoes back on.

"Umm…"

"That much." Christina said in a half smile as they headed back to the exam room.

"You gained 6 ½ pounds." The nurse told her as she jotted it down in the chart.

"Is everything ok Chris?" Tom asked as they walked back into the room.

"NO! I've gained 6 ½ more pounds, jeez this kid is going to be huge." She told him as she grab the urine sample cup and headed for the bathroom, and a few minutes later she returned handing it to the nurse and taking a seat on the table.

"Okay Mrs. Wakefield the doctor will be in to see you in just a few minutes." The nurse grabbed urine sample cup and left the room. Christina and Tom sat there for about ten minutes before they heard the knock on the door.

"Good afternoon Christina, how are you feeling?" Katayoun asked in a smile as she entered the room. "Hey Tom? Almost missed you standing there."

"Hey Kat! And were doing well," they both said simultaneously.

"Good, I see you've gained 6 ½ more pounds." Kat replied as she flipped through the pages and then back to the first one. Tom and Christina both took notice of how she was studying the chart.

"Kat is something wrong?" Tom asked with more then concern in his voice.

"Umm… no I'm just looking at her blood pressure numbers its kind of high. Kat replied with a half smile that still had concern in her voice. "Christina have you been experiencing any blurriness in your vision, or headaches of any kind?"

"No blurriness but a few headaches nothing major I just related them to the renovations on the hospital and the building of the new research center."

"I need to know this things Christina." Kat scolded as she gave her a sideways glance and looked over at Tom with a suggested look of did you know? Tom shrugged and shock his head to suggest she didn't tell me. Christina looked at both of them.

"I'm sorry you two it wont happen again, I really did think they were due to the things that were occurring at the hospital I only had a few, and they were always when I was going over the budget or the new plans for the new wings.

"Okay next time just let me know."

"I will, both of you."

"Okay moving on how is your appetite are you still following the no salt diet?"

"It's good, and yes to the letter,"

"Are you getting plenty of rest staying stress free? Christina and remember I know you." Kat said as she looked over at Tom again.

"I am! As much as I can, he won't let me do anything at home but sit with my feet up and sleep."

"Okay." Kat said as she started laughing. "Are you having any nausea? body aches, other then the abdomen, like back, groin, or thigh pains?" "

"No nausea, no body aches or anything and the abdominal pain has eased up a lot to."

"Good. How is the edema?"

"Not to bad today. Now if you had asked me a few days ago I might have a different answer for you."

"Yeah I can see you don't have as much swelling in your feet hands and face as you did a few weeks ago."

"Are you sleeping okay Christina?"

"Umm…pretty good considering I can only sleep on my side and back."

"Are you still taking your vitamins, folic acid and iron everyday?"

"Everyday."

"Well everything is looking good, I'm still a little concerned about your pressure today it's a little higher then I would like it to be, but I'm going to take in account that your both excited about seeing your baby. Christina I need you to keep following the diet keep calm and please try to stay stress free, I want to check your BP again in the morning can you come by the office around nine maybe nine thirty?"

"She'll be here Kat don't worry."

"Christina please make sure you get plenty of rest I want to see you carry this baby to term if you don't I'll put you on bed rest in the hospital.

"I know, I know and your not playing." She told her as Tom and Kat both looked at her with a firm look.

"I should get your urine results back in a few days will see how your protein levels are doing, can you lay back for me Christina?" Kat asked as she washed her hands and grabbed one of the paper measuring tapes, "So is the baby moving around a lot?"

"Umm…yeah kicking like crazy."

"Good he or she is letting you know that their doing okay." She told them as they all started laughing. "I just want to measure your stomach Christina then we can do your ultrasound."

"Okay sounds good," Christina told her as she laid back on the table and pulled up her shirt and pushed her pants down.

"Well you're measuring at 29 centimeters," she told her as she made notations of it in the chart. "You're a little bigger then I had anticipated at this stage.

"See Tom I told you that I was to big to be only 23 weeks."

"It's normal for it to be off by 1-2 weeks, but to be off more then that, we may have a problem doing a vaginal delivery if the baby is to big."

"So we're looking at a C- section maybe?" Tom asked with a little concern.

"Nine times out of ten a C- section may be our best option all around, you guys okay with that? Christina?"

"Yeah I'm okay with it; I told you I'll do what I have to do to have this baby."

"Okay so let's have a little look at this little one see how he or she is doing." Kat told her as she grabbed the gel and the ultrasound machine. "This is going to be a little cold," Kat said as she put on a pair of gloves and squeezed the gel onto Christina stomach, as she move the transducer around just a bit Christina laid there patiently. "There we go OH! That's why, how did I missed that the first time." Kat said in a surprising voice.

"Kat what is it? You missed what?" Tom firmly asked as he looked down at Christina then back over at Kat with more then concern in his eyes and voice.

"Give me one second trying to get a really! Nice picture so I can print and give it to you okay, here we go. Oh and congratulations." Kat said with a smiled as she turned the monitor around for them to see. "I'm so sorry I missed it the first time I don't know how I did.

"Oh my god! Tom is that what I think it is? Christina said as she placed her hand over her mouth.

"Yes sweetheart it is." Tom's expressing changed from a smile to a huge grin as he leaned down and kissed her.

"So do you want to hear the heart beats?"

"Yes please," Christina said as tears started to run down her face. "Oh my God Tom listen to them."

"I hear them, God that's a beautiful sound."

"Well your babies have very strong heart beats, do you want to know the sexes."

"Tom?" Christina turned away from the monitor for a second and looked up at him.

"You really want to know Christina?"

"Please."

"Okay tell us Kat what are they."

"Well it looks like you're having one of each."

"Really!" Tom and Christina said simultaneously.

"Yes! Okay let me take one more photo of your little ones for you, lets see if we can get a different angle." Kat told them as she moved the transducer around a bit more. "Okay there we go we're all done you can sit up when your ready Christina," Kat handed her some tissues to wipe off the gel as she made her way over to the counter to make some notations in her file. "Okay Christina I want you to really take it easy and stay off your feet as much as possible and please get lots of rest now that we know your carrying twins this doubles your chances of all the things we talked about even the miscarriage," she told her as she made some more notations in the chart.

Christina laid there and looked up at Tom with tears in her eyes, she wanted to give him this so badly and she knew if she lost the twins that their marriage might not make it through, not because they didn't love each other but because going through the loss of not one child but three would be more then both of them could handle.

"You okay Christina?" Tom asked knowing that she was worried to death about what Kat had just told her.

"I'm okay Tom I'm just…" Christina started to say when they both looked over at Kat.

"Okay here you both go."

"Thank you Kat."

"Your welcome. Okay so Christina, Tom do you have any questions or concerns for me today?"

"No I'm good I think you went over everything, Tom?"

"No I'm good."

"Okay so I'll see you in two weeks, if you have any question or concerns if you have any problems start to feel to light head or have any blurriness body aches anything you think I should know before your next appointment please call me.

"Thank you Kat we will." They told her as they watched her leave the room.

"Tom, babe can you believe it were having twins?" Christina asked as she wiped the tears from her eyes and the gel off her stomach and sat up.

"I can't but I'm so happy we are. Christina are you sure you're okay? I know what Kat told you scared you it scared me."

"Tom I'm okay really! And yes I'm scared to death but I know that God didn't give us this second chance at a family just to take it away from us."

Tom nodded his head. "Your right." he said as he leaned in with a reassuring kiss to her forehead. "You know on the way home tonight we need to stop and get some frames for these."

"You're a mess you know that." She told him as she started laughing.

"Now you know I have to put one on my desk."

"I know babe." She told him as she stood up and pulled her pants over her belly she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly on the lips. "Hey congratulations daddy." Christina smile was as big as the sun as she said it.

"Thank you, and congratulations to you to mommy." Tom replied with a smile just as big and another kiss before he slowly pulled her out of the room.

**Lessons Learned **

What Was I Thinking?

It had been four weeks, and everything with Christina and the babies was going great, she was staying calm and doing her best to stay stress free, her symptoms were still mild to moderate the mild swelling in her hands and face was uncomfortable but the swelling in her feet was more apparent some days walking was a task and just finding a comfortable pair of shoes was even a bigger one. Christina spent most of her time in her office dealing with the day to day paperwork and red tape the staff was fully aware of her condition and would usual come to her if there was a problem with the exception of the one or two disgruntled staff members. It was a Tuesday morning and Christina had just finished up with another doctors appointment when she decided to stop by the ER and go over something with Bobbie and Gail on her way back up to her office when the P.A. system started to call a code grey for the ER lobby, as they all rushed toward the double doors Christina was pushed back by one of the security guard trying to take control of the situation she stumble back but was caught by Steve rushing in behind them.

"Oh God Christina!" Bobbie yelled out. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine I think."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine Bobbie just a little shaken, and thank you Steve."

"Your welcome." Steve said as he made sure she was okay before going to see if security needed any help.

Christina stood there for a second waiting to see if the situation was under control when she felt a tap on her shoulder, she turned around to see Gail.

"Tom is two seconds from being in here."

"God he is going to kill me for being down here thanks Gail." She cried out as she ducked out of the ER and headed back toward her office. No sooner did Christina make it back to her office and take a seat at her desk she could feel Tom storming down the hallway. "Damn it Christina, she thought to herself as she sat at her desk nervously fidgeting as she heard the door open then slam shut.

"What the hell were you doing down there?" Tom yelled at her as he walked into the room and seeing her sitting there. She knew he was way pass mad and she jumped at the tone of his voice.

"Tom please I just stopped by the ER to go over something with Bobbie and Gail after my appointment." Christina said as she sat there looking up at him.

"You just stopped by? we agreed that you would stay out of the ER." Tom yelled as he ran his hand over his face and head. "Are you trying to lose these babies?"

"NO!" Christina yelled back, "why would you say that?"

"I don't know Christina, maybe because instead of being up here in your office with your feet up and taking it easy and out of harms way you're in the damn ER in the middle of, I don't know what all hell breaking lose."

"Tom please calm down."

"You want me to calm down Christina stay your ass out of the ER." He told her as he looked down at his pager going off. "I need to handle this don't leave this office and don't think this is over Christina because its not were going to finish this. He told her as he left the room slamming the door closed behind him.

Christina sat there and for the rest of the day she stayed in the walls of her office dealing with the red tape and the paperwork that went along with it. As the day came to an end Christina packed up her things and headed for the car, bypassing the ER all together, her day had finished before Tom's, she knew that he was still more then pissed at her, but she decided to make dinner and wait for him. She had learned in the time that they had been back together which battles to fight, and the ones to just let go of. She finally made it home, as she walked in the door all she wanted was a nice hot shower she decided to take one and then started dinner, in the shower she had decided to make Tom's second favorite meal a nice medium well done porterhouse steak with sautéed mushrooms baked potatoes and asparagus, she also had stopped and picked up his favorite dessert, White Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake hoping this would put him in a better mood, but she wouldn't keep her hopes up. She knew that she still had a tongue lashing coming when it came to the twins Tom wasn't taking any chances he had went over her head a few time during this pregnancy, Tom could be intimidating, tenacious and down right utterly persistent when he was pissed she had learned the hard way on more then one occasion since they had been back together. She had just finished with setting the table when she walked back into the kitchen and a second later she heard the front door open. "Okay Christina here goes nothing." she whispered to herself as she walked out of the kitchen and back into the dining room. "Hey, I cooked, I thought we could have a nice dinner, are you hungry?" she asked as she watched him toss his keys in the dish by the door.

"It smells good Christina."

"Everything's ready so if you go and wash up I'll set everything out."

"Okay I'll be right back." he told her as he headed for the bathroom to clean himself up he returned a few minutes later and took a seat at the table.

"Hey umm…. what would you like to drink? We have cranberry juice, red wine, water, that mango juice you like and I think you still have a beer or two in there." She told him as she sat the plates on the table.

"Beer will be fine thank you Christina." He told her as he took a seat at the table.

"Okay." She turned and headed back into the kitchen to get him a beer; and a glass of cranberry juice for herself she returned and had a seat across from him they sat there for a few minute eating before she started to speak.

"How is it?"

"Its good sweetheart my steak is just the way I like it, thank you." Tom said just as he took a drink of his beer.

"Your welcome." Christina's replied as her nerves started to calm down just a bit seeing that he didn't seem to be in such a pissed off mood but she knew how wrong she could be, it was just the calm before the storm, they set there for a few more minutes.

"So! You want to tell me again what possessed you to go into the ER today?" Tom asked in a calm but angry voice as he took a bite of his steak and then a drink of his beer.

Christina looked up from her plate sitting her fork down she stared at him for a few seconds as she muttered to herself. "That didn't last long."

"I'm sorry! what did you just say Christina?"

"I didn't say anything Tom." She leaned back in the chair folding her arms across her belly she had decided to stay calm and just take what ever he was going to dish out.

"Don't sit there and ignore me Christina. What the hell were you doing down there? You don't have to be in the ER any more."

"I'm not ignoring you, I'm sorry Tom I told you I was just there going over something with Bobbie and Gail, Tom I was doing my job. I didn't know that it was going to be trouble down there."

"Your job?" Tom yelled in anger as he stood up from the table. No! Your job is dealing with board members cutting red tape and pushing papers not in the ER in the middle of damn chaos."

Still in a calm voice she replied. "Tom please calm down I was doing paperwork when it all happened what is it that you would have wanted me to do?"

"Other then stepping back out of harms way and letting those who get paid for it do their jobs, if you needed to see Bobbie and Gail you should have called them up to your office, why is it Christina you always have to be in the middle of something in the middle of everything, and don't think I don't know that in the middle of all that you got pushed out of the way. if it wasn't for Steve." Tom screamed at her.

"Again I'm sorry Tom, what is it that you want from me?"

"I want you to stop acting like your supper freaking woman at lease until you have the twins you can't do it all we have already lost one baby I don't want or plan on losing my twins to."

Christina paused for a second took a deep breath as she gave him a pointed look; she stood up from the table and started to walk away.

"Where are you going? Don't walk away from me Christina."

she stood with her back to him and In a tired and monotone voice. "Tom if I don't walk away from you right now I'm going to say something that one of us will regret."

"What the hell can you possibly say or do that you haven't already done to me Christina." Tom yelled and the moment he said it he wanted to take it back.

Christina halted her next step as the words came out of his mouth she turned back around and face him still in the same voice, "I guess nothing Tom, I know I hurt you and I'm sorry, I don't know how many times I can say it but I'm sorry and I guess I will spend the rest of my life telling you that." As she turned back around and disappeared down the hall and into their bedroom. Tom walked over and took a seat on the couch running his hand over his head to the back of his neck.

"Damn it" he said under his breath as he sat there for a few minutes hating himself for what he had just put her through, he walk down the hall and paused at the bedroom door before entering the room. "Christina? I'm sorry."

"It's okay Tom. I know that you can forgive, it doesn't mean you can forget." Christina said as she laid there with her back to him with tears in her eyes.

"Christina I love you." he told her as he climb into bed wrapping his arm around her belly.

"I don't doubt your love for me. I love you too sweetie more then you know." She told him as she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	5. When Danger Knocks At The Door

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

********Chapter Five****

**When Danger Knocks At the Door**

Just Please Tell Me Why?

It was a Monday morning when Christina was sitting at her desk trying to give the pile of files on it her undivided attention but the babies were more active then they had ever been, as she tried to finish up the paperwork sitting in front of her she looked up to the sound of someone knocking on her door. "Come in" she called out as she laid the pen down and looked up to see Det. Antoine Ajayi entering the brightly lit room. "Oh God what are you doing here? And where is Yolanda at?" Christina asked in an apprehensive voice as she looked over at the door.

"Who is Yolanda and who are you looking for Christina?" Det. Ajayi asked wondering why she seemed so paranoid.

"Yolanda is my… never mind. I'm looking for Tom! I mean Dr. Wakefield he can't find you in here Antoine he knew that you where Nick's partner." She told him as she pulled herself up closer to the desk hoping that he hadn't notice that she was pregnant.

"Look I just came to give you something that Nicks brothers found his studio when they were cleaning out the house it was address to you, they asked me to bring it to you." He told her as he noticed the wedding ring that was now sitting back on her finger. It had been months since Nicks death, and he hadn't spoken to her. "How have you been Christina?" Antoine asked still wonder why she was acting so on edge.

"I'm fine really! I am, and thank you for coming and bringing me this, but I have a meeting in few minutes. Christina said as they both turned to the sound of her name. "Christina do you have that…?" Tom said as he walked into the office and seeing Antoine standing there.

"Oh God!" Christina muttered out softly, as Antoine turned and looked at her.

"Dr. Wakefield how are you?"

"I'm good. What are you doing here?" Tom asked as he looked over at Christina then back at him.

"I was just leaving; I just came to see how Christina was doing." Antoine said as he looked back at her. Christina looked at Tom then back at Antoine.

"Thank you again Antoine." Christina told him as she looked over at Tom knowing he was wondering what was going on.

"Okay." Antoine said as he gave them both a questionable look, "Dr. Wakefield both of you have a good day." He said as he turned still looking at them both oddly as he left the room.

"What was that all about Christina?"

"He just came to bring me this." She told him as she held up the letter. She looked up at him and noticed the questioning look on his eyes.

"What is that Christina?" he asked.

"I'm not exactly sure Tom its from Nick his brothers found is as they were cleaning out the house they asked Antoine to bring it to me." She stood up and walked over to where he was standing, kissing him softly on the lips as he placed his hand on her belly bump she opened the letter and they both read Nicks words.

_Dear Christina, _

_I don't know where to start, maybe I should just start by saying that I'm truly regretful please let me apologize for what I've done and I hope that some day you will be able to forgive me. I know that that's not enough for all that has been said and done. I know that there is nothing that I can say to you to justify my thoughtless actions you didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of them I'm sorry for all the hurt__**,**__ pain, and sorrow that I have caused you. I needed you to be a part of my life no matter what it took. The only problem was that I was willing to jeopardize anything and everything to get that even if it meant committing a crime, nothing else mattered to me except having you in my life even if that meant hurting you. I solicited the help of Jerry Brandon. I knew that he had a previous relationship with you through his wife, we had pulled him in on a few drug bust I offered him his revenge on you for getting his wife to leave him and getting a restraining order agents him, I wanted to be the hero in your eyes and I knew if you got hurt that I would be the one you'd call to handle it, I would be the one to protect you in a way that your husband couldn't, after Mr. Brandon attacked you I tracked him down at his hangout asked him to take a ride with me, and with no hesitation he did. I knew that I couldn't leave any loose ends so I took him out to an isolated place I knew and shot him wrapped his body in a tarp and hid it. _

_I did all this because I could see my universe inside you I made you my world, in you all things were possible for me. Christina all the things that I told you about how I feel, how I felt and how you make me feel, were true, you let me into your life as a friend and I took advantage of that, I took our friendship and you for granted and in your time of need I saw that I could have you in all the ways I wanted you. I had to be your saver the one you turned to the one to comfort you in mind, body and soul when your world was to much for you to handle, I had to be that strong force for you when everything and everyone else seemed impossible to deal with. I just wanted you so badly that I did whatever it took for you to know and realize that I was the one you needed to turn to, what I didn't realize was I could lose my entire being in you which I did I wanted to love you in the only way you deserved to be loved, and I thought that I was the one that could give you that but I didn't realize that I was destroying myself and you. I sit here living in darkness and I deserve it, it's a simple fact, I know loving you the way I loved you was wrong, and that I crossed the line, but I do love you, and I always will, I think about you everyday and night you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, the love that I have for you in my heart and soul will never die but I realize that you were never mine and that you would never be mine, so if I can't have you in life I will wait for you in death. _

_Nick._

Tom and Christina looked at each other and with tears in her eyes she said, "I am so sorry that I brought him into our lives". Tom wiped her tears away, "Christina, he is gone, he can no longer hurt us, I forgive you and just want to spend the rest of my life loving you". She kissed him, "I love you Tom".

**To Be Continued...**


	6. My Precious Gifts To You

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

********Chapter Six****

**My Precious Gifts To You**

It Was A Beautiful Thing

It had been a long week and after the extremely long and rough surgical case Tom had finally made it home to a sound sleeping Christina, he quietly went into the bathroom to take a quick shower before slipping into bed wrapping his arms around her, and kissing her softly on the curve of her neck.

"Hey! Your home." Christina said in a soft smile and whisper as she nestled herself into him slightly looking over her shoulder at him. "Long night sweetie?"

"Nah it wasn't to bad just really tired that's all. Hey Chris I think we need to talk."

Christina laid there for a second wondering what the hell did she do now. "We do?" Christina replied softly. "Tom what did I do now?" she asked in a concerned voice as she slowly turned onto her back and looked at him.

"Christina you didn't do anything sweetheart I was just thinking that maybe we could go away before the babies come if you feel up to it that's all, we both need some time away we could take this weekend maybe the week, we could go to the shores take a walk on the beach or something?"

"I would really like that." she replied as she softly caressed the side of his face before he leaned in kissing her softly again as they both laid in each others arms and drifted off to sleep.

Christina awoke the next morning a little more excited and enthusiastic then ever, they were going to take a weekend more like the whole week off together to spend some much needed time with each other it was something they both needed to do, they had both been so consumed with work and doctors appointments that they need to try and get to know each other and just not know each other. It had been over a year since they had gotten their lives some what back on track she was just at eight months and was schedule for a C-section in two weeks and Camille was due home from school the week before she was to go into the hospital. Christina was sitting in her office that morning doing her day to day paperwork when she stood up to get herself something to drink, as she took another step toward the table where the coffee pot sat, she grabbed her stomach with one hand and the table with the other, gripping it hard as she leaned over it, a sharp pain had hit her from one side of her abdomen to the other, she knew that this wasn't a normal contraction pain. "Oh God!" she cried out in a silent cry of pain, it was so painful that she could barely get the words out. She tried to move back toward her desk where her cell phone was sitting but the more she tried the more intense the pain got. "Yolanda." She called out but it came out in a whisper just then she heard a knock on the door and her name.

"Hey Christina you wanted to see me?" Bobbie asked as she walked further into the room, as she turned to her right she saw Christina doubled over in what seemed like excruciating pain she dropped what she was holding. "Yolanda! We need a wheel chair in here." Bobbie yelled out as she rushed over to her. "Christina are you okay are you in labor?" she shook her head.

"I don't know I just know something is seriously wrong." Christina barely said as the pain increased more. "Oh God! I feel something pulling." Christina cried out, the pain was so intense that she couldn't bring tears to her eyes, just then an orderly rushed into the room.

"We need to get her up to the labor and delivery now! Yolanda page them and tell them were coming up and call her OB." Bobbie said as she started down the hall behind the orderly.

"Yes ma'am." Yolanda called back.

"And find Dr. Wakefield stat!" she yelled back at her as she walked even faster to catching up with the orderly in the elevator. As they reached the fourth floor they got her into a room and some what settled in, when Christina started to cry out again, the pain was so excruciating that all she could do was put her body in the fetal position and pray.

"Ahh, Ahh God please, God please don't let me lose my babies. Why is this happening? Oh god! oh god! Something is seriously wrong." Christina screamed out as the pain intensified tenfold, she held her stomach in tears. "God please; please let them be okay I have put him through so much just let me give this to him." She kept saying in tears as she rocked back and forth in the fetal position, the pain was more then she could bear and not knowing what was going on with her babies was worse.

"Someone page Katayoun again! and get her over here and find Dr. Wakefield." Bobbie screamed out into the hallway as a nurse started coming her way.

"Dr. Wakefield is in surgery and Katayoun is on her way." The nurses said as she walked into the room to try and attach Christina and the babies up to the monitors, and no sooner did she say it Kat walked through the door.

"Christina, I'm here try and stay calm I know your in pain but try, I just need to check something." Kat said as she walked over by the nurse that was just finishing with attaching her and the babies up.

"Something is seriously wrong." Christina said behind tears.

"Kat what is it we both know this is not normal?" Bobbie whispered as she walked over next to her and watched as she read the print out on the babies and seeing the expression on her face.

"Its bad Bobbie. Christina, Christina you need to listen to me okay something is wrong and the babies are in extreme distress I know your in pain but we need to get you into an O.R. we need to get the babies out now." "Kat told her as she yelled out for some one to call and get them an O.R. ready.

Christina turned the best she could and looked at her, "I can't do this without Tom, Kat please he has to be there."

"Sweetie you may have to." Bobbie told her as she looked over at Kat. The nurse started to unhook things placing the portable monitor on the bed with Christina.

"Where is Tom?" Kat asked as they started to wheel her out of the room and down the hall.

"In surgery."

"Bobbie fine him now! do what you can to get him down here the twins are in serious distress and I can't wait that long to get them out." No sooner then she said it Bobbie took off in a hurry to find what O.R. Tom was in, as she made it down to the surgical room she stopped when she saw the scheduler.

"Hey! What O.R. is Dr. Wakefield in?" Bobbie asked as she looked behind her at Dr. Stone headed their way.

"He's in O.R. 2 there just wrapping up." She told her as Bobbie took off in the direction of the scrub room.

"Christina we need to put you under now sweetie we can't wait any longer." Kat told her as she nodded to the anesthesiologist to start.

"Kat please don't." Christina said as tears streamed down her face. "I need to see Tom first I can't do this with out him." She cried out, she wanted him to be the last and the first face she saw."

"Christina one more minute and then we need to do this." Kat told her as they all finished getting the room ready.

"Okay." She nodded her head and prayed that Bobbie found Tom in time.

"Tom? Thank God you're done its Christina you need to get to labor and delivery O.R. the babies are in serious distress Kat is trying to wait on you but you need to hurry." She told him out of breath as he pulls off the surgical gown and tossed it into the disposal bin. "What? Damn it!" was all he said before taking off like a bat out of hell for the elevators. "Come on damn it come on." he yelled out as he stood there for a second before heading for the stairs, all he could think about was if Christian and the babies were okay. As he reach the last step and flew through the door he headed straight for the room.

"Dr. Wakefield you can't go in there it's a sterilized room you need to scrub in first." The nurse yelled out. Tom turned and looked at her with anguish in his eyes before heading for the sink. He scrubbed in as quickly as he could he walked into the room as the nurse helped him with his gown hat and gloves he looked over at the anesthesiologist as he started to put her under.

"Kat wait! Christina I'm here sweetheart!" he ran over to her taking her hand into his. "I'm here baby and I love you."

"Tom you…" was all she said before the room went black.

"Okay she's under." The anesthesiologist said as Kat went to work fast to get the first baby out Tom sat there holding Christina's hand and kissing her forehead as he sat by her side and about ten minutes later Tom looked up and at Kat.

"Hey! Tom congratulations we have a girl." Kat said as she pulled her out and handed her to the neonatal doctor that was standing by waiting. "Sorry you didn't get to cut the cord."

"Its okay, Kat, Tomia (Mia for short) she not crying what's wrong with her?" Tom asked in a frantic voice as he started to move toward the neonatal doctor that took her.

"Tom give Dr. Smith time to work let them take care of her." And no sooner then Kat said it Tomia started to cry out, "see she fine just keep doing what your doing." Tom continued to hold Christina's hand but couldn't take his eyes out of the direction of Tomia and a few minutes later he looked over at Kat again.

"Here we go baby number two congratulations Tom we have a boy." She told him as she pulled Christopher out and a second later he was screaming like someone was hurting him. "This one has a set of lungs on him Tom." She told him as they both started to laugh she handed the baby over to the nurse that was waiting for him. "How is Tomia doing over there?" Kat asked as she went back to working on closing up Christina.

"She's doing great 4lb 3oz."

"And how is Christopher doing?"

"He's good 4lb even." Dr. Smith said as they finished up with them.

"Tom are you okay? You haven't said anything." Kat asked as she finished with Christina.

"Yeah! I'm good Kat, just watching my babies." Tom was exultant as he looked across the room at his twins as he continued to hold Christina's hand.

"Okay let's get Christina into recovery." She told them as they started to move her out of the O.R. as they entered the hallway Tom saw Bobbie, Steve, Brenda and Kelly standing there.

"Tom how is Christina and the twins doing?" They all said simultaneously.

"She's doing fine everyone and the twins are good their up in the nicu I need to go." Tom told them as he headed to the recovery room to sit with Christina.

Hours had went by as Christina started to come around she opened her eyes to see Tom standing next to her holding her hand and kissing her on the forehead.

"Hey you, welcome back." Tom smiled down at her with love in his eyes as he kissed her again.

"Tom?" she tried to say in a groggy voice.

"Shush... Sweetheart the twins are fine their beautiful." Tom told her knowing precisely what she wanted to know.

"Hey you, welcome back." Kat said as she entered the room grabbing the chart and making some notations on it. "Were going to move you up to a room in just a little bit okay." Christina looked at her and nodded her head before looking back over at Tom standing there like a proud father would.

"I love you Christina" he told her as he leaned in and kissed her one more time but this time on the lips.

With tears falling down the side of her face Christina replied, "I love you too, so much." She whispered as best she could.

They finally moved Christina up to a room, she would drift in and out of consciousness for the rest of the night due to the medication that they were giving her. Tom would sit with her through the night making sure that she was okay, as the sun peeked through the open blinds of the room Christina looked over to a sleeping Tom sitting in the over size chair, she smiled and thanked God that she was finally able to give him something of herself, to finally do something right by him.

"Good Morning!" Christina turned toward the door to see Kat walking through it. "Christina how are you feeling?" Kat softly asked as she entered into the room further and saw Tom sound asleep, she grab the chart and started to making some notations on it.

"I'm sore." Christina whispered.

"Your going to be sore for a while Christina but we've started you on a anti-inflammatory and pain medication I'll have them apply an ice pack to the incision to reduce the swelling.

"When can I sit up? I want to see my babies."

"Not yet Christina you need to stay like that a few more hours before trying to sit up or stand. After that we'll have you try and sit in the chair."

"Okay."

"Hey is everything okay?" Tom asked as he woke up a few seconds later, and was a little surprised to see Kat standing there.

"Yes everything is fine Tom, just going over a few things with Christina I want you to rest for the rest of the day and I'll see how your doing in the morning." Kat told her as she started to leave the room.

"I'll make sure she gets some more rest Kat."

"Okay Christina I'll see you tomorrow morning to check the incision rest, and Congratulations to the both of you." She told them as she left the room and closed the door behind her.

"Tom will you go and check on them and take some pic's I want to see them please."

"I will Christina but you need to get some rest sweetheart the babies are in good hands their doing fine I promise and I called Camille she coming home this weekend."

"Okay, Tom I hope your not planning on staying here with me?"

"Christina I'm not leaving you or our babies."

"Why you love me so much I will never understand."

"There is nothing to understand I will always love you no matter what and you have giving me the best gifts one can give another person, you have giving me my pride and joys three beautiful kids thank you." Tom told her as he leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips

With tears now running down her face she stared into his green eyes "Tom if you didn't know already you're my heart and soul and without you I'm only half a person I love you and always will love you."

"I know Christina and you are mine."

**To Be Continued...**


	7. Opportunity Only Knocks Once

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

****Chapter Seven****

Two months after the birth of their twins.

**Opportunity Only Knocks Once**

The grass is always greener

They had finally finished the new wing of the cancer research center and everything was going according to plans. It was early that morning when Christina went to the main lobby, she was to meet up with one of the new cancer and research doctors, normally Tom would be the one to handle this considering he was the head of oncology but due to an unforeseen issue with one of his patients he was called into emergency surgery. As Christina entered the room and walked across the floor to the receptionists she paused for a second with an uneasy feeling she brushed it off and continued on to the front desk. "Hey Mary Dr. Wakefield is expecting a new doctor this morning can you page me when they arrive please?"

"Yes he called down this morning, and she's all ready here, I was just about to call your office." Mary told her as she nodded her head in the direction of where the doctor was sitting. Christina turned her head and looked across the room at what seemed to be a tall, fair skinned brunette with curly shoulder length hair dressed in a white pants suit, she was sitting in one of the uncomfortable waiting room chairs. "Thank you Mary." Christina said as she turned her body completely around and walked toward where she was sitting, "Dr. Jessica Bourjois?" Christina smiled. "I hope that I pronounced your last name correctly."

"Yes you did bonjour." The doctor said as she looked up from what she was doing to see Christina standing in front of her.

"Good! Hi I'm Christina Hawthorne COO here, and I would like to welcome you to James River, you're French?" Christina asked as she extended her hand and gave her another smile.

"Yes I am and Thank you." she replied as she stood up and extended her hand and shook Christina's

"I'm sorry, I know that Dr. Wakefield was supposed to meet you but he was called back into surgery so you have me."

"That's fine thank you for meeting me."

"Your welcome why don't we head up to my office…." Christina paused for a second and took a look at her watch. "Dr. Wakefield should be finishing up soon and he can give you a tour of the new facilities.

"Sounds great thank you." Jessica replied as she followed Christina across the lobby to the elevator, Christina pushed the button as she heard the sound of her name.

"Christina?" Christina turned to see Bobbie coming from the opposite direction she was facing, "I was just on my way up to see you I needed to give you this."

"Thank you, umm…Dr. Bourjois this is Nurse Bobbie Jackson she's our CNO here at James River, Bobbie this is Dr. Jessica Bourjois she's one of the new doctors working in the cancer and research lab. Dr. Bourjois if it wasn't for Nurse Jackson here," Christina smiled giving Bobbie credit for all the hard work she had done on raising money for the new research center. "We wouldn't have a cancer and research center here at James River." Jessica smiled, "then I guess I owe my position here to you. Thank you." Bobbie smiled and looked over at Christina then back at the new doctor. "Your welcome, okay I better get back to work I'll talk with you later Christina will you go over that and get back to me?" Christina nodded her head and smiled. "And again it was nice meeting you Dr. Bourjois I hope you like it here at James River."

"It was nice meeting you to and I'm sure I will." She replied as Bobbie smiled again before walking off and turning the corner headed for the ER. Christina pushed the button again on the elevator, as the doors open they both stepped in and a few floors later and what seemed like endless hallways they were finally at Christina's office. "Please have a seat; can I get you something to drink?" Christina offered as she started to grab the phone to see if Yolanda was back at her desk. "No thank you I'm fine." Jessica answered and for the next twenty minutes she and Christina would sit and talk until the knock on her door. "Come in." she called out and a second later Tom was standing in front of them. "Tom hey umm… This is Dr. Jessica Bourjois, Dr. Bourjois this is Dr. Thomas Wakefield our head of oncology and our O.R department."

"Dr. Bourjois it's nice to finally meet you in person, your reputation precedes you." Tom replied as he held out his hand and shook hers. "So does you're Dr. Wakefield and its nice meeting you as well." Christina stood there for a second taking notice of the way he was looking at her, and how after a few seconds they were still holding hands it took her back to the time they first meet and that uneasy feeling that Christina was having just about an hour ago was back she felt the attraction between them, she watched as Dr. Bourjois slowly pulled her hand out of his. "So I guess a tour of the new facilities would be a good idea now?" Christina asked as her pager started to go off she looked down and it was something that she couldn't ignore she wasn't sure she wanted to leave Dr. Bourjois alone with Tom she trusted her husband but she just had an odd feeling about her. "I'm sorry I need to handle this Dr. Bourjois I'm sorry I can't join you on the tour." Christina said as she stood up and walked around Tom rubbing him softly on the back as she did. Jessica smiled and looked from Tom to Christina then back to Tom. "I'm sorry too but I'm sure you're leaving me in good hands. It was a pleasure meeting you." Christina looked over at Tom and shoots him a you better watch yourself around her look. "Again It was nice meeting you and welcome to James River, and Tom I'll see you tonight." Christina said it more as a statement then a question. Tom nodded his head in agreement. "Seven o'clock." They had dinner reservations Kelly had offered to watch the twins for a few hours to give them a much needed break and some time alone.

As Christina and Tom sat at the table of the little Italian restaurant she glanced over at him.

"So what do you think of the new doctor?" Christina asked Tom as she picked up her glass of wine and took a sip. "She's okay." Tom smiled as he replied before taking another bite of his food he detected a little of Christina's green eyed monster rearing her ugly little head it wasn't often that it happened but he thought it was kind of cute when it did. "She's just okay that's not the impression I got this afternoon as I watched you two making googly eyes at each other in my office." she replied as she rolled her eyes at him and looked around the room. "Com on Christina you know I only have googly eyes for you," he looked up and made a funny face at her, she smiled into a slight laugh at him before taking another sip of her wine. "Yeah okay." Tom smiled at her, Christina sat there thinking after all that she had done and put him through did she really have the right to be jealous. "You have nothing to worry about, I just admire her work that's all, she done substantive's research regarding leukemia over the years she has been regarded as an expert in the field. She studies the molecular changes in genes that lead to cancer. She's particularly interested in the early changes of malignancy and how they might serve as targets for new treatment and preventive agents. Did you know she discovered a number of cancer-related genes and revealed a variety of mutated genes that are involved in leukemia's, and lymphomas and other cancers? Her findings greatly expanded a new understanding of cancer and the process of programmed cell death, and provided important tools for better patient management." Christina just looked at him as he went on and on she loved his passion for his field and once he got started on cancer research there was no stopping him it was the praising of her that was getting to her. "Ugh… and all of that at the tender age of thirty eight." Christina muttered under her breath as she sat back in her chair wine glass in hand. "Did you say something sweetheart?" Christina smiled politely. "No baby I didn't, I'm just listening I love how excited you get about new treatment and research options."

**His Joy Is My Pain.**

Out of the dark and into the light.

It had been ten months, and the twins were doing great they had just started walking and between them and her job as COO Christina was working over time still trying to balance it all, it didn't seem like there where enough hours in the day, she knew that she had been neglecting Tom in more ways then one and she felt him pulling away from her.

"Hey your home early? I cooked if your hungry, I can make you a plate if you like?" Christina asked as she picked up Christopher to retrieve what he had just stuck in his mouth. The twins where on the floor playing with there toys when she saw him put something into his mouth.

"Thanks sweetheart sounds good." Tom replied as he tossed his keys onto the side table and walked over to where her and the twins where.

"Here Christopher go to daddy." she handed Christopher to him as she kissed him on the forehead and then giving Tom a soft kiss on the lips that she thought he kind of backed away from, she paused and looked at him for a second. "Give me a few minutes." she told him as she made her way into the kitchen to warmed him up a plate after a few minutes she started back into the dining room as she sat his plate and beer on the table she heard his cell phone. "Is that important? You don't have to leave do you?" she asked with concern in her voice.

"No Christina its nothing." he told her as she started to eat.

"Good maybe after I bathe the kids and put them down we can watch a movie or something?" she asked him as she stood there waiting for him to answer, she missed her husband she knew things hadn't been great between them since the twins were born. After getting off of maternity leave and going back to work she spent her days dealing with the hospital and her nights dealing with the twins, it had taken longer then she had expected to get them into a routine its harder when your dealing with two babies and Tom didn't seem to understand that, which didn't leave much time for him when he was home.

"I'd like that sweetheart." Tom told her as he looked over at her and his kids.

Christina smiled at him as she took the twins by the hands and started walking them toward the hallway Tom sat there and watched her as they disappeared into the back room he sat there thinking to himself how could he be doing this to her two wrongs didn't make a right. Guilt was eating him up in the past six months he had found himself attracted and spending more and more time with a doctor that worked over in the cancer research center and less time at home. He didn't know what to do Christina just didn't seem to have any time for him if she wasn't dealing with the twins she was dealing with the hospital and vice versa and when she wasn't she was always to tired for anything, he missed his wife he knew that he was being selfish, his work day was always longer then hers was and she was dealing with the twins by herself on a daily bases, he knew he had to end this he just wasn't sure how at this point he was to far in, he was drowning on dry land. Tom finished his food and walked over to the sofa he took a seat and leaned back into it trying to figure a way out of the predicament that he had gotten his family into.

About thirty minutes later Christina returned and took a seat on the sofa next to him, "I see you started without me." he looked at her and smiled. "Sorry it took so long I don't think Mia is feeling well she was a little fussy tonight."

"its okay Christina I was just sitting here watching a little sports center and thinking that's all." he told her as he wrapped his arms around her pulling her into him, "I love you Tom." she whispered as she twisted around and straddled his lap kissing him softly on the neck then moving slowly over to the bottom of his ear biting down gently on it. "baby I know that we haven't spent a lot of time together and I'm sorry its all my fault but I promise you I'll do better." she whispered again as she continued to kiss him and unbuttoning his shirt then working her way down to his pants undoing his belt. "I love you too Christina and its not your fault." he told her as his hands stroked her bare hips and thighs and working his way up under her shirt to her waist then back down to her hips pulling her into him as he kissed the curve of her neck. "God you feel good Christina." He mumbled against her lips, as he felt himself getting more aroused and pulling her into him even more. "Tom make love to me." she told him eagerly wanting to feel ever inch of him, he pulled her shirt over her head and unlatched her bra and pulling it off. "Christina wait." he pushed her back just a bit resting his forehead against hers. "baby we should take this into the bedroom," she nodded her head as he lifted them from the couch with her still in his arms she wrapped her body around his as he carried her into the bedroom and laid her softly on the bed, she wanted him more then she had every wanted him, the soft warm touch of his hands on her body was driving her insane, she ran her hands across his shoulder pulling his shirt off tossing it to the side, she finished undoing his belt then unsnapping and unzipping his pants, he stood up and finished undressing her as well as himself. He moved her up into the middle of the bed and placed himself in between her thigh's she closed her eyes as he started to kiss her hard and passionately prying her lips open slipping his tongue into her mouth, she could feel how aroused he was, as he slowly started to enter her she bit her bottom lip with anticipation, she moaned out in pleasure until she heard the sound of Mia's crying coming through the baby monitor she sighed and stopped what she was doing. "Tom stop." Christina told him as she tried to move as Mia's crying got louder.

"Christina she's ok for a few minutes, let her cry baby please I need you." he told her as he continued what he was doing. "Tom stop it! I told you she wasn't feeling good I need to see about her before they both wake up." she replied as she pushed him off of her making it to her feet and grabbing her robe. "damn it! Christina that's the third time this week." he yelled just as she walked out the room, he picked up the baby monitor and throw it against the wall before going and taking a cold shower. Christina spent the next few hours tending to Mia's fever and trying to get the twins back to sleep when she walked back into their bedroom she saw the baby monitor in pieces on the floor and a sound sleeping Tom, she shock her head and just picked up the mess. She didn't understand what was going on with him all she knew was that something was wrong and she didn't know how to fix it. He was already gone when she got up the next morning she went about her normal routine of getting the kids ready for daycare she had decided to try and talk to Tom over lunch about what was bothering him.

Christina walked over to Tom's office to see if he was able to have lunch since he was rarely ever in his office it had been a while since she had been there. As she approach his assistant's desk she started to get an uneasy feeling at the way she was looking at her, "hey Margo is he in?" Christina asked and Margo just looked at her in an odd way, "Its Wednesday Christina he's not here he won't be back until later this afternoon." Christina stood there for a second before playing it off, "I must be really tired if I'm skipping days I could have swore it was Thursday thanks Margo."

"your welcome. Christina do you want me to tell Dr. Wakefield you stopped by?" Margo asked as she took noticed of the expression on Christina's face, she knew at that moment Christina had no clue to what her husband was doing on Wednesdays.

"No Margo, I'll just call him thank you." Christina replied as she smiled turned and headed back down the hallway wondering what she was missing. Christina walked down to the ER she wanted to see if Tom's car was in the parking lot she had called and texted him after talking with Margo and for some reason not to her surprise he didn't respond to any of them.

"Hey have you guys seen Tom?" Christina asked as she walked into the ER and seeing Bobbie and Gail standing at the nurse's station going over something.

"No." they both replied as they continued on with what they were doing.

"Do you want me to page him for you Chrissie?" Bobbie asked noticing the worried look on her face before pointing something out to Gail.

"No but thanks." she called back as she walked out the double doors headed for the parking lot but stopped as she noticed Tom and a brunette getting into his car. Christina stood there for a few minutes and watched as they drove away she didn't know what to think or what was going on but before the day was over she was going to get to the bottom of it, she turned around and walked back inside in a daze more like disbelief at what she had just saw had this been going on right under her nose had she been so involved in work that she didn't notice that Tom was leaving the hospital on Wednesdays. As she started to pass Bobbie and Gail again she heard her name.

"Hey! Christina." she turned and looked in the direction of Bobbie and Gail. "Are you okay? Did you find Tom?"

"Yeah in a way Bobbie I did." she replied in a desponded voice as she walked passed them turning the corner headed back up to her office. Bobbie looked at Gail as they both took even more notice of the tone of her voice and the expression she had on her face. Bobbie stood there for a few minutes wondering if she should inquire about what was going on with her and Tom. They had gotten their friendship back on track but talked very little about their personal life she didn't want to pry but it looked like Christina needed a friend and she still wanted to be there for her. Bobbie finished up what she was doing in the ER and headed up to Christina's office.

Christina was sitting at her desk trying to give the paperwork and the pile of files on it her undivided attention but the more she tried the more upset she got, she had texted and called him again several times and he still wasn't answering any of them, she folded her arms across her desk and lowered her head on it. She laid there for a few minutes the thoughts that she had been having that Tom maybe having an affair started to play in her head there was something wrong in their marriage again for the last six month Tom had been spending more time at the hospital so she thought and coming home later then normal. As tears started to form and roll from her eyes and down her face she lifted her head at the knock on her door. Christina wiped her eyes and sat up straight. "Come in." she called out and to her surprise it was Bobbie standing in front of her she was actually happy to see her she had missed their girl talks and was hoping that some day they could reclaim that part of their relationship.

"Christina?" Bobbie said as she walked over and took a seat across form her desk and looked at Christina she could clearly see that she had been crying. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah! I'm good. Did you need something?" she replied in a soft all most non-existence voice.

"No!" Bobbie shook her head more curious now then ever at what was going on with her. "I don't need anything, but I am worried about you I came to see if you were okay."

"I'm good really Bobbie, and thank you. I just have a lot on my mind that's all."

"I'm guessing it has a lot to do with Tom?"

Christina sat there for a minute as she gave Bobbie an odd look wondering what she knew, in the past two years Tom and Steve had became really close friends, and if anyone knew if he was cheating Steve would. Christina sat there for a few more minutes debating if she should say something or not she really needed someone to talk to but she didn't want to be judged after everything that she had done to Tom, she didn't know how Bobbie was going to react but it was a chance she was willing to take. "I think he's having an affair." it came out in almost a whisper, she was thinking it and before she knew it, it had slipped pass her lips. Bobbie looked at her in a way that she had never seen before; Bobbie went straight to judging her she could feel it.

"What?" Bobbie responded in a tone of disbelief, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Christina was sitting there thinking that Tom would betray his love for her like she had done to him. "Tom wouldn't do that to you Christina he loves you." Bobbie said in a firm voice. Christina sat there listening to her defend Tom and taking notice of Bobbie's body language Christina knew that Bobbie was thinking that she was the only one that would mess up like that, Christina looked away for a second as a tear rolled down her face she gathered her thoughts, she knew that Tom was human and we all make mistakes even him, she turned back and looked at her in all most a child like way.

"Your right Bobbie he would never do that." and at that moment Christina realized that sharing their personal lives the way they use to was out of the question.

**To Be Continued...**


	8. The Truth Will Hurt Us Both

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

****Chapter Eight****

**The Truth Will Hurt Us Both. **

Torn but not completely apart.

Dr. Jessica Bourjois, feeling that she'd done enough for the day, smiled and waved her hand to her co-workers. "Have a nice day; ladies and gentlemen I'm heading home." It was Wednesday and for the last six months she would only work a half-day. As she made it down to the underground parking lot she noticed that she not only had one flat tire but two, she flipped open her cell to call the auto club and a tow. After she made one more call, she smiled when she saw him coming out of the building and walking in her direction. "I know that I was supposed to meet you there but as you can see I have no wheels." she stated as they both started laughing. "What happened?" "I'm not really sure, I came out and it was like this. I've called the auto club and a tow they should be here in a few minutes; can I get a ride home before we head to the restaurant? Or we can just pick up something on the way and eat at my place." Jessica said as she took notice of the expression on his face. "That's fine with me as soon as the tow gets here…" no sooner as he started to say it the man pulled up.

"Please make yourself at home. I'll be right back." Jessica told him as they walked into her apartment and she disappeared into another room. It was the first time that Tom had been there; their Wednesday lunches had always taken place in some little Italian bistro or something. Tom took a seat on the sofa and wondered what he was doing there, as Jessica came back from the other room dressed in a pair of boy shorts and a tank top Tom knew that he was in trouble. "I hope you don't mind that I changed? I'll get some plates." Tom just looked at her and didn't reply he was more concerned as to how he was going to get out of the predicament he had just found himself in, and a few seconds later Jessica returned from the kitchen with two plates and two wine glasses, and took a seat on the sofa next to him.

"She going to leave me when she finds out." Tom muttered as he leaned back into the sofa running his hands over his face knowing what he was doing was wrong. Jessica looked over at him a little perplexed as she nibbled on the end of a piece of Italian bread.

"Why? were not doing anything wrong, were just friends hanging out." Jessica smiled and tossed her hair back as she tried to pour a little more wine in his glass. "No thank you, I think that I've had enough. I still have to go back to work." he told her as he pushed her hand away from his glass.

Jessica looked at him she knew that she wanted him and they had so much in common it was unbelievable, she had never met a person or a doctor of his caliber and if things go the way she planned in the next few minutes she would consider the first part of becoming Mrs. Thomas Wakefield complete.

"What are you so worried about? We haven't done anything." She was thinking "**yet"** in the back of her mind.

"I know but she's not going to see it that way I have been spending more time with you then her and even my kids."

"I'm sorry. Tom it's not my intention to keep you from your kids?" Jessica said as she sat the food, she was holding down and rubbed his arm softly as she leaned over and kissed him on the lips. Tom fell into the moment; he wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her into him slowly as she straddled his lap and started to unbutton his shirt. Tom could feel himself getting more aroused and pulling her in closer to him, he pulled the tank she was wearing off and caressed her bare body. "Make love to me Tom." she whispered in his ear feeling his bare chest against hers was making her more exited, she was impatiently wanting more.

"Jessica stop we can't do this I like being with you but I can't have it both ways I can't do this to my kids."

"Tom I'm not asking you to leave your wife and kids. I like being with you, I want to be with you, I want to give you what you need."

"I should go before I take this further then I should, I want you Jessica I do but..." Tom said as he moved her off of his lap and stood up buttoning his shirt. "I'm sorry Jessica I truly am but I do love my wife."

"I know Tom and its okay I'm here when you want me, when your ready." Tom looked at her he knew that if he was willing she would give him anything he wanted. "We'll talk later I promise." he told her as he turned around and left the room.

Christina stood in the doorway of Tom's office, staring at him as he sat on the sofa giving something in his hands his undivided attention he was so engrossed in it that he didn't even notice her standing there. "Hey! Do you have a few minutes to talk?" Tom paused for a minute at the sound of her voice before he looked up from what he was doing. "Yeah I have a few minutes, how long have you been standing there?" he asked as he stood up and walked over toward his desk. "Not that long." she walked further into the room and closed the door behind her. "Tom what's going on? I have been calling, and texting you all day you haven't answered any of them, why?"

"I've been busy Christina." he told her as he riffled through some things on his desk avoiding eye contact with her.

"Busy? You were to busy to call me back, but you weren't to busy to leave the hospital this afternoon? With some woman in your car. Tom how long has this been going on?" Tom stopped what he was doing and looked up at her with a blank expression on his face. "Who is she Tom?"

"Christina nothing is going on there is no one, and its not what you think, I was just giving Dr. Bourjois a ride after she found her tires flat that's all."

"Tom please don't do that?"

"Do what Christina? Tom asked as he walked back over to the sofa and took another seat.

"Tom please don't sit there and insult my intelligence by acting like you don't know what I'm talking about."

"I'm not Christina, and I don't know what your talking about."

"Please just be a man and tell me the truth I'm a big girl."

"Christina please just drop this there it nothing going on."

"Then why didn't you call me back? Tom if I had pulled this you would be all over me." Tom just looked at her and didn't say anything his guilt was eating him up he should just be a man and tell her but he was afraid of losing her. "So you're not going to answer me?"

"Christina what? What is that you want me to say?"

"I want the truth, Tom I just want to know what's going on, baby your pulling away from me and I just want to know why."

"Fine Christina you want to know what's going on with me? it's everything, its every damn thing in our lives," Tom stood back up and walked back across the room. "Every time I try to get next to you or be with you have a conversation with you it's always something if its not work it's the kids or something else." Christina paused for a second she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "I don't believe you. Seriously Tom! You're pissed at me because of last night? You act like I had some kind of control over that."

"I didn't say you did Christina but three times in one week what would you think?"

"I would think we had kids a family something you wanted." Christina said as she stood there thinking that there was more to this then he was saying. "Tom what is it that your not telling me? Because there is more to this." Tom just stood there with his head down. "Look at me." Christina all but yelled at him. Tom looked up at her, his face was full of guilt and Christina could see it all over him. "Just tell me Tom are you having an affair?" Tom looked at her as she said it. "That's your department Christina." Christina paused and shot him a what the hell look as shock registered on her face. She knew in the back of her mind that he had never really forgiven her for what she done but this was the second time he had thrown it up in her face. "Okay I get it." she said as tears started to fall from her eyes she wiped her tears turned around and walked out of his office. Tom sat down at his desk. "Damn it" he muttered he swore to himself that he would never do that again to her. He knew that she had been trying hard to make their marriage work but between work and the kids there just wasn't enough time for him and that wasn't her fault he knew that he could be a little more patient and helpful instead he was being selfish.

Christina made it back to her office, she hadn't felt this so alone in a long time Camille was off at school she didn't want to worry her but she really needed to hear her voice, Camille and the twins were the only things in her life right now that brought her any kind of joy. She sat there debating on if she should call Camille or not. As she ran her hands over her face her office phone started to ring, Christina took a deep breath and picked it up. "This is Christina." she answered as the voice on the other end started to speak, "Mr. Collins hello sir how are you?" Christina asked and paused for a second as he spoke. "How can I help you today?" she asked him as he started to tell her why he was calling, "yes sir I know they are, but…okay, but still…" Christina sat there and listened intensely at what the man had to say not being able to get more then a few words in here and there. "Sir I understand that and I assure you that I will take care of it. Okay but…yes sir I know but still I…and at that moment she heard a knock at her door, she pulled the phone away from her ear for just a second. **"**Come in" she called out to the person on the other side. "If there are any changes to it I will be sure to let you know." She told him as Yolanda handed her a folder. "Yes I will be attending the meeting tomorrow," she smiled and nodded at Yolanda as she pulled the phone away from her ear again. "Thank you" she whispered as her secretary turned and left the room, "Yes sir, yes I know thank you sir for calling me and you have a good day to. Good bye." and with that she hung up the phone, she reclined back in her chair placing her hands over her face again. Christina closed her eyes and sighed, she needed something to end the pounding migraine that she was now feeling, she sat there for the rest of the day doing her best to get some of the paperwork done but it was no use her mind wasn't on it, she couldn't seem to concentrate worrying herself to death and wondering what the hell was going on with her husband. She finally decided to call it a day she finished up with one more thing before making it to her feet and gathered her things she turned off her lights and headed for the main lobby.

**Why Can't You Fight for Me? **

I'm only human.

Christina finally made it home with the twins in toe it had been one heck of a day all she wanted was to take a hot bath and climb into bed but her day wasn't over yet, it was well after six when she walked into the house she still needed to feed, bathe and put the twins down for the night it was something she had gotten use to in the last six months. Tom was rarely home by nine and when he was there he wasn't. Christina let the twins hands go as she tossed her keys onto the side table and dropped the bags by the door she walked over to the sofa and just sat there and watched as her babies played, Christina leaned back into the sofa and just started to weep. "Okay Christina get a grip." she said to herself as Mia picked up one of her toys and wobbled to her feet to bring it to her. "Thank you sweet pea." Christina said as she kissed her daughter on the forehead and hugged her tight as tears fell from her eyes she put Mia back down wiped her eyes and stood to her feet. "Okay you two its time to eat." she told them as she took them both by the hand and headed into the kitchen she placed them both in there high chairs and fixed them something to eat. It was a little after eight when she finally finished up with the twins she was just about to put them down for the night when she looked over and saw Tom walk through the door he tossed his keys in the dish and headed over to where she and the twins where sitting. "Christina we need to talk." she looked up at him, "I agree I was just about to put the twins down for the night would you help me?" he looked at her then over at his kids he picked up Mia and watched as she picked up Christopher and they headed to the back. After putting the kids down Tom headed back into the living room he took a seat on the sofa and waited for Christina. She grabbed the baby monitor and headed back toward the front room she stopped at the doorway when she heard his phone ring and then heard him talking, she stood there and listened to his conversation. "Hey I can't talk tonight I need to spend some time with her and my kids. I know but I have to go we will talk tomorrow okay." he said as he hung up the phone and leaned back into the sofa wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into, he lifted his head from the sofa as Christina rounded the corner. "I had forgotten how much work it was to get them two down for the night." Christina just looked at him, "I bet considering that you haven't done it in months." "Look Christina I'm sorry I haven't been here to help you with the kids." "Who was that on the phone Tom?" Christina asked as she took a seat in the chair that was sitting diagonal to the sofa. "It was the hospital Christina." Christina looked at him in disbelief that he was sitting in her face and still lying to her, "you know what Tom you're a liar you really think I'm that stupid don't you? that I don't see now what the hell is going on?" she yelled. "Christina please keep your voice down your going to wake the twins." "Oh now your concerned about your kids? Go to hell!" she told him as she looked over at him. "And I haven't lied to you Christina." he yelled back as he scooted to the edge of the sofa with a guilt-ridden look on his face. "Just leave it alone Christina." "Like hell I will, just be a man about it and tell me your having an affair? For the last two years I have been walking around on eggshells praying that I didn't do anything to mess this up, to piss you off but you know what Tom I'm tired. I'm going to ask you the same damn question you asked me do you love her? What can she give you that I can't? and I know its not kids because I went through hell to give you a family something you wanted and in the past six months I find myself doing it all, you don't even have time for them." "Christina don't do this, don't do this to yourself." he yelled as he stood and walked across the room not knowing what to say to her. "Don't do this to myself, just answers the damn question are you having an affair? Tom just looked at her, and the look on his face told her everything she needed to know. "Who is she Tom? Is it Dr. Bourjois?" Tom looked at her with remorse in his eyes. "Does it matter Christina?" he said as he took a seat on the sofa again. "I guess not Tom. I guess none of it matters any more. Just tell me why? Is it because I haven't spent enough time with you? Or are you trying to hurt me?" he looked up at her. "Enough time Christina, I can't get any of your time this is the most time I've spent with you in the last six months." "Tom we have two kids at home my day doesn't stop at five I have to come home and take care of two screaming kids, what is it that you want from me?" she screamed at him. "I want you to FIGHT for me Christina like you fight for everything else in your life prove to me that you love me unconditionally." Christina paused and looked at him she couldn't believe that he was so damn selfish she walked over to the fireplace and took a deep breath. "You want me to fight for you Tom? Okay! I'll fight for you for better or worse." She told him as she walked out of the living room and down the hall, he sat on the sofa with his head down and a second later he heard the door to their bedroom close.

**Knowledge Is My Power.**

I can only take so much.

Christina got up that next morning and went through her normal routine of getting herself and the kids ready for the day, she cleaned them up dressed them and comb their hair, she took them both by the hands and walked them into the living room where she saw Tom sitting up and wiping the sleep out of his eyes. He had spent the night on the sofa. "Good morning Christina." Tom said in a soft voice as he looked at his twin. "Tom." was all she said, Tom looked up at her then back down at the twins. "Hey you two come here, can daddy have a hug?" Christina let the twins hands go and they wobbled over to where he was sitting, he took them into his arms and hugged them as tight as he could without hurting them as he kissed them both on the forehead. Christina stood there for a few second taking notice of the display of affection he was giving his kids she knew that he loved them she just wasn't so sure he still loved her. "Okay you two its time to go give daddy another hug and kiss so we can go bye, bye." she told them in a nonchalant way as she grabbed her keys and the bags. "Christina I can take them to the daycare today if you want me to?" Tom told her as he stood up to help her. "Its okay Tom I got it, its not like I haven't been a single parent for the last six months." she told him as she took the kids by the hands and headed for the door. "Christina, I'm sorry." Christina looked at him as she opened the door. "I know. You're a sorry..." and before she could get the rest of it out she heard. "mama."

Tom stood there he really didn't know what to say she was right in the past six months he hadn't spent anytime with the twins, he hadn't even tried to help her in anyway. He walked back over to the sofa and sat there thinking to himself how could he have done this. He was being a selfish bastard, and his reasons for doing what he was doing was also selfish, she had given him three beautiful kids and had went through pure hell having the twins. Tom sat there just a little longer before he headed to the back to get ready for work he knew that what he was doing had to end and it had to end today.

Christina got the kids settled into there car seats and headed for the hospital. As she came to the onramp she merged left and pulled onto I-95 as the radio played **Halo** she started to sing along with the words. _Remember those walls I built…Well, baby they're tumbling down…And they didn't even put up a fight…They didn't even make up a sound…I found a way to let you in…But I never really had a doubt…Standing in the light of your halo… I got my angel now… It's like I've been awakened…Every rule I had you breakin'…It's the risk that I'm takin'…I ain't never gonna shut you out…_as the song continued to play all she could do was think about Tom and how the words started to play on her heart. She finally made it to the daycare and dropped the twins off. She drove around to the other side of the hospital and parked in her spot. Christina sat there for a few minutes going over everything in her head, how did they get back to this point. She loved him and she wasn't going to give up on them that easy, she realized what she had to do. As she made it up to her office she put her things away took care of a few things before heading to her morning meeting, when she was done she walked over to the new wing of the hospital, as she reached the double glass doors of the research lab she saw Dr. Bourjois inside, she was standing over a table scribbling something onto a note pad just before she tucked her dark hair behind her ear and leaned forward to look through a microscope. Christina paused for a second and entered the room. "Dr. Bourjois I'm not sure if you remember me but may I have a word with you please?" Jessica looked up from what she was doing to see Christina standing next to her. "Christina? Right." she said in an upbeat voice. Christina nodded her head to confirm it. "Sure I have a few minutes. How can I help you?" she asked in a pleasant voice as she looked around the room to see other doctors looking at them with curiosity. "Umm…Maybe we should take this into my office." Christina looked at her before turning and looking at the other doctors that were still observing them. "I think that's a good idea." Christina told her as she followed her across the room to a room with glass walls and door. "Please have a seat." Christina just looked at her with a half smile. "No thank you, what I have to say wont take that long. "Okay." Dr. Bourjois said as she stood there waiting to find out what this was all about. "I'll just come to the point leave my husband alone, I don't know what Tom told you about our marriage but I'm letting you know that I'm not going any where and I really don't want this to get ugly but if you make me, I will take it there I'll tell you like I told him for better or worse and just to let you know just in case he didn't tell you, I don't back down from a fight I will make his life and yours a living hell if I have to." Dr. Bourjois stood there with an odd look on her face and shaking her head for a second. "Wait a minute your married to Tom." she said in a surprised voice, Christina looked at her and chuckled. "Am I really suppose to believe that you didn't know that I was Tom's wife let me explain something to you, the games your playing I have already played so you can save the innocent routine with me." she told her as she gave her another half smile, "really Christina, I'm sorry I didn't know that Tom was married to you and he hasn't told me anything about your marriage. Christina there is nothing going on with me and Tom were just friends." Christina smiled at her again and just looked at her in disbelief. "Well your friendship ends here and now, and who are you trying to convince me or yourself, please don't stand there and insult my intelligence I'm not stupid just stay away from him or he wont be the only one suffering consequences." As Christina leaves the Cancer Research Center she see's Tom heading her way. As he approached her she stops and looks back at the double doors, when she turned back around he was right in front of her, she placed her hand on his chest. "you wanted me to fight, I'm fighting." Tom looks a head and see's Jessica standing there taking notice of their interaction. He knew what he had to do, he turned around and followed Christina back down the hall, leaving Jessica to wonder, if she would ever have his heart, jealously was creeping in and she didn't like it. She was used to being in control and it was clear this fight was not going to be easy. She wasn't used to losing and she wasn't going to lose Tom, not even to his wife.

**To Be Continued...**


	9. Temptation Runs Deep

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

****Chapter Nine ****

**Temptation Runs Deep**

Moment of truth

Christina couldn't believe it was only two days before Mia and Christopher's first birthday. She was excited about Camille returning home for the twin's first birthday party. They had not spent much time together as a family and she was going to enjoy this long weekend with all of them. Her and Tom were doing better these days, and tonight she was anticipating a quiet evening at home. Even though she knew that Tom was on call that evening, and their quite evening could change at any moment. She had ordered a pizza and it arrived a few minutes before Tom came home. She figured they could have pizza, popcorn and watch a movie, and than play other games.

Christina had just put the twins to bed and was setting plates on the coffee table when Tom walked through the door. "Hi Sweetie", Christina said as she met him halfway across the room. She leaned up and kissed him. He grabbed her closer to him, and kissed her deeply. He had been thinking about being with her all day long. He whispered, "I want you Christina". She separated from him, with a sly smile and said, "But I have pizza waiting for us". "You know I love cold pizza", he said with a laugh. He swept her off her feet and took her into the bedroom laying her down on the bed. She didn't argue or put up a fight with him, she laid there and slowly let him undress her, it was something he really liked to do, she scooted up to the middle of the bed as he softly and passionately kissed every inch of her body, not missing a spot. He laid on top of her, she ran her hand gently across his face, as her body enjoyed all the pleasures he was giving her and praying that the twins wont wake up. As their bodies moved to the same rhythm neither one of them could control their pleasure and they both wore out at the same time. Tom looked down at Christina and kissed her gently wrapping his arms around her as they faded off to sleep, forgetting about the pizza in the other room.

Tom was in such a deep sleep two hours after his blissful time with Christina, that if it wasn't for her he would have never heard his pager. "Tom, sweetie it's your pager," she said in a drowsy voice as she nudged him with her elbow. Tom wrapped his arm around her pulling her in closer "what?" he answered in a groggy voice. She nudged him again, "its your cell their paging you." Tom turned and reached over to the night stand fiddling around in the dark looking for his cell, he flipped it open and wiped his eyes blinking a few times trying to read the text message his service had sent…"Critical stabbing victim from County. In route twenty minutes out." Tom looked over at Christina and sighed, he kissed her gently on the cheek then on the curve of her neck, "Sorry sweetie, but I have to go to the hospital." Christina smiled behind closed eyes still half asleep, "I love you sweetie, drive safe." Tom got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to take a quick wash up; he got dressed and headed out. As he passed by the twins room he smiled and ducked inside he couldn't resist, he brushed the hair out of their faces covered them back up and kissed them both on the forehead just before tiptoeing back out of the room quickly if he woke them up Christina would kill him, he made his way into the living room, he saw the pizza on the table; he picked it up and placed it in the refrigerator. Heading out the door, feeling the cold of the midnight air hitting his face. He hated that Morrissey had made a contract with the County that they would take care of the inmates. They were locked into this agreement for five years so not even Christina could change it. He knew that he had to put his bias aside and treat the patient, he had taken an oath and no matter who it was or what they had done in their life he had to treat everyone equally. This was even harder for him now that he had lost his child to a crime and almost lost his wife. He drove to the hospital and pulled into his spot, he could hear the sirens approaching. He walked in right behind the paramedics and the guards that were escorting the prisoner. "What do we have?" Tom asked, (_"20 year-old male multiple stab wounds to abdomen semiconscious critical condition, respiratory rate 30, (BP) 90/60, and dropping. Pulse is weak and thready coded on the way in pushed 100 mg lidocaine.") _He told him as he turned and handed him a slip of paper "Trauma room two." Tom worked on the man, after getting him stable Tom told the nurse to call the O.R and let them know they were on there way up. Tom spent two hours repairing the damage before sending him to recovery. He made it to his office about two hours later after taking care of a few more patients he laid on the sofa just to rest a bit, it had been a long night more like early morning but before he could close his eye good his pager started to go off he reached down and grabbed it off his scrubs all it said was ER 911. Tom got up and rushed down to the ER as the EMTs came racing in with what seemed like the entire RPD behind them. "What do we have?" _("32 year-old male unconscious multiple gunshot wounds to the chest and leg no exit wounds BP 95 /60, NKDA, pulse thready. The EMT yelled out. Trauma room one Tom said as he followed the paramedics. On my count Tom yelled, as they moved him on to the gurney. Tom looked down to access the wounds he had lost a lot of blood, when he noticed who it was, he whispered to himself, "damn it Det. Ajayi." "Excuse me", the paramedic said. Tom ignored the paramedic and yelled for the nurse to hang a unit of o-neg. He was finally stabile enough and they got control of the bleeding. Tom rushed him up to the OR to remove the bullets.) _After three hours of grueling surgery trying to repair all the damage that had been done to Antoine, Tom closed and finishing up. Antoine was considered in stable condition and taken into recovery. Once Tom had cleaned up and talked to Dr. Jones who would be the primary on the case, he went into the recovery room to check on Antoine vitals. As he was looking over his chart and checking the wound and dressing, Antoine started to wake up. In a groggy voice Antoine asked, "Dr. Wakefield is that you?" With a little resistance in his voice Tom answered, "Yes, _Det. Ajayi_ it is me, I need you to relax and don't move, you're going to make it." Antoine placed his hand on Toms, "Thank you." Tom smiled and slowly removed his hand from under Antoine's, as he made some more notations on his chart "It's my job _Det. Ajayi._, Dr. Jones will be your primary and once your moved to a room he'll be in to see you, oh and you have the entire RPD out there waiting to hear how your doing. I hope you get better soon". Tom turned around, gave Antoine's chart to the Recovery Nurse and headed out.

**A Night to Remember**

If I was any other way

After a wonderful dinner and catching up on what was going on in Camille's college life, Christina put Mia and Christopher to bed. Tom cleaned up the dishes and Camille said, she was going to see psycho Suzanne, asking Christina for her car. "No, problem but don't be out to late", Christina said knowing she would get an objection from her daughter. "Mom, I am 20 years old, and in college", she said with a little sass but not meaning any disrespect. "I know you are but you will always be my little girl and don't forget it, oh don't forget I need the car in the morning for work", Christina said as she handed her the keys and kissed her. Tom walked in the living room as Camille was getting ready to walk out the door. "No good bye kiss for me", he said with a smile. She turned around gave Tom a hug and a kiss. "Like your mom said Camille, not to late". She smiled and headed out the door.

Tom walked over to Christina who was now sitting on the couch and sat next to her. They both looked at each other and smiled. Without a word Christina got up and stood in front of Tom, he was giving her an odd look but said nothing. She straddled him and kissed him gently on the lips tasting the residue of the wine they had with dinner. She licked her lips, "I love the way the wine taste on your lips, better than from the glass". He brought her closer to his body, and kissed her passionately. She backed away from him, and with a devious smile she pointed her finger at him, "No sir I am not finished". "Oh, Christina I have never seen this side of you before, but I think I like it". Tom said as he tried to bring her closer to him again, she placed her arm on his chest, resisting his grasp. She was still sitting on top of him, but just far enough were she could tease him, but he couldn't touch her. She started to unbutton her shirt, slowly and methodically. Slowly leaning over and giving Tom gentle kisses on the lips, each time he would try to reach for her but to no avail. She continued her striptease for Tom until she was down to her panties and bra. By this time she could see the excitement she was bringing him. Christina hugged Tom and kissed down his neck, "Tom gave out a deep sigh as he felt her lips on his body, and the rest of her rubbing against him". He grabbed her and picked her off his lap and gently laid her on the floor. He was in control now, and she knew it. "My turn Christina", he said with a sinister, childish laugh. He undid her bra, and enjoyed the view. He kissed her lips again and went from her lips down her body, over her breast that were apparently excited and craving for his attention. Down to her stomach and the top of her panties that he could see were now waiting for him to take off, as she buckled up against his mouth and he could feel her wet panties against his lips. She gently got up and to her knees, making him get to his and she unzipped his pants, and took it off with his help, leaving him in his drawers. Their lips meet again and their kisses became even more passionate, both of their excitement going out of control, so much that Tom knew he had to have her at that point. He placed her back on the floor, taking off his drawers and leaning over Christina taking off her panties. As Tom removed her panties, he began to place kisses on her body that made, Christina moan "Oh, God Tom, you know how to make me feel so good". Tom whispered back, "I am going to make you feel even better". With each kiss he placed on her body he rested his body on top of her, she suddenly felt an electric shock come through her as their bodies became one. "Oh, Christina you feel so good, I love you", Tom said with such passion and love. "Tom, I am the luckiest woman in the world to have an amazing husband, God, I love you". There bodies rocked together in amazing harmony, until they reached their plateau of ecstasy together. They lay in each others arms without moving, just enjoying each others presence and the love they had for one another. Out of the dark, they both heard, a car door slam closed. "Oh, my God Camille is home Tom, we have to get to the bedroom", Christina said as she grabbed all the clothes she could see. Tom grabbed the rest and headed behind her. "I hope we got everything", Tom said laughing, as he grabbed her, kissed her gently and placed her on the bed.

**Unfinished Business**

Got to be more careful

Christina awoke the next morning more excited then ever Camille was home and it was the twins first birthday, she couldn't believe that it had been a whole year. She and Tom had planned a small get together for them that evening, she had invited some of the kids and their parents from the daycare along with Bobbie, Steve, Gail, Brenda and of course she couldn't forget the sweetest and cutest clown she knew. Kelly had offered to dress up and do face painting for the kids and the parents if they wanted it. Christina had spent most of the day in her office, and in and out of meetings but it was almost time for them to head home. It was around one o'clock when Christina was sitting at her desk, she had just finished up on some paperwork and came across something that she really needed to talk to Brenda about before she left for the day, she stood from her desk picked up the paperwork and left her office. She headed down the hall to find her when she happened to over hear two nurses taking about a cop that was brought in the night before who had almost been killed. The young nurse was telling the other that she had heard he was one of the cop's that had investigated an attack on a nurse at the hospital a few years back, and it turned out that his partner had set it all up. "Go figure." She said as she turned to see Christina. Christina looked at both nursesthrowing them a half smile. "Okay ladies back to work," she told them as she passed them, Christina couldn't believe what she had just heard. "Someone tried to kill Antoine?" she muttered under her breath as she walked past the nurses station. She halted her step when the charge nurse stopped her to informed her that a patient was asking to speak to her personally in room 516. She turned around and thanked her, and headed over to the room. She walked in and couldn't believe her eyes it was Antoine. "Hey! Antoine how are you doing?" she said as she saw him laying there, "what the hell happened to you?" she asked in a concerned voice. "I got shot." was all he said. "I can see that," she smiled and he laughed. "The nurse said that you wanted to speak to me?" "I did I just wanted to see how you were doing after all this time." she smiled, "well! a whole hell of a lot better then you apparently seeing as you're the one in the hospital." "Yeah it comes with the job." He told her as he gave her a smile than a look. "Okay what's that look for?" She asked him. "I was just wondering if you ever think about him?" "Antoine please!" Christina said as she shook her head "don't." "Christina I know you loved him." "Antoine I loved him for the person who I thought he was." She told him as she paused for a second. Tom was doing his late afternoon rounds before taking off and heading home Antoine was his last patient to deal with Dr. Jones was the primary but at the last minute he had a family emergency and couldn't do his rounds so Tom was handling both of their cases. As he approached the door it was slightly opened he could hear voices inside and one sounded a lot like Christina's he stood there for a second trying to make sense of it and hear what was being said he moved a little closer to hear their conversation, and when he heard "… In love with Nick." Tom was furious. "Did she just say she was in love with Nick?" he cursed under his breath as he took his hand and rubbed it across his face as he walked away feeling like a fool, he felt humiliated, embarrassed and a whole lot of other emotions, he went back to his office. He was steaming with rage, his face was red from heat at hearing her say those words, after all this time of her telling him that she never loved Nick this is how he had to find out that she really did, she had been lying to him all this time, he took off his lab coat grabbed his jacket and he headed out to the nearest bar, the nearest drink, and the quickest path to oblivion. Tom drove around for a few hours with rage building up in him, he finally walked into the same bar that him and Miles had gone to the night he got arrested for the bar fight. He looked around hoping that after all this time the bartender didn't remember him, he took a seat at the bar and ordered a double shot of scotch hoping that a drunken stupor would help him forget the sound of her voice and those words.

It was about that time, the party was well on its way Christina had called Tom a few times wondering where the hell he was, several of their guest were asking and she really didn't have an answers for them. She had sent Camille to the store to pick up a few things that she had forgotten and over to the hospital to see if he had gotten caught up in an emergency surgery or something she had no clue where he was at.

"Christina the twins look so cute." Bobbie said has she and Steve walked through the back gate handing her three gifts, Christina smiled taking the gifts and placing them on the table behind her. "Thanks guys please come in and make yourselves at home we have plenty of food and drinks." She expressed as she walked out to the front yard to see if she saw Tom's car coming down the street, "damn it Tom where are you?" she sighed under her breath as she turned around and walked back to the backyard and over toward where the twins were enjoying their party. "Hey Christina where is Tom?" Steve asked he had looked around and didn't see him. "He should be here soon." She told him and few minutes later she saw Camille coming through the back gate she excused herself and went to help her with the things she was holding. "Camille did you find Tom?" "Mom I didn't see his car at the hospital, he's not here yet?" Camille said as she started preparing the gift bags. "Maybe he stopped off to pick up a few things for the twins, mom you need to stop worrying he'll be here, relax he's not going to miss the twins party. "Yeah you're right he wouldn't do that unless something was seriously wrong." It had been hours and the party was starting to die down the only people left were Bobbie, Steve, Kelly, and Brenda they all started to help her clean up. Christina went inside and gave the twins a bath and put them down for the night she was coming out of the back room when she saw Brenda. "Hey I just want to thank you for coming and staying to help with the clean up you really didn't have to I hope your niece had a nice time." Christina said as she played with the baby monitor in her hands. "We both did and I wouldn't have missed it for the world." Brenda told her as she rubbed Christina's arm, taking notice of the expression on her face. "Christina…?" and before Brenda could get the question out Christina already knew what she was about to ask her "I don't know Brenda," Christina looked up from the monitor and into Brenda's eyes, "I have no clue where he's at." Christina walked over to the sofa and took a seat she had an uneasy feeling. "Did you guys get into a fight or something?" Brenda asked as she went over and sat next to her. "No we were fine this morning, I don't know what could have happened I've been calling him all night I still haven't gotten an answer." Brenda just looked at her, she didn't know what to say this wasn't like Tom at least not the Tom she knew.

"You know I'm not sure how much more this marriage can take." Christina thought to herself but it came out of her mouth. "Christina what are you talking about?" She looked up from the monitor again at Brenda she had a confused look on her face. "A few months back Tom was having an affair you didn't know that did you?" Brenda looked at her in surprise, more like shock. "I didn't know, your kidding right are you serious?" Christina chuckled in a sigh at the surprise on Brenda's face. "Yes I am! you know it's funny when I just decided to tell you that your response was just what I expected, no one ever thinks that Tom is capable of doing something like that I guess I deserve everything he does to me." Brenda looked at her with sorrow in her eyes, "Christina you didn't deserve that or what Tom is doing now and I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that Tom wasn't capable of it he's a man they all are capable of it." Christina sat there with tears in her eyes. "I guess we're all capable of it, but how could he do this, how could he miss their first birthday, I swear he better be in the hospital or jail if he's not! You know some days I just want to take my kids and get the hell away from here go some where were no one knows me." "Christina please don't take this the wrong way I am in no way excusing what Tom has done but I'm sure he's has a good reason why he missed the party but do me a favor don't kill him until you hear him out first." Christina looked at her as they both started laughing; she nodded her head before they turned at hearing the rest of the group coming into the house.

"Hey you two what's going on in here? What's so funny?" Bobbie asked with a suspicious look on her face, Brenda looked at Christina, "nothing we were just talking about the twins." "Hey I just want to thank you all for coming and staying and helping me clean up I really appreciate it I know that I don't always show my gratitude but I am grateful for all of you in my life.

It was the last person she had ever expected to call her after he ended it; more like his wife ended their friendship. Tom barely had two words to say to her other then saying hello in passing or talking about the new advances in cancer research.

"Hey what are you doing here?" Tom looked up from an empty glass to see Jessica standing next to him.

"Hey yourself." Jessica put a hand on his arm. "You do realize you called me to pick you up, don't you? how many have you had?" she asked as she looked over at the bartender then back at Tom and from the look on Tom's face and the expression on the bartenders she knew that he was way passed his limit.

Tom looked down at his empty glass and frowned. "I did? Oh yeah that's right I couldn't reach Steve and I stopped counting after my fourth maybe it was my fifth drink," he mumbled out as he tried to get the bartenders attention again and for some reason he was being ignored.

"Tom I think you've had enough." Tom turned and shot her a sideways glance, "no what I think is that I need another drink." She smiled at him, as she motioned the bartender over and ordered a drink for herself. She turned back toward him after telling the bartender what she wanted. "Okay have one with me and then we can get out of here." Tom looked at her as the bartender gave Jessica her drink and refilled his glass, he knocked it back quickly and motioned for another one, the bartender looked at Jessica, she gestured a cut off. "Last one pal I have to cut you off." The man told him as he poured him one more double then putting the bottle away and walking toward the end of the bar. "Tom if you need to talk we can." She told him as she played with the glass in her hands. Tom shook his head to suggest that talking was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Thanks but I need to get home," he said, as he tried to get to his feet and stumbled back just a bit.

"Tom your in no condition to drive that's why you called me remember, what you need to do is go somewhere and sleep, let me take you to my place and you can sleep it off." she told him she knew if she could get him back to her place it would give her the perfect opportunity to put her plan back in place. "I don't know what's going on but I don't think your wife would like you coming home at this hour drunk out of your mind." Tom looked back over at the empty glass wishing it had some more liquor in it. "I really don't give a damn what she thinks right now." His statement caught Jessica of guard just a bit, was there trouble in paradise? She thought this really was the perfect opportunity for her to make her move."Tom you don't mean that but come on and let me get you out of here." she wrapped her arms around him after digging into her pocket and pulled out two twenty's throwing them on the counter she helped him to her car, she finally got him in. "I shouldn't be with you. I should just go home." She looked over at him "Tom its okay let me take care of you, you'll sleep it off and then go home and explain it all to your wife." She told him in a devilish way but he was to drunk to figure out what she was up to. "She's the one that needs to explain." He muttered out, as she pulled into the parking lot of her building. "Come on lets get you inside." She told him as she helped him out of the car and into the building. As they approached the elevator she took notice of his face she was getting the feeling that he was going to be sick. "Tom are you okay you look like your going to be sick and before you start to argue with me, I have seen that look before on my ex- come on we better get you somewhere where you can throw up if you have to." she said as she ushered him down the hall to her apartment. "I'm not going to throw up," he insisted, but he let her led him down the hall and into the apartment anyway. She sat him down on the sofa for a few minutes while she disappeared into the back room, she returned a few minutes later. "Okay come with me," she started to pull him from the couch and led him into the bedroom she help him over to the bed and went into the bathroom for the bucket. She handed it to him, "Just in case." and he looked up at her with a frown. "Yes I know your not going to throw up." He wanted to lie down, he needed to lie down but he didn't dare. "Tom I wanted you to know that I'm sorry about what ever is going on with you and Christina, you're a good man. You deserve better," she said, sitting down next to him as she touched then rubbed his leg softly. "You can sleep it off in here and I'll take the couch." He looked over at her suspiciously he couldn't think straight was she up to something he thought but he was to drunk to know. "Jessica, why are you doing this?" she looked over at him. "Were friends do I need a reason," she said, and then she smiled. He faintly smiled back at her, not sure what she was up to, and she moved closer to him. He wanted to ask her what she was doing, but before he could, she had kissed him and he kissed her back.

Tom came around slowly the next morning, really wishing that he hadn't woken up. There was a lot of sunlight beaming into the room he blinked a few times and rubbing his eyes trying to figure out what the hell happened last night. He didn't recognize where he was, he sat up on the side of the bed wondering where the hell he was, who did he go home with and why on God's green earth was he naked.

"Hey sleepy head, I didn't think you were ever going to wake up can you say hangover?" Jessica asked in a laugh as she entered the room fully dressed for work in what looked like a peach tailored made skirt and white blouse as she took a sip of her coffee. Oh, shit. He'd been drinking; he was starting to remember bits and pieces now. He called Jessica when he couldn't get Steve on the phone she came to give him a ride last night she said something about sleeping it off at her apartment, and what the hell was I thinking going with her? He thought to himself. "What's that look? Oh, don't tell me that you don't remember anything that happened last night?" she said, shaking her head. He couldn't believe she was asking him that, she wasn't the one that woke up in another woman's for that matter another man's bed without her clothes on was she serious he was naked he had to wonder if it had went to far. "All I remember was getting drunk, and usually I don't end up naked, I remember you coming to get me, and a kiss the rest of the night is a little fuzzy. Jessica what the hell happened?" She lifted the coffee cup to her mouth and took another sip as she looked over at him. "Jessica, this isn't funny please tell me nothing happened between us," he told her. "And I need to know where the hell my clothes are?" She sat the cup of coffee down on the dresser and walked over toward him, "well you kind of threw up on them for one," she replied. "so I took them down to the one hour cleaners here in the building I asked them to bring them up they should be done soon. Until then you can stay wrapped in that sheet." Tom looked at her like he really had a choice. "Just tell me did we sleep together no better question did we have sex?" He didn't want to think about sleeping with her in that way but he had to know and if he had Christina was going to kill him twice over one for calling her to pick him up and again for sleeping with her. "I'm sorry Tom we did, sweetie it was wonderful." She told him as she sat on the side of the bed caressing the back of his head and trying to kiss him. "Stop and don't call me that only my wife can call me that, damn it Christina is going to KILL Me! for this." He didn't want to believe her but he had no choice he couldn't remember anything pass the kiss he put his head down and just sat there trying to figure out how was he going to tell her and a few seconds later there was a knock on the door. "Oh, that must be your clothes. Let me get them for you." she told him as she stood from the bed she walked into the other room and returned a few seconds later with his clothes. "If you like you can take a shower and I'll take you to go and get your car if you want me to.

"No thanks I'll take a cab, I think you've done enough for me and to me. God I'm a dead man."

Christina awoke and looked across the bed and noticed that his side hadn't been slept in she sighed and closed her eyes wondering where the hell he was at, she got out of bed and went into the twins room to get them ready for the day she had decided to call in and sit there and wait for him to come home. "Camille are you up?" she called out she didn't want them to be there when Tom got home not even Camille she put together some errands that she wanted her to run that would most likely keep her busy for the rest of the day. "Yes mom I'm up did you need something?"

"Yes sweetie I need you to drop the twins off at daycare for me and I have a list of things I would like you to take care of." Camille looked at her mother as she handed her the list she looked down and started to read it she looked back up at Christina in an odd way. "I take it you want me out of the house for the rest of the day." Christina looked at her. "Camille please." "Okay what time do you need me to pick up the twins?" "At five." Camille gave her mother another odd look, "okay I wont be back until after five." she told her as she started to walk back into her room to finish getting dressed. "Hey mom I love you." Christina turned around and looked at her with nothing but love in her eyes "I love you too a lot."

Tom finally made it back over to the other side of town and picked up his car, he had made up his mind that he wasn't going to tell Christina about what happened. He loved her and he didn't want to lose his wife. He was trying to remember why he had been drinking in the first place then he remembered hearing Christina tell Antoine that she loved Nick, he knew that this didn't excuse what he had done he knew he should have just went home and talked to her. Tom pulled up into the drive way he was a little happy when he saw that Christina's car was gone, he thought to himself that he could take a shower and let the day play out she was at work and he had decided to call in after what Jessica had told him. Tom got out of the car and walked into the house to see Christina sitting in the same spot in the same position and the same expression on her face that she had when she told him that she had an affair with Nick. Tom was shocked to see her he could have sworn she was at work her car was gone but he had forgotten that Camille was home for the twin's birthday. "Damn it." he muttered he missed the twins party no wonder she was sitting there pissed. "So you want to tell me where you spent the night Tom?" and please don't lie to me." Tom stood there looking down at his keys they were still in his hand. He frowned as he started turning them over in his hands before he looked back over at her_**. **_"I thought you were at work?" Christina chuckled and stood to her feet. "Yeah well I thought my husband was going to sleep next to me last night. I guess we were both wrong. Where the hell were you Tom?" Christina yelled in his face. "You missed the twins party I was here looking like a fool trying to explain to people where you were. I called you over twenty times why didnt you call me back?" Christina demandedto know. "Christina I'm sorry, I'm sorry I missed the kid's party and I'm sorry you had to explain where I was." He told her as he tossed his keys into the dish by the door. "But you know what I want you to explain something to me, explain to me why you were in Antoine 's room yesterday and why you told him you loved Nick?" Christina looked up at him in a bit of confusion. "Tom you're being ridiculous are you still drunk?" Christina couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Who said that I've been drinking?" Christina shot him a sideways glance. "Really Tom! Do I look that stupid to you? And you had to be freaking drunk to even think that I told Antoine that I loved Nick." Tom just stood there and stared at her for a moment in disbelief. "Christina I heard you tell him don't stand there and lie to me." Christina looked up at him more confused then before. "How much of the conversation did you actually hear Tom? Or did you do what you normally do, just hear what you wanna hear and run with it? And FYI I never told Antoine that I loved Nick, I told him that I never loved him and if you had come and talked to me you would have known that, but no you're first thought was to get pissed at me and go and get drunk wasn't it?" At this point Tom didn't know what to say he walked over and took a seat on the sofa with a lot more caution. "And the reason I was in his room was because I was told a patient wanted to speak with me. I was doing my job. Christina said angrily, Tom sat there shaking his head trying to figure out what he had gotten himself into. "And don't just sit there you still haven't answered my question, where the hell did you spend the night because you sure as hell weren't at the hospital." Tom didn't know how to answer the question, he had to be careful if he told her the truth he knew it was over, after all that he had told her about fighting for him she would take his kids and leave him in a heart beat and he knew it, but if he didn't tell her and she found out he was still looking at her leaving him either way he was fighting a losing battle. Christina stood there and looked at him and by the expression on his face she already knew the answer to her question she chuckled and shock her head. "You know what Tom save it, I'm going to give you this one, take it to the grave with you."

**To Be Continued...**


	10. His Dirty Little Secret

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

****Chapter Ten ****

Six weeks later

**His Dirty Little Secret**

All the wrong decisions

"Hey Kat you have a few minutes?" Christina asked after tapping on the door and hearing her say come in. "Yeah Christina what can I do for you?" Christina walked into the room and closed the door, she took a seat and a deep breath. Kat could tell that something was really wrong Christina just didn't seem herself. "Are you okay Christina? You're not looking so good." Christina sighed "I'm not feeling all that well, I think the endometriosis is back." She said slowly as she watched the expression on Kat's face. "What makes you think that? Are you having symptoms any lower back pain any cramping, constipation, or pain during or after intimacy?" Christina just looked at her for a second. "Not so much cramping but I'm having a little lower abdominal pain. I've been taking some ibuprofen for it I just thought I needed to see you let you know what was going on." "I see. How long have you been having the pain?" "Not that long the last few days." Kat looked at her, "So the birth control pills are no longer helping with the symptoms?" "They were helping but about six weeks back I messed up; so much was going on in my life work, the twins and dealing with some things with Tom that before I knew it I had missed taking them for over a month. When I realized it is when I started having the pain its been really stressful the last few months." "So you haven't started taking them again?" "No I wanted to talk with you first." Christina replied as she stood from her seat and walked over by the large baby photo collage that was now sitting on Kat's wall. "Have you told Tom?" Christina sighed. "Not yet I just don't want to worry him until I know for sure." Kat sighed and looked across the room at her. "Okay well first I want to run some test Christina then me, you and Tom can sit down and talk about a few options for one we can try doing a laparoscopy this time, we can try removing some of the visible growths or adhesions, you could get immediate relief from your symptoms." Christina nodded her head, "let's just do it." "Not so fast Christina I want to take some blood and run some test making sure there is nothing else going on, lets get the results back from that and then we'll decided our next move okay? Lets get you over to the lab I'll make sure they put a rush on it." Christina nodded her head again, "Okay Kat." Christina said in a weak smile as she watched Kat write out the order and hand it to her. "Okay you, go get your blood taken and we'll go from there." "Thanks Kat just page me as soon as you know something," she asked as she walked toward the door. "As soon as I know something Christina." Christina smiled again and walked out of the room.

Tom stood in his office facing the window with one hand in his pocket and the other fixed with a cell phone to his ear listening somewhat intently to yet another voice mail from her. "Damn that woman doesn't give up." He muttered out as Margo entered the room. "Did you say something Dr. Wakefield?" Margo asked as she handed him the medical file that he had asked her to locate. "No Margo and thank you." He replied as the last part of the message caught his attention. "It's imperative that we speak." It wasn't what she said it was how she said it that had him worried using the word loosely, Tom had been ignoring her messages for the last few days he wasn't sure what they needed to talk about, it had been over a month since that horrifying night he hated thinking about it, he had been avoiding her at all cost. He had become the doting husband and father he made it a point to be home at six o'clock every night and to make sure that Christina knew where he was when he wasn't. Tom stood there a little longer in a daze ignoring the sounds of his pager going off the better part of him found his curiosity rearing its ugly little head, the tone of her voice when she said it was imperative that they speak was nagging at him. "Dr. Wakefield?" Margo called out as she entered the room and finding him just standing there. "Dr. Wakefield? Their paging you." Margo said again before going over and tapping him on the shoulder. "Deep thoughts?" Margo asked. "Yeah just a bit what's wrong?" Tom replied. "There paging you." Tom nodded his head and looked down at his pager to see who it was. "Thank you Margo." he called out as he heard the door close. "Who's the patient?" Tom asked the nurse as he made his way over to where she was standing. "Dr. Cannon is on his way the patient is in room 701, I'll let you know when he gets here. "Why? Tom asked as he looked up at the nurse, she smiled at him and continued doing what she was doing. Tom stood there for a second wondering what the hell was going on why would he need to know when the other physician was arriving. "That's not necessary." He told her as he headed over to the room. Tom frowned just a bit as he entered the room; he grabbed and glanced over the chart before he sat next to the patient in the bed. He'd been called for a surgical consult, but after further examining the patient surgery was only an option, not a necessity. His forehead wrinkled in a frown, as he looked over the chart once again.

"Something you disagree with Dr. Wakefield?" The voice behind him asked as Dr. Cannon entered the room.

"Yeah, still not sure why I'm here, I have just explained to Mr. Brown here that he doesn't need surgery it's optional and not a necessity at this point."

"I know but he wanted a third opinion didn't he tell you that." Dr. Cannon asked as he smiled at the man that was now sitting up in the bed. "No he didn't." Tom replied as he looked over at the man wondering why he wanted to go under the knife if he didn't have to, Tom looked back over at Dr. Cannon with a mere suggestion a psych consult might be needed. "I'll sign off on my consult." Tom told Dr. Cannon as he made some notations in the man's chart and left the room with Dr. Cannon following right behind him. "He doesn't need surgery as of yet It's an option and only that right now." "I tried to tell him that, and thank you for coming down." Tom shock the other doctors hand and headed back down to his office to finish up some long over due paperwork.

**What's done in the dark**

Free but still caged

Jessica rounded the corner and spotted Tom's secretary sitting at her desk. Taking a deep breath, she tightened the grip on the report she was holding, as she started to walk over she noticed her gathering her things she decided to wait for her to leave before she approached his office and a few seconds later Margo walked off in the opposite direction that she was watching from. She stood there for another second getting her thoughts together she was tired of him ignoring her, he was going to listen to her one way or another it was time for her to put the next part of her plan into place.

Tom was sitting at his desk he had just hung up the phone when he heard the knock at the door. "Come in" he called out he knew that Margo had went to lunch, as the door opened he looked up to see the last person he had expected to see in his office, he knew by all the phone messages that she wanted to talk to him about something but he never expected her to actually come over to his side of the building. Jessica was standing there in front of him with what looked like a medical report. "What are you doing over here?" Tom asked in a tone that he didn't even like but he knew that nothing she had to say to him could be good. "I came to show you this." She told him as she slid the report across his desk." He looked up at her with a serious look, "what the hell is this?" he asked not really interested in what it was. "You need to read it," she replied as her voice got a little angry. "Just tell me what the hell it is!" Tom yelled at her, he was getting an uneasy feeling about what was in the folder; she stood there and said nothing. Tom looked down at the file he took a deep breath and opened it he read over the test results he couldn't believe what he was reading it couldn't be true. "Oh God you have got to kidding me." He told her as he stood up and walked across the room rubbing his hands over his face and head. "Are you serious? This has got to be a joke?" Tom yelled in a tone that carried through to the hall where Bobbie was now walking down headed to his office to get some information on an up coming surgery for one of his patients, she stopped at the partly open door when she heard him yelling at someone but couldn't make out who it was, but what she heard next stunned her more like shocked her. "It's not a joke Tom I'm pregnant and this baby is yours, and just to let you know I'm keeping it!" Jessica yelled back. Tom turned and shot her a look to suggest you can't be serious. "You can't do this!" Tom yelled. "WATCH ME!" he knew he was a dead man there was only so much Christina was going to put up with she had forgiven his affairs with Jessica but a child, that was going to push her over the edge. "Please please tell me it's a false positive." Jessica just stared at him when he said it was she not making herself clear. "I ran it three times its positive, so get ready to introduce your wife to her stepchild and your children to their baby brother or sister." Tom stood there not knowing what to say at this point. "What the hell do you want from me Jessica?" Tom asked wondering how in the hell he was going to tell this to Christina before someone else found out and told her. "What the hell do you think I want? It's sure as hell not money I make enough of that myself, I want you to be a father to your child." She told him as she gave him an evil smirk. "Don't worry about that I'll be there for my child, but I want you to Get out!" Jessica just stood there like she didn't hear what he said. "I said get the hell out!" He yelled at her in frustration. "You can put me out of your office but you can't put me out of your life, me or this baby. Tom your wife told me once she would make my life a living hell, well you know what, now I get to make hers one." she told him as she turned and stormed out of the room slamming the door closed behind her, she was walking so fast that she didn't see Bobbie sitting at Margo's desk, Bobbie couldn't believe her eyes she heard the name Jessica but she didn't put two and two together until she saw it was Dr. Bourjois that was passing her, and a few seconds later she heard crashing, breaking and some swearing in Tom's office, Bobbie stood up and walked back down the hall she wasn't sure what she should do, after telling Christina that Tom would never cheat on her.

He was steaming with rage and standing in the mess of his office, the mess of his life that he had just created, the words I'm pregnant kept playing in his head the only person that should have said any thing like that to him was Christina. "Damn it." How in the hell am I going to tell her that I'm having a baby with a woman I don't even know. Tom knew as soon as she found out his marriage was over, Jessica all but said that she wasn't going anywhere, she planned to make Christina's and his life hell on earth. His first thought was to go and get drunk he wanted to head to the nearest bar but that's what got him into this predicament that he just found himself in.

Christina was getting ready to call it a night when she received a text from Kat asking her and Tom to meet her at her office. Christina still didn't want to tell Tom what was going on just yet, if it was bad news she wanted to be the one to tell him. She gathered her things and headed over to Kat's office. As she reached the door she took a deep breath. "Okay Christina it's all going to be okay," she muttered just before taking another deep breath and knocking on the door. "Come in." Kat called out and Christina opened the door and took a step inside. "Where is Tom? Kat asked and the expression on her face was giving Christina an uneasy feeling at this point she was glad that she had decided against telling Tom. "He was called to a last minute surgery." Christina answered in a low tone not sure she wanted to hear what Kat had to say. "Christina please have a seat." The tone in Kats voice seared Christina just a bit she took a semi long look at her before she closed the door and walked over and took a seat in one of the chairs that was sitting in front of her desk, Christina had a strong feeling this wasn't good. "First I want to say Congratulations!" Christina sat there, she wasn't sure how to respond to what Kat just said she gave her a sideways glance trying to understand why she was congratulating her. Kat chuckled just a bit at the expression on Christina's face. "Okay Christina by the expression on your face your wondering why I said that." Christina nodded her head. "Ahh yeah! I am, your starting to freak me out." She replied with a frown. "Well I'm sorry I don't mean to scare you but on a happy note it turns out your pregnant." Kat said with a smile as she played with the pen in her hand. "Excuse me! I'm what?" Christina shock her head paused as she took a deep breath and stood up she walked around the chair she was sitting in; she placed her hands on the back of it gripping it tight as she leaned over it just a bit still shaking her head in disbelief. "Are you sure? You're positive?" She asked now feeling a little panic setting in. "Calm down Christina and yes I'm sure the lab ran the test twice, Christina we need to go over the risks again with you carrying this baby." Christina stood there, she was having trouble wrapping her head around what Kat had just told her. "Okay wait a minute hole up, your saying I'm pregnant?" "Yes Christina I am." Christina walked back around the chair and sat back down still shaking her head she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Okay Kat I need time to process this can we talk about the risks later?" "Christina I know this is a lot to deal with and you know all the risks and what you need to do to have this baby I would like you to make an appointment for next week." "I will, I'll call your office tomorrow, I need to get going I need to pick up the twins." Christina stood for the last time and walked over toward the door. "Thanks Kat," Christina smiled and walked out.

"Hey Christina are you headed out?" Bobbie asked as she saw her heading for the lobby doors. "Yeah I am, did you need something? Or is this something that can wait until tomorrow I need to be at the daycare by five thirty." Bobbie paused wondering if she was doing the right thing she felt guilty about not believing Christina when she told her that Tom was having an affair in the first place.

"Its important can we walk and talk?" Bobbie wasn't sure how Christina was going to react to what she had to say, as they reached Christina's car Bobbie paused. "Okay Bobbie what is this about?" she asked getting an uneasy feeling. "Well first I just want to say that I'm sorry, really sorry for not believing you when you tried to tell me that you thought Tom was having an affair I wasn't being a good friend and I'm really sorry." Christina gave her a sideways glance she was wondering why after all this time she was apologizing or bringing it up again what did she know. "Bobbie what's going on? What are you trying to tell me?" Bobbie took a deep breath, "I over heard something today and I just wanted to bring it to your attention." Christina gave her a look to suggest okay well what the hell is it. "Its about Dr. Bourjois, she's pregnant and it was said that Tom's the father." Christina just stood there she was paralyzed at the thought. She wasn't sure at this moment what to say or what to think why was Bobbie telling her this. "Who and where did you hear this Bobbie?" Bobbie lowered her head then looked back up at Christina, "I'm not trying to hurt you Christina I'm not please believe that." "Just tell me what you know." Christina yelled. "I over heard her tell Tom this afternoon." Christina took a deep breath and closed her eyes trying to fight the rage, fear, disappointment and tears. "I have to go. I have to go pick up my kids." She told her as she got in her car leaving Bobbie standing there to watch as she drove away. Christina drove around to the other side of the hospital doing her best not to cry she didn't want to believe it, but she knew in the back of her mind that it was possible, she knew that when he missed the twins party that he was with her, what she didn't understand is why she hadn't left him. But she knew the answers to that question to, she still loved him and his love for her was always unconditional, he had forgiven her for her mistakes, and it's always hard to let go of your first love. Christina took another deep breath and pulled into the parking space of the daycare. She picked the twins up and strapped them into their seats. Home was the last place she wanted to be so she headed to Fun Town to let the kids play, as she sat there and watched the twins, Bobbie's words kept playing over and over in her head, along with Kats, she felt the tears in her eyes again when she got a text from Tom that read _"sorry sweetheart got called into emergency surgery with Dr. Jones should be home by nine I LU." _Christina just sat there looking at the last part of the text (I LU) she kept reading it over and over again she was trying not to judge him but how much pain did she have to take, how much punishment did she have to endure before what she did was truly forgiven. Christina finally made it home, she got the kids into the house and somewhat settled in. What seemed like hours, she sat in the living room after bathing and putting the twins down for the night, she felt her heart breaking and she really didn't know what she was going to do. The only light in the room that was on was the dim lamp across the room, Christina felt the tears in her eyes beginning to form she was determined not to let the walls down but her strength was weakening she could feel it, the more she sat there thinking about her situation and the fact that Tom may have gotten another woman pregnant was wearing her down, she was trying her best to hold the tears back but she slowly began to break down, the flood gates opened and the tears started to pour out uncontrollably she started to clam down just a bit as she looked over at the clock and noticed that it was almost that time, he would be home in a few minutes. When she heard the keys in the door she wiped her tears from her eyes again and sat at the edge of the chair. "Hey!" He said slowly as he walked into the dimly lit room, he could barely see her but when she didn't respond to him, he knew that she had been crying that she already knew. He took a deep breath as he held his keys in his hands he walked further into the room, he knew that asking her to talk was a bad idea, all he could do was try to apologize and keep apologizing. "Christina I love you, baby I'm sorry it was a mistake." Christina slowly stood from the chair that she was sitting in, she walked over to where he was standing, she stood there and stared into his eyes before slapping! the shit out of him the sound echoed through out the room he stumbled back catching himself from falling grabbing his face in pain he didn't know if it was because she caught him off guard or if she had more strength then he realized. "So it's true? How in the hell could you do this to me!" she screamed at him as she started to pace the floor. "Christina please let me try to explain." She halted and made eye contact with him again, he knew if looks could kill he would be dead right now. "Explain…? You want to try and explain to me how you had not one but two affairs on me, and if that wasn't bad enough you got her pregnant. Tom how?…how in the hell can you explain that? I forgave you for both, the first because of what I did and the second because God I love you, but how much do I have to take to prove to you I love you unconditionally? I'm tired Tom I can't do this anymore." she told him as she started to walk away again.

"Christina please I love you, baby I'm sorry I swear it was a mistake." Christina turned and just looked at him she chuckled. "That's funny, no it's not, its ironic because those are the same exact words I told you before you served me with divorce papers, so tell me Tom what the hell should I do to you?" She asked him as she turned back around and headed for the hallway. "Christina? Baby please tell me what you want me to do?" She turned her head and gave him a look to suggest kiss her ass, she turned completely around and walked back over to him. "You wanna know what I want you to do?" Christina asked angrily pointing her finger in his face threateningly**. **"I want you to go to HELL! But since I can't have that I guess a hotel will have to do, I want you to get the hell out." She yelled at him as she turned away and walked toward their bedroom.Tom headed for the hallway he just needed to try and explain what happened but he knew she was right there was no way he could, what could he possibly say to make her understand he was drunk, but he knew being drunk was no way an excuse for what he did to her or to their family. He stopped at the door, he wasn't giving up on his marriage but he knew she needed time. He walked over toward the front door he hadn't noticed it when he came in the house that his bags were packed and sitting by it he picked them up and against everything he was feeling he did what she asked. Christina sat on the edge of her bed she had been suppressing the tears, she heard the front door close and before she knew it she had began to cry out loud and hard she gasped trying to catch her breath she placed her hand over her heart which was beating so fast, so loud that she felt it was going to fall right out of her chest she realized at that moment that everything in her life in her world had just changed her universe was exploding it felt like she was being consumed by darkness she was scared and there was no light to guide her, she felt completely alone and broken not knowing how to pick up the pieces that was once her life.

**Finding My Way Back**

The long road home

It had been two days Margo was on vacation and he had elected not to get a temp while she was gone Margo was funny about other people touching and disorganizing her things. Tom had been sleeping in his office something that he was more then familiar with.

"Tom…Margo's not at her desk, what the bloody hell happened in here?" Steve asked as he entered Tom's office noticing the huge mess. Tom sat up pushing the covers to the side of the couch and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Did you sleep here last night?" Tom looked up at him nodding his head. "Christina put me out a few nights ago." Tom lowered his head and Steve stood there with a confused look on his face. "Why? What the bloody hell did you do mate?" Tom took a deep breath and stood to his feet, and walked over and started to pick up some of the things on the floor. "I had an affair more like two with the same woman and now she's pregnant and Christina found out about it." "Bloody hell mate! What were you thinking?" Tom stood there shaking his head "I don't know I didn't plan on it, it just kind of happened I know that's not an excuse but it did and now I've lost everything. She's not going to take me back this time. All I want to do is get drunk but that's what got me into this mess." Tom shrugged as he eyed his friend wondering what he was thinking.

"So what are you going to do just give up on your marriage? You told me once that you wanted Christina to fight for you and she has now maybe its time for you to fight for her and your kids." Steve said in an undeniable voice. Tom just looked at him he knew his friend was right he had to fight he couldn't just let her go not this easy. "Your right Steve I need to do what ever it takes to get her back." he told him as his pager started to beep. "Damn what now?" Tom looked down at the annoying thing on his hip before lifting it from the clip to glance at the message. "Can we finish this later Steve that's the O.R.?" Tom asked hoping that he wouldn't mind he really needed someone to talk to he was afraid that the pressure he was feeling he would have a drink and that's not what he really wanted to do. Steve nodded his head, "I think we should, I'll come back later." Tom and Steve left the room, "hey Steve can you keep this to yourself please." Steve turned and looked at him. "Yeah mate just between me and you." he told him as he headed for the ER and Tom headed for the locker room to change into a set of scrub. Tom entered the O.R scrub room and immediately went to the sink and began washing his hands and forearms. Then walked into the O.R where the nurse helped him with his gown, cap and mask. He turned and looked at the other doctor before looking down at the patient, "what do we have?" "Hit and run twenty-seven year old male multiple broken ribs, possible internal bleeding and broken arm, Tom looked over the X-rays carefully before nodding his head. "Let's do this." Two hours later, Tom left the O.R more exhausted then ever. He headed to the cafeteria after a quick cleanup in the locker room for a cup much needed cup of coffee and Reuben, he couldn't remember the last time he had eaten something. He spotted her the moment he walked into the room, cursing under his breath he walked passed her and headed straight for the line, it seemed every time he turned around now she was some where in the vicinity, his first thought was to turn around and leave but he really needed a cup of coffee and something to eat. What did he really expect, she told him she would make their lives a living hell. He sighed, his stupidity had gotten him into this mess and now he had to live with it but that didn't make it easier to be around her. He still had questions about that night, he really wasn't sure what happened only what she told him happened, he felt like he had been used like some **pawn** in a game, he had tried for days after that night to remember what happened but couldn't get a clear picture of it.

"Black Dr. Wakefield?" a voice said, startling him from his thoughts.

"Excuse me?" he replied, quickly at the person who was talking to him.

"Are you okay Tom? She was asking you if you wanted your coffee black." Steve said as he walked up behind him.

"I'm fine, sorry yes black large please and a Reuben." he told her as he stood there waiting on his coffee and his sandwich.

"Hey why don't we grab a table?"

"I'm not sure being around a lot of people is a good idea for me Steve." Tom said as he glanced around the cafeteria and noticing that she was still there an angry look started to appear on Tom's face.

"You'll be fine, sitting in your office is not doing you any good either." Steve followed the direction of Tom's angry glance a few tables to the Right of them. "Is that her?" Tom turned back around and looked at him. "unfortunately yes." Tom knew that Gossip runs rampant through the halls of James River it was only a matter of time before everyone knew what was going on with him, Christina and Jessica it was something that he didn't want Christina to have to go through but there was no way he could stop it. "Dr. Wakefield your order." Tom walked back over to the counter and picked it up then going to the end of the line paying and walking over to one of the free tables that was as far away from her as possible, Steve followed taking a seat across from him. "So do you know where you're going to stay?" Steve inquired as he took a sip of his juice he was holding in his hand.

"I move back into my old condo in a few days, the sublets put in a notice last week. I prefer going home but I know that's not going to happen anytime soon, God Steve what the hell did I do? This time I'm the one who screwed up my marriage. You know she wont even talk to me, let alone look at me, I miss them, her and my kids."

"Tom its all going to work out just don't give up on her, you and Christina just need some time that's all, but its not going to be easy, you both will find your way back to each other."

"I hope your right Steve God! I hope your right."

"Hey, guys" Tom and Steve acknowledged looking up from their conversation to see Bobbie standing there. "What are you two talking about?" Steve looked over at Tom then back up at Bobbie. "Nothing just a little male bonding." Bobbie gave a faint smile as she looked over at Tom then back over at Steve. "Okay on that note I'll let you two finish." Bobbie said as she walked away.

"You know what Steve I think I'm just going to take this back to my office."

"You don't have to Tom."

"I do, I just need time to think, don't worry I won't give up, I can be pretty persistent when I need to be." Tom told him as he stood up picking up his coffee and his Reuben and headed for the hallway. "Tom?" Steve called out but he kept walking as Bobbie came back over to the table.

"Is everything okay with Tom?" Bobbie inquired as she took a seat at the table noticing the expression on Steve's face. "He's fine, he just has a lot on his mind that's all." Steve said but little did he know Bobbie was the one who told Christina all about Jessica's pregnancy.

**Her Destructive Path**

Wrath's run deep

Bobbie, was watching Tom and Steve's interaction in the cafeteria. Since Tom and Christina's break up they had been spending more time together. Each time she saw them or knew that they were hanging out together she felt even more guilty, knowing what she said to Christina is what caused the break up. She felt the need to tell Steve, she could fell herself drifting away from him, and she knew it was guilt she was feeling, but she also didn't want to lose Steve. One relationship broken because of this woman was enough, she didn't want to make themselves victims as well. She had decided to talk with Steve about what happened when he got home from his boy's night out with Tom. Tom and Steve had been hanging out a lot more, but Steve hadn't broken his promise to Tom, about not saying a word to anyone about Jessica's pregnancy, not even to Bobbie. Bobbie sat on the couch in their living room, with her eyes fixated on the front doors she was waiting for Steve to come home after another, boy's night out at Tom's place. She had to tell Steve tonight about what she had done, so she could finally get a good night sleep and clear her conscious. For days Steve had been asking her what was going on with her she was tossing and turning through out the night and seemed to be on edge. She had told him, it was just the stress from work. "Hey I didnt expect you to still be up." Steve said as he walked into the living room closing the door and locking it behind him. Steve looked at her with a worried but suspicious glance on his face as he moved toward the couch he found Bobbie wrapped in a blanket, with only one light on and an expression on her face that Steve could clearly see that she had been crying. "Are you okay Bobbie?" Steve asked with concern in his voice. "Steve can you please sit down, I was waiting for you," Bobbie said in barely a whisper. Steve's concern was growing deeper he wasn't sure what Bobbie was about to say but he knew that it wasn't going to be good. Steve took a seat next to her and looked at her with compassion and worry in his eyes. He put his hand on hers, "Bobbie, what's wrong love, what is it? I know something has been bothering you lately, please just tell me what's going on. I can try and help". Bobbie, looked at him and took a deep breath as she continued, to speak softly, "Steve," she paused as she looked down at the tissue in her hand, "I'm the reason that Christina, kicked Tom out of the house." She slowly lifted her head to look at him after she said it. Steve was looking at her and wondering what she meant by the statement. "Okay I don't understand, what makes you think this is your fault? You had nothing to do with this." Steve told her as he sat there rubbing her hand. "Steve it is my fault, I overheard Jessica in Tom's office telling him about the baby. I ran into Christina before she left work that day, and I wanted to make up to her for not believing when she told me she thought Tom was having an affair. So I felt as a friend I owed it to her to tell her." Steve looked at her he couldn't believe what he was hearing, he stood up from the couch and walked across the room he turned back around and went back over to the couch. **"Bobbie, what the bloody hell were you thinking?" **Steve yelled at her. "Do you know what you did? Did you even think how it would hurt her and cause damage to their marriage that was something that should have come from Tom not you, or was your only concern about you?" Bobbie just looked at him she didn't understand what he meant. "What? What is that supposed to mean?" she asked as she stood up. "it means you've stabbed her in the back once when she needed a friend, was this your chance to do it again but this time you didn't just stab her in the back you twisted the knife." "Steve you have to understand, I was not trying to hurt her, or them, I was trying to make up for not believing her. I felt with the rumor miles at James River it was best for her to hear it from a friend." Bobbie, said with pleading in her voice, for him to understand her point of view. "There is no excuse for what you did Bobbie, a couple's business, is their business, and Tom should have had a right to tell Christina, maybe the outcome would have been different. If Christina didn't have time to mull it over, she might have heard Tom out more," Steve said with anger in his voice that Bobbie had never heard before. Steve grabbed his jacket and keys and headed for the door. "Steve, where are you going"? Bobbie asked with fear in her voice. "I don't know, but don't wait up I just cant deal with you right now." . Oh and I want you to think about something," he told her as he looked over his shoulder at her. "What's that?" Bobbie replied. "How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot, if this was your life someone was playing with?" with that he walked out the door, leaving Bobbie on the couch in tears. "Damn it! What did you do? He's right I should have just minded my own business, I wish I would have just left things alone." Bobbie whispered to herself as she continued to cry. Tom was just turning out the lights and heading to the back when he heard the doorbell ring. His first thought was that something happened to Christina and the kids. He turned around and headed for the door. When he opened it he was surprised to see Steve standing there, "Hey! You okay, you keep this up and Bobbie's going to think you like spending more time with me then her", Tom said with a smile. "You wish mate, no Bobbie and I got into a row… I mean a fight and I just couldn't stay at the house. Could I bunk here for the night". Steve said with agitation still in his voice. "Of course you can, the couch is all yours." Tom said with concern in his voice for his friend and moving out of the way for him to come in. As they both took a set on the couch, Tom looked at Steve as he grabbed the remote off the coffee table, "Do you want to talk about it. I can be a good listener, some times." Not knowing exactly how to tell Tom what Bobbie had done, he decided the best thing to do was just jump in. Steve took a deep breath then exhaled slowly he stood up and ran his hands over his face then through his hair. "Mate I'm not really sure how to say this, unfortunately Bobbie told Christina about Jessica. She wasn't trying to hurt you or Christina she was just…she thought she was being a good friend." He could see the rage on Tom's face. Tom said nothing to Steve, he stood up and headed to the kitchen, as Steve's words finally seemed to hit him, he turned around and with fury in his voice, said "she did what? What the hell was she thinking?" Tom yelled in anger as he slammed his fist on the counter "I don't freaking believe this." Steve looked back at him trying to find a way to make it right, but no words would come to him. Tom disappeared into the kitchen and moments later he returned with two beers. "Lets see if there is a hockey game mate". Tom said with no affliction in his voice. They both sat their in silence, enjoying their beers and watching a game on Sports Center.

The next morning Tom woke up and got ready for work. Steve was already in the kitchen fixing them some breakfast. "Good Morning sleepy head" Steve said and paused when he noticed the frown on Tom's face. "What did I say", Steve, feeling a little puzzled at the way Tom was looking at him. "Please don't call me that Steve, that's what Jessica called me, the morning I woke up at her house". Tom said with repugnance on his face, as he served himself some coffee and sat down to eat . As Tom put the first bit of food in his mouth, he thanked Steve for making breakfast. "it's the least I could do, Mate, after everything Bobbie put you and Christina through and letting me stay the night", Steve said as he turned the stove off and walked around, taking a seat at the table across from Tom.

Tom sat there drinking his coffee he felt totally and completely helpless in this situation he wished that Bobbie hadn't told Christina but the damage had already been done there was no use in crying over spilled milk now. "Steve, tell Bobbie it's okay I would have rather her kept it to herself but I understand, she was just trying to be a friend, don't be to hard on her. The only one that made the mistake was me, by getting involved with Jessica and ruining my life and my marriage. I want you to go back to Bobbie, and forgive her. She really didn't have to say anything to you, her conscious got the better of her and she felt she could be honest with you, support her, for having a conscious. I have already let Jessica ruin my marriage; please don't let her ruin another relationship. We can't let her get away with causing more destruction," Tom said with a little malice in his voice. Steve just stared at him for a second twisting his cup in his hands before he responded. "Tom, don't take this the wrong way but take your own advice and don't let her ruin your marriage either Christina loves you and you love her you just need to fight a little harder, find a way to force her to talk to you," Steve said as he took a sip of his coffee. Tom nodded his head in agreement as the two men sat their and finished their breakfast together before heading out to work.

**To Be Continued...**


	11. Knowing your Boundaries

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

****Chapter Eleven ****

**Knowing your Boundaries**

An unexpected visit

It had been two and a half more like three months since Christina found out about Jessica's and of course her own pregnancy. She was only dealing with Tom when it came to the children, he would take off every other Friday from work picking them up and keeping them over the weekend. Other than that he would come and get them on Saturday morning and keep them all day bringing them back just before their bathe time.

She spent weeks hiding her pregnancy from him and everyone else, Kat was the only one that knew about it, she was sure that Kat wouldn't talk to him she made it a point to give her the impression that Tom knew everything that was going on with the pregnancy, he just couldn't make the appointments with her do to his schedule. She spent her days in her office staying away from everyone especially him, she was starting to really show and she wasn't sure how much longer she was going to be able to hide it him or any one else. Christina felt bad and knew that it was wrong to keep something like this from him but she didn't want the pregnancy to be another reason for her to have to deal with Tom, and after seeing Jessica that morning in passing she knew what she was doing was the right thing not complicating his life even more, she had seen Jessica a few times since all of this happened and every time she saw her she seemed to be bigger and bigger she wasn't sure what kind of contact Tom was having with her and she wasn't sure she really wanted to know, she just wanted to wake up from this nightmare and have her life back.

It was a day like no other, dealing with paperwork, red tape and meetings all day. She was sitting in the middle of a meeting when she realized that she had totally forgot that she had an appointment with Kat that morning, "damn it." she sighed under her breath as she sat there fidgetingwith her phone and praying that Kat wouldn't seek Tom out, trying to find out why she hadn't made it so she quickly sent Kat a text telling her that she had meetings all morning and that she forgot their appointment but she would call her office and reschedule it for later that week.

Jessica was sitting in the cafeteria not five feet from the table that Katayoun was sitting at.

"Hey Kat can I join you?" Brenda asked there was no one else in the cafeteria that she felt like sitting with.

"Sure grab a seat." Kat told her as she wiped her mouth. "Hey by the way have you seen Christina? I've been trying to call her but it keeps going to voice mail."

"Yeah! I have, earlier she's been in meeting's all day."

"Ahh okay that explains it, she missed an appointment with me this morning, I really wanted to check her blood pressure today its been kind of high I just want to make sure that she doesn't get toxemia again with this pregnancy to." Brenda eyes widen just a bit when she said it, and hers weren't the only ones Jessica was listening intensely to their conversation and her rage was starting to set in. "Damn it she's pregnant!" She cursed under her breath as she stood up. "She going to mess up everything." she said as she stormed out of the cafeteria she headed for her car not telling anyone know that she was leaving she wanted Christina out of the way.

"Damn that woman." she screamed as she shook the steering wheel acting like a crazy woman in a rage. "He's mine and you're not going to keep him." She sat in the parking lot hot as fire when she finally clamed down. "No worries Christina I know what to do." She said to herself as she flipped her hair back and started her car, she drove over to Christina's house and sat there for a few minutes looking around making sure that no one was around to see her, she was glad that she had followed Tom home a few times, the last time she had watched him as he spent time home alone watching sport center**. **She got out of the car and walked up to Christina's house she knocked on the front door then looked around when she didn't see anyone she ducked into the backyard she broke a window on the back door and gained access. "This is nice." she said as she walked around the living room after grabbing a butcher knife from the kitchen, she ran her hands gently over the sofa before destroying it by slicing it up along with the chairs that were sitting there she pulled all the photos off the walls along with all the glass and anything else that was sitting out that she could grab, break or tear up in the living room before making it into the bedrooms and repeating her actions including slicing up the bed that Christina and Tom shared. When she was satisfied with what she had done she smiled. "Lets see how you like your beautiful house now Christina." She said as she dropped the knife on the counter as she left the same way she came in making sure that no one saw her.

Christina finally made it out of the last meeting of the day she was completely exhausted the pregnancy was really starting to take a toll on her; she decided to leave a little early so she headed back to her office to gather her things and let Yolanda know if anyone needed her to have them page her. She made it out of the lobby doors and headed straight for the car this is one time she wished that Tom had the kids because all she really wanted was to head home take a hot shower and climb into bed but her day wasn't over. She headed around to the other side of the hospital and picked up the twins she was hoping more like praying that they would be more then cooperate tonight that she would be able to get them feed bathed and down for the night early. As she took the short ride home she couldn't help but think about Tom and this whole situation that they were in, she missed her husband and she wanted him to come home but how could she let that happen. She finally made it to the house and pulled into the driveway, she got the twins out and made it to the door, she unlocked and opened it, "okay you two lets get you both inside we can play for a little bit then get you both feed after that a bath…." she started to say when she looked up and couldn't believe what she saw, her house was completely destroyed. "Oh my… WHAT THE HELL!" Christina said in a tight voice and turned around, so she wasn't looking directly at it. The house was a complete mess, with everything tossed in opposite corners and the furniture was ripped, sliced and cut in places everything was broken. The couch and chairs were overturned, legs where broken off of chairs and laying in the mist of the broken coffee table, sat the TV it had been pulled from the wall it was broken with a large gash threw the screen and was on the opposite side of the room. She was afraid at what the rest of the house looked. "Stay right here and don't move!" she told the twins as she took a step inside and forced herself to look around someone had broken into the house.

"I can't believe this sh**." She said as she walked back over to the twins grabbing them and heading back out to the car. "911 what is your emergency?"

"Someone broke into my house!" Christina said very emotional at this point.

"Ma'am, please calm down. What is your name?"

"My name is Christina Hawthorne… God, can you please just send someone!"

"Ms. Hawthorne calm down, were dispatching someone to your location as we speak." The operator was telling her when she heard a scream, and then the phone went dead.

"Ma'am, …? Ma'am? Ms. Hawthorne?" The operator kept yelling out before she heard a dial tone. She tried to call the number back but she kept getting a busy signal. Seven minutes later two patrol cars pulled up, they started a walk through to access the damage and a few minutes later a detective showed up to do an a assessmentof the damage and collect evidence.

Detective La'Shay was a tall muscular chocolate skinned man with a beautifully shaved head that accentuated the thin mustache and goatee that was neatly trimmed, he had a walked that would make the strongest woman break down to her knees and take a double take just to make sure, and a smile that would light up a room when he entered. He more then resembled the Shemar Moore's of the world. He was dressed in a black suit with no tie, but he didn't seem the type, he seemed more of the jeans and tee kind of man he was distinguished but in the same tone rugged. "Ms. Hawthorne hi I'm Detective La'Shay, I'm sorry about your home but do you think you can step inside with me for a few minutes maybe you cantell if anything is missing?" Christina nodded her head, "but I can't leave my kids here in the car." She told him as he leaned around her to see the twins sitting in their car seats.

"Would it be okay if this officer keeps an eye on them while we go through this?" He asked as he motioned one of the officers standing out side. "Yeah sure that will be fine." Christina said as she opened the car door. "Okay you two mommy will be right back, okay this nice officer is going to stand right here with you, I'll be right back." she told them as she walked into her house, she still couldn't believe that her house was a complete mess that it had been completely destroyed. "As they walked through the rooms who ever did this didn't missed a one, all the rooms including the twins had been wrecked.

"Is anything in here missing?" He asked knowing that it would be hard to tell considering all the damage that had been done through out the house, but maybe just maybe the intruder had taken something that would give them a lead as to who did this, Detective La'Shay had officers canvassing the neighborhood to see if anyone had seen anything out of the ordinary. As they entered the last room she looked around still shaking her head in disbelief, she still couldn't believe all the damage that had been done; all she wanted to do was cry.

"Ms. Hawthorne I know this is hard but we've gone through all the rooms did you notice anything missing?" Christina looked around the room they were standing in then up at him, "I'm sorry I can't tell." Detective La'Shay looked at her he could see the hurt but he had seen things like this before where someone would commit a senseless crime just to demolish and destroy but this didn't feel like one of those this felt more personal to him.

"Why would someone do this?" She muttered thinking it to herself but she said it aloud.

"Ms. Hawthorne I know that this is hard but do you know of anyone that would want to hurt you or your family by the looks of things this was personal do you or your husband have any enemies." Christina looked up at the man with a perplexed look on her face. "No! We don't." she told him in a firm voice. "Okay well I suggest that you don't stay here tonight do you have a place you can go? Can I call someone for you?" With a puzzling look on her face she looked up at him, wondering who could she stay with a few days until she figured out what to do she knew that she couldn't ask Bobbie, and going to the condo with Tom was out of the question. "Yeah I have a place to stay I just need to make a call." She told him as they stood there looking around the room. "I just need to pack a few things for me and the kids if that's okay?" she asked with a distressful tone in her voice. "Ms. Hawthorne I can't allow you to remove anything from the scene of the crime everything is evidence I'm sorry." Christina looked around the destroyed room again.

"Its okay I understand, thank you." She told him as they both walked back out into living room. "Thank you again." Christina said, "if you don't still need me I would like to get back outside to my kids, he nodded his head at her, she turned around took one last look and walked back out the door to her car, she stood there taking deep breaths she pulled out her phone and called Brenda as she listened to it ring she felt tears forming in her eyes she just couldn't understand why someone would want to hurt her like this.

"Christina?"

She heard a second later. "Hey Brenda I need your help." She said in a teary voice.

"Christina are you okay." Brenda asked as she passed the open elevator and not seeing Tom get off of it, Tom heard Christina's name and followed Brenda, he knew something was wrong by the tone of Brenda's voice; as Brenda listened to Christina tell her what happened she couldn't believe it. "Okay I'm on my way out the door now meet me at my house; I should be there in twenty minutes." She told her as she headed to her office to grab her things.

"Brenda?" She turned to the sound of her name.

"Tom, hey!" She said in a surprising voice "sorry I don't have time to talk right now I need to be some where." She told him as she turned back around and continued walking down the hall. "Brenda please stop, were you just talking to Christina?" Brenda halted her step took a deep breath and turned back around, "yes I was, she needs help with something, Tom I really need to go." She told him as she noticed the hurt look on his face. "Look Tom I don't know what's going on with you and Christina I just know that both of you are my friends and right now she needs help with something I don't know what and I wont know until I get there but I need to go." Tom nodded his head. "Will you tell her I love her?" Brenda smiled and softly rubbed his arm, "I will." She turned back around and headed for her office.

Christina drove up right behind Brenda she got the kids out and Brenda helped her get them inside she sat them on the floor and gave them some toys.

"Brenda I want to thank you for all of this we'll only be here a few days if that's okay?"

"Christina you know you can stay here as long as you want."

"Mia please mommy doesn't want to play, baby please just go play with your toys." She told her as she sent her back over to where her brother was sitting. Brenda was taking notice of the agitated look on Christina's face.

"Okay Christina I have them, you need to sit down and rest, tell me what happened." Brenda said as she went over and sat on the floor with the twins.

"I don't know I went home after picking up the kids and my house was destroyed someone broke in while I was at work. Brenda they completely destroyed my house I mean there is almost nothing that is salvageable in it they cut up my bed."

"I'm just glad you and the kids weren't there, have you called Tom yet? He's worried about you." Brenda asked and the expression on Christina's face told her the answer. Christina took a deep breath and sighed. "You didn't tell him what happened did you?"

"No but he did kind of over hear me talking to you."

"I don't know if you knew but Tom and I have separated I haven't really talked to him in months if it's not about the kids i just don't have anything to say to him right now." "That explains it." she said in a low tone of voice. Christina turned and looked at her, "explains what?"

"Why Tom told me to tell you he loves you."

Christina took a deep breath. "Brenda my marriage is so messed up I'm not sure that Tom and I can get it back on track this time remember when I told you that Tom had an affair? Brenda nodded her head. "The night of the twin's party, Tom didn't come home until the next day he was with her and about three or four months ago she told him she's pregnant."

Brenda gasped at what she had just heard. "Are you serious Christina?"

"I wish I wasn't can you believe were due around the same time I have been hiding this pregnancy from him for months and I'm not sure I can do it any longer I just know I don't want him to know." Brenda just looked at her she took a deep breath, "Christina he has a right to know." tears started to fall from Christina's eyes. "I know I just…I just don't know what to do anymore I feel like I'm suffocating."

"Maybe what you need is to get away for a while and clear your head take some time to take care of you."

Christina looked over at Brenda with eyes full of tears, "your right that's exactly what I need once I take care of this insurance thing with the house, maybe I will."

After another sleepless night Christina still didn't know what she was going to do, she was over four months pregnant her husband was expecting a child by another woman and her house was completely destroyed. She wasn't sure how much more she could take she sat up on the side of the bed and looked over at her twins sleeping peacefully on the other side at that point she knew what she had to do; she was going to take Brenda's advice and take some time to clear her head, she dropped the twins off at daycare and headed to the hospital, she needed to make arrangement to go somewhere she wasn't quite sure where she was going she just knew she needed to get away.

"Good Morning! Ms. Hawthorne" Yolanda said as she followed her into the office.

"Good Morning! Yolanda how are you doing this morning?" Christina asked in a dry voice as she sat her things down.

"I'm good and yourself?

"I'm fine thank you for asking." Christina told her as she sat behind her desk putting her elbows on it and resting her face in her hands. Yolanda stood there for a minute taking notice of Christina's actions she didn't seem herself. "Ms. Hawthorne are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes Yolanda I am, just tired was up half the night with the twins.

"Would you like me to get you a cup of coffee?"

"No thank you I'll get a cup later. But Yolanda I do need you to do something can you get Garland Bryce on the phone for me please."

"Yes ma'am. Oh here are your phone messages, and don't forget there's a budget meeting this afternoon.

"Thank you Yolanda can you please remind me about twenty minutes before time.

"I will." she told her as she left the room. Christina sat at her desk until she heard the beep of the intercom, "Ms. Hawthorne Mr. Bryce is on line two." Christina hit the button "Thank you Yolanda" she told her as she picked up the phone. "Garland hello," she said as she started to tell him why she called. She explained her situation to him and that she needed to take some time off to handle everything that was going on in her life. He agreed that he would come and cover for the time she was going to be away she finished her conversation with him and made a few more call's making arrangements to rent a little cottage on the beach out at the shores.

**The right place for you, The right time for me**

A change of heart

As Christina sat on the beach of the Virginia shore's watching over her twins playing in the sand, her mind started to wonder to the first time she was willing to admit to herself that she was in love with him, she had often found herself glancing with a sweet smile in his direction longing for the soft touch of his hand on hers or the gentle sound of his voice to comfort her when things were out of her control, but it being the wrong place and wrong time she fought those feelings and buried them deep inside her it was a simpler place and time. Here she was now a mother of three with one on the way, a husband who she knows loves her unconditionally but has made a few mistakes of his own, all she wanted was to get back to that simpler time when they were overjoyed and extremely happy but she often wondered if they really ever were. She sat there trying her best to clear her mind and make sense of the situations that they have found themselves in and how her life had got so far out of control, in the last two years and a half years she had made so many wrong turns that she didn't know if there was a right one left to make.

"Christina?" a voice from behind her called out, she sighed "damn it what is he doing here?" she muttered under her breath and decided to ignore that he was coming her way.

"Hey Christopher, Tomia come back up this way please." She called to them as she glanced out of the corner of her eye to see him standing slightly behind her. "How did you find me?" She asked as he took a seat next to her on the blanket that she was sitting on.

"I took a guess."

"You took a guess," she replied with a smirk as she avoided eye contact with him, "or did you check the transactions on my card? What ever you came here for I'm not in the mood for it. What do you want Tom?"

"I want to know why you didn't tell me about the house?"

"What difference would it have made? And how did you find out about it?"

"The insurance company called me, they said they couldn't reach you they wanted to know whose name to issue the check in, I told them just yours and it makes a difference Christina."

"I'm sorry I know it does. And you didn't have to do that they could have put it in both of ours names."

"So what are you going to do about the house?" He asked as Mia and Christopher ran up to him hugging and pulling on him to come and play. "Hey guys daddy will come and play with you both in a minute, can I finish talking to mommy first." He asked as he kissed them both on the forehead. She took a deep breath and looked at him. "I don't know I just know I can't go back there."

"Christina you and the kids can take the condo, baby I'll find another place to go I'll stay at the hospital or something until I find a place and I'll take care of the house."

"Thank you. But Tom I couldn't put you out of the condo I couldn't ask you to leave."

"How about I take the couch the kids have their room and you…" he paused for a second as he glanced over he couldn't believe what he was seeing "damn it" he muttered under his breath as a shocked expression started to grow across his face he was a little pissed that she hadn't told him but he didn't want to up set her, he looked down at her belly that was now clearly showing he looked back up at her and then out towardthe sea. "When the hell were you going to tell me Christina? I can't believe you've been pregnant all this time and hiding it from me."

She looked over at him. "Tom I'm sorry I just figured you have enough to worry about you still have to deal with Jessica."

"Christina don't do that please, the only one I have to deal with is you and our family, how far along are you?"

"Ignoring the problem isn't going to make it go away! Face it Tom she's pregnant she's having your child… damn it." Christina said in an angry tone. "Don't you think I know that, I hate this I hate that I've put you and our family in this predicament and I know that when that baby is born I have to deal with it and on some level I have to deal with her but Christina I can't lose you, baby I need you." Christina sighed and looked at him. "I need you to Tom and I'm almost five months I didn't tell you because I found out the same day I found out about her." Christina took a deep breath "Tom I love you, I really do, I just…I think we…" was all she said before he cut her off. "Are you about to ask me for a divorce?" Tom replied as he looked from her to where the twins were playing in the sand. "See you're doing it again you're jumping to conclusions just like you did when you thought I told Antoine I was in love with Nick, baby why didn't you just come to me and confront me with what you thought I said? I just thought our communication was getting so much better.

"Christina I'm sorry I just heard those words and I got so angry all I could see was red I just wanted to forget the sound of your voice I made so many mistakes that night my biggest one was sleeping with her and if I could take it back I would, if I hadn't gone to that bar and got drunk, if I had just came home that night…"

"Tom I love you and I don't think that I could ever stop loving you, and maybe I should be, but I'm not asking you for a divorce I'm just trying to figure out how to work it out." She sighed as she stretched her arms out behind her she leaned back straightening her legs. "Are you okay?" "Yeah! I'm fine this one is just really active that's all." He looked back at her again; "may I?" she smiled, "of course you may." "Whoa! I love the feel of that; this one has a strong kick." He smiled in a laugh as he looked back up at her thinking how beautiful she was, and even more beautiful when she's pregnant, "are you sure you don't mind?" she smiled and reached up caressing the back of his head. "No baby I don't, I know how much you love rubbing my belly when I'm like this."

"Christina, I'm sorry. Baby I am so sorry for everything that I have put you through that I'm putting you through and I know that I don't have the right to ask you for forgiveness again, but I am and if you can't I understand but if you can I promise you I will spend the rest of my life doing my best to make you happy." She looked at him and smiled softly caressing his face. "Tom I wanna sell the house, I want us to move away from Richmond."

Tom looked at her with a huge grin on his face; "you said us" she laughed. "I know and I meant us all of us, we'll figure out a way to deal with Jessica together as a family." She told him as the twins came running back over to them. "Hey you two its time to go inside its nap time, hey babe can you grab their toys please." She asked him as she stood up shaking the sand out of the blanket. "Yeah I can." Tom went over and picked up all the toys and placed them in the bag that was sitting there, he came back handing it to Christina, he picked up the twins one in each arm and carried them inside. Christina cleaned the twins up and put them down for a nap she walked back into the living area were Tom was sitting on the couch with his eyes closed resting he looked exhausted. She paused for a few minutes and just watched him with a smile before she walked over and straddled his lap catching him off guard; he smiled as he opened his eyes and grabbed her hips.

"Are you sure you want to be sitting right there?" he asked as she giggled softly, "very sure." She told him as she leaned in and gently kissed him, "I've missed you so much, I love you Christina." "Shush… too much talking," she whispered in between kisses. "That's not what I want right now and we only have about an hour." She told him as she climbed off his lap pulling him to his feet and toward the bedroom.

Christina slowly opened her eyes and smiled he was sitting in the chair across from her. "Hey! How long have I been asleep?" He smiled and leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips, "about four hours." "Why didn't you wake me?" she asked as she stretched out a little. "Because you were sleeping so peacefully so I didn't want to wake you," Tom paused and lowered his head. "Tom what… what is it?" Christina asked in a concerned tone. "Its just you haven't gotten any rest with this pregnancy have you?" Christina smiled. "No not that much but were fine Tom I promise." Christina could see the pain and sorrow in his eyes and she just wanted to stay in this happy moment so she decided to change the subject. "Baby where are the twins?" "Their in the other room playing and dont worry I feed them and we had some daddy time. He told her as he stood up and sat on the edge of the bed tucking the loose hair behind her ear. "You're dressed; your not leaving are you? I don't want you to go." He smiled and leaned in and kissed her, "I was praying you would let me stay." He whispered softly in her ear as he kissed her softly again. "I love you Tom."

"I love you to, more today then I ever have."

**To Be Continued...**


	12. Secrets Unraveled

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

****Chapter Twelve** **

**Secrets Unraveled**

If I knew than what I know now

It was their last night in Virginia Beach Shores; they were enjoying a nice dinner on the balcony, enjoying each others company and the sound of the waves.

Christina looked so beautiful in the sundress she was wearing, so obviously pregnant and glowing. Tom couldn't help but admire her beauty and lean over to kiss her on the lips. "You are so beautiful Christina, I love you", Tom said in her ear. She smiled at him, rubbed his face and gently kissed him back.

She hated the thought of Christina touching him, he belonged to her and there was no way she was going to lose him, no matter what she had to do. Obviously the threat to her house was not enough; she was going to have to take even more drastic measure. Jessica continued to watch Tom and Christina's interaction from her spot on the beach behind some rocks. She had spent the week there watching them, talk, laugh and play with their children. "Christina enjoy your time with him, because it will be short lived, Tom and I are soul mates, and I was there for him when you weren't and we are going to be together again. I am going to show him you are not worthy of his love". She thought to herself and smiled with wickedness.

Christina rubbed her shoulders and shivered. "Are you cold Christina?" Tom asked as he got up and took her by the hand. "Yes, just a bit", she said as she took Tom's hand. "Lets go inside and sit by the fire; I don't want you to catch a cold". Tom guided Christina to the couch and sat her down. "I am going to make you some hot chocolate Christina, you sit back and relax" Tom said, as he kissed Christina gently on the lips and walked to the kitchen.

Christina took off her shoes and stretched out on the couch, closing her eyes and rubbing her belly. She was so glad Tom was with her they had such a restful week together; time alone they really needed to put everything into perspective. She had come to terms with Tom having a baby with another woman; all she could do now is love Tom and not feel resentment against innocent child. If her and Tom were going to make there relationship work she would have to accept this child. Tom interrupted her thoughts as he handed her the cup of hot chocolate, "here you go sweetie", he said with a smile. Christina sat up and grabbed the cup, sipped the foam from the cream Tom had put on top, "Thank you sweetie", she said in between sips. Tom picked up Christina's legs and sat on the couch placing her legs back on his lap. As Christina sipped her hot chocolate, she closed her eyes to enjoy it. She felt Tom rubbing her legs, and gave him a smile as she enjoyed the pleasure he was giving her. They finished their hot chocolate and Tom placed the cups on the end table next to him. Tom laid next to Christina, placing his head on her chest and his hand on her belly, rubbing it gently and feeling their unborn baby kicking at the feel of his hand.

Rage was growing inside Jessica as she watched Tom rubbing Christina's body. She had changed her position this time, to almost by the deck that they had just been sitting on. She had watched them make love earlier in the week and she wasn't sure she wanted to watch it again, although watching him naked turned her on and she could close her eyes and dream about the night she had him naked in her bed.

Tom looked up at Christina who still had her eyes closed and looking so relaxed, he gently placed kisses on her breast, over her dress and up her shoulder and neck, until he reached her lips. Kissing her gently at first, and realizing her body was reacting to his kisses he gently pried her lips apart with his tongue searching for the warmth of her mouth. She put her tongue into his mouth with such force and passion. Their kissing became so overwhelming to her that she whispered in his ear "Tom baby, make love to me one last time before we leave this amazing paradise". Tom smiled, "Gladly my love".

Before she new it, Tom had totally undressed Christina and he was paying deliberate attention to her belly, kissing and rubbing it. During this week she realized with this pregnancy this area had become extremely sensitive and turned her on anytime he touched her there. She moaned as gently placed kisses on the top of her round belly, "Tom you make me feel so good". She said as she caressed the back of his head. He continued his kissing of her belly and than went up to her beautifully enlarged breast and gently kissed both her nipples bringing an electricity through her body that she couldn't contain the moan that came out of her mouth. She sat up and undid his belt and started to unzip his pants bring his underwear down with the pants.

Both Christina and Jessica were admiring how good looking Tom was. Jessica wanted to come through the doors, and make love to him. But she knew that waiting and putting her plan in motion would get him away from Christina, and she could make love to him the rest of her life.

As Jessica, planned out her next move, she watched Tom make love to Christina again. Touching her body so softly and gently. Their bodies coming together as one and moaning unison as their bodies came to their complete pleasure together.

As Tom and Christina laid together in front of the fireplace, Jessica continued to watch her personal show. With contempt Jessica thought to herself, "Christina enjoy him now, your time is short", Jessica smiled wickedly.

After spending a relaxing week out at the shores, Tom and Christina finally made it back they had spent days talking and working on their relationship, and they both had decided that is was time to leave Richmond, and start over in a place that didn't know anything about them, they were going to sell the house but keep the condo for those times that they would come and visit. They would deal with Jessica and the baby as a family, this was not just his problem it was their problem. Christina was relentless on that decision, she wanted to make sure that Tom was there for that child just like he was there for their children she wanted their kids to know their brother or sister and that that child knew that he or she was loved no matter what. When they finally made it back to the condo she unpacked and settled in, she turned on her phone, she had several missed calls and messages two which were from Detective La' Shay. As she listened carefully to all of them she had decided she was going to return his calls tomorrow when she had a free moment in the morning, after she finished what she was doing she went into the other room to join Tom and the twins for there last night of their mini vacation.

Christina and Tom were standing in her office that Monday morning going over a few things when they both turned to a knock on her door.

"Ms. Hawthorne?" the medium tone voice filled the room. "Hi I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you, your secretary said I could come in." He explained as he saw Tom and Christina standing there. "Its okay please come in I was going to call you this morning I've just been a little busy catching up on some paperwork." She explained as she looked over at Tom, she was sure he was wondering who the gentleman was.

"Thank you. I have been trying to reach you for the last week." Christina smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry I was out of town I had to get away and clear my head." She explained as she turned toward Tom again, "Tom this is Detective La'Shay he's handling the break in at the house. Detective La'Shay this is my husband Dr. Tom Wakefield." The two men shock hands. "How can we help you Detective?" Tom asked wondering if he had found the person or persons responsible for the damage to their home.

"Well I was trying to contact you Ms. Hawthorne to ask if you knew someone by the name of…" he pause and flipped through his notepad for the name. "We did a canvass of your neighborhood and one of your neighbors noticed a car that she had never seen before sitting in front of your house for several hours she took down the plate just in case so we ran it and it came back to a..." he replied as he continued to flip through the notepad, Tom looked at Christina and she back at him as they both smiled. "Mrs. Ray." They both concurred simultaneously in a soft smile. "Ahh… here it is." he finally came across the name he was looking for. "A Ms. Jessica Bourjois?" Detective La'Shay was more then a little surprised by the expression on both of their faces when he mentioned the name, Tom took a deep breath and Christina just looked at him with a expression to suggest I can't believe this s***. "I take it that you know this person?" Tom looked at him then glanced over at Christina then back at the detective. "Yes I know her, she's a research doctor here at our cancer research center." By their reactions Detective La'Shay was getting the felling that there was something that they weren't telling him. "Have you spoken to her yet?" Christina asked noticing the expression on the detectives face. "Not yet." He replied still focusing on them with a subspecies unmistakable glare. "I will keep you updated on the progress that I make." He answered in a tone that gave Christina and Tom the feeling that he thought they were hiding something. "Thank you Detective La'Shay I… we both really appreciate that, and the time and effort that you have made to come out and talk to us." She told him as his phone started to ring. "Your very welcome, excuse me just one second I need to take this. La'Shay." He replied to the person on the other end of the phone as he walked toward the door to finish his conversation. "I'll handle that as soon as I leave here." He told them as he hung up the phone. "Sorry about that, like I said I'll keep you both updated on the progress I make as soon as I know something else I'll be in touch." He extended his hand once more and shook Christina's then Tom's. "Thank you detective." La'Shay nodded his head in Tom's direction. "Have a nice day." La'Shay turned and headed for the door they both watched him walk out of the room. Tom looked at Christina he didn't know what to say to her he had gotten them in to this mess he just wished he knew how to get them out.

After the meeting with Detective La'Shay Tom kissed Christina, and headed back to his office shaking his head in disbelief at what La'Shay had just told them. As he approached Margo's desk she stopped him and handed him a letter that someone had left for him at the front desk. Tom took the letter and thanked her. He walked into his office, he was still a little bit unnerved about this whole thing with Jessica, he hated himself for putting himself and his family in this situation but there wasn't much he could do about it now but make the best of a bad situation. As he took a seat at his desk he looked at the envelope that Margo had just handed him all it said on the front of it was Wakefield, he was wondering who it was from and why would they leave it at the front desk of the main lobby. Tom opened the letter and started to read it he got as far as "Tom I'm tired," but stopped as his office phone started to ring he wanted to give the person on the other end his undivided attention. "Dr. Wakefield." He answered and the voice on the other end brought a smile to his face.

"Stop worrying its all going to work out I promise," the voice said in a clam tone.

He smiled in a sigh as he leaned back in his chair, "I know it will as long as you're by my side. Is everything okay?" Tom questioned with a little concern in his voice.

"Everything's fine, I'm just sitting here trying to get some work done. The baby is kicking and I just needed to hear your voice again." She laughed and she could hear his smile grow on his face over the phone. "Good I made you smile, so how about we eat out tonight?" She asked him but by the silence over the phone she knew she had lost his attention for a moment. "Baby did you hear me?"

"Uh huh." Tom replied in a distracted voice as he read the letter in detail trying to get a full understanding of it.

_Tom, _

_I'm tired of playing this game with you ignoring me, and acting like me and this baby doesn't exist, it's been three months and you haven't even checked on how this baby is doing. I'm tired of waiting for you to be a man about this so I'm going to take matters into my own hands. I hope you and your wife had a nice time out at the shores, I see that you both worked things out and that's good for her but it could be bad for you unless you meet me today at the Paradise Diner on Highway Road at two o'clock. I know how hard it was for you when you and your wife lost your baby. I remember you telling me how bad it felt and I don't want to put you through that again but I will if you don't show up, I swear that you will never see this baby dead or alive, don't be late and don't test me I mean it, and make sure you come alone._

_Jessica._

"Yes Christina! Sorry sweetheart, dinner out sounds fine; I was just reading something. Chris I got a letter here it's from… damn it! I don't believe this s***." He stood up and walked around the desk.

"You got a letter from who? What the hell is it Tom?" Christina asked firmly.

"I got a letter from Jessica; well it was left at the front desk for me. Its telling me that if I don't meet her at some damn Paradisediner, I wont see the baby dead or alive. She wants me to come alone; she says she's tired of me ignoring her and the baby."

"Tom maybe we should think about fighting for full custody of the baby if she talking like this, I know between the twins and this one it might be a little hard at first with all four of them, but I think with us working together we can handle it." Tom paused, he knew the woman he'd married was special, Christina had her faults and she had done things that were unforgettable but so had he but this just proved how remarkable she really was, as he sat there he thought back to after she gave birth to their twins she told him she would never understand why he loved her so much. This is how I love you so much Christina! "You're willing to raise this baby with me?"

"Tom, baby were a family of course I am, I told you were in this together, I love you."

"Christina thank you for this. I know that this has to be one of the hardest decisions you have ever had to make. I love you." Christina paused on the phone she could feel him smiling and it brought joy to her heart. "No babe its not, it has been one of the easiest decisions I have ever had to make, I'm making this decision out of pure love."

"God I love you so much Christina, please don't ever leave me." Christina chuckled.

"Don't give me a reason to, now getting back to her, what are you going to do?"

"Go meet her. What else can I do, I don't want her hurting the baby."

"Okay just promise me that you will call me as soon as you get there and when your leaving."

"I will, and Christina how are we going to tell Camille what's going on?" Christina took a deep breath then exhaled. "I don't know Tom. We'll just do it together, explain it the best way we can we should do it sooner then later I think."

"Yeah I know." Hey baby that's the O.R we'll talk about this some more tonight I love you Christina." And with that he hung up the phone.

Tom had just finished up what he was doing when he took a look at the clock, it was a little before one. He called Christina to let her know that he was leaving out to meet Jessica and to try and reassure her that it wouldn't take long, he should be back at the hospital before she knew it. As he walked out of the hospital and headed for his car he stopped at the sound of his name.

"Tom wait a minute." A voice called out. He turned around to see Christina coming his way.

"Yes baby?"

"Tom are you sure you want to do this alone? Baby I'm just not sure about this."

"Christina its going to be okay its my turn to tell you to stop worrying, I'm just going to go talk to her it shouldn't take more then a few hours okay." He took her into his arms trying to reassure her as he kissed her on the forehead but he knew Christina, she was going to worry anyway. "I should be back before its time for us to leave then we'll go out and get some dinner okay," he told her as he got in the car she nodded her head. "Be back soon baby I love you Christina."

"Love you too baby be safe." Christina told him as she looked down at her phone going off, she took it from her hip and flipped it open, "Christina." she answered as she watched him drive off still with an uneasy and nagging feeling about this, but she trusted he knew what he was doing. Here she was being called into a last minute meeting, she sighed knowing that she would probable miss his call when he got there.

After arriving at his destination, Tom pulled into the parking lot of the Paradise Diner; it was about 40 miles east of the hospital right off of the highway. It was just a little before two o'clock, as he sat there for a few minutes before he decided to call Christina to let her know that he had made it there safely, the last thing he wanted her to do was worry even more in her condition. After dialing the number twice and getting nothing but her voice mail both times he decided to leave her a message on the last one.

"Baby I'm here you must be in a meeting or something this shouldn't take that long, I'll see you in a couple of hours. Christina stop worrying I love you." Tom closed the phone putting it in his pocket and stepped out of his car, he began walking toward the diner and looking around to see if he saw Jessica's, car but he didn't notice it anywhere in the parking lot, he decided to walk in and take a seat anyway, as he walked through the door he spotted her right off sitting in a corner booth near the back exit, as the waitress walked away from the table Tom paused for a second and looked around then headed for the table, Jessica smiled when she saw him coming her way.

"You made it; I hope you don't mind I ordered you a cup of coffee."

Tom looked at her wondering why she seemed to be so calm and relaxed and why she was drinking a cup as well. "Thank you, but should you be drinking that?" He asked concerned about the health of the baby just before taking a seat.

"Its just one cup Tom it's the first one I've had in months I swear and its decaf." She replied hoping that he wouldn't spend the little time they had together scolding her.

"So you want to explain the letter you left for me? What the hell were you thinking?" he whispered. "There are better ways of getting my attention then threatening the well being of my child." Tom replied in a harsh tone as he took a drink of the coffee she had ordered for him then giving her a glance to suggest if you ever leave me something like that again I'll hurt you.

"I'm sorry! But you haven't talked to me in months; I didn't know what else to do to get your attention." She replied in a little anger as she watched him take another drink of the coffee.

"Look Jessica I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you, mainly this baby and I promise that from now on I will step up but the next time you threaten that child your carrying, me and you, were going to have a bad misunderstand don't play with me or the well being of my child." he told her as he sat there looking at her with a little malice in his eyes. "Look this has been a lot to process a lot to adjust to for all that's involved, I know that that's not an excuse I know I have to have some kind of relationship with you we have to be at least civil for the sake of this child and I'm willing to do that. Christina and I both are but I will not tolerated you even attempting to use this baby as some kind of game do I make myself clear? I will be there to take care of my child but you and I, there is no you and I."

Jessica just sat there not saying a word and behind the smile she was giving him she was thinking to herself that there was no way in hell this was going to work out all happy like he wanted it to. "You've made yourself clear and I agree Tom we do have to be civil to each other and I want this to work out for all of us involved I just want you to be apart of this baby's life that's all I'm asking." Tom nodded his head as he took another drink of coffee. "And you do understand that Christina will be apart of this baby's life as well? She's my wife and I'm not leaving her for you or anyone else you need to understand that and another thing I wanted to know is why were you…."

Jessica had a feeling were this was headed so she interrupted his thought by answering his question.

"I know that, and I'm not asking you to Tom; hey I have something I want to show you, I bought some things for the baby I just want to get your opinion on them." She told him in a hurried tone as she got up from the booth and walked out of the back exit; Tom took another drink throw a ten on the table and followed behind her and the minute he made it over to her car he stumbled just a bit. "Hey! You okay?" She asked as she walked over to him.

"I'm fine but I think I need to sit down." He replied he was feeling unsteady on his feet.

"Okay! Her sit in the car she told him as she helped him into the passenger seat.

"Brenda?" he called out, but she kept walking she couldn't stop thinking about the implication on her part long enough to give him her opinion. Steve shook his head as he caught up to her, he was just about to make a comment on the overstated egos of some doctors who think they know everything when Christina rounding the corner her head buried in a file, she was so engrossed in what she was reading she wasn't paying attention at the two of them walking in her path, Steve grabbed her arms just in time to keep her from falling but not in time to stop her from stepping hard onto his foot. The file flew into the air landing all over the hallway floor, Steve made sure she was okay before turning away from the two of them. If he were less of a man he'd be screaming bloody murder at the top of his lungs and cursing the heels she was wearing right now at the excruciating pain that was radiating from his foot to the top of his head, he clinched his teeth as tight as he could as he squeezed his eyes shut hard to keep from humiliating himself by crying out, he finally opened his eyes. "Autsch." (Ouch) he said in a language that they didn't even knew he spoke but "bloody hell woman" was the phrase he was thinking. Brenda looked at Christina and they both looked back at him.

"Steve I'm so sorry are you okay?" Christina asked as she bent down the best she could to pick up the papers along with Brenda's help.

"I'm fine Christina," he finally managed to get out as he turned back around and bent down to help her and Brenda pick up the papers that had went all over the floor.

"Steve really I'm so sorry," she repeated again. "I should have been watching where I was going I just have a lot on my mind."

"I'm fine Christina really I am." He tried to reassure her as he handed her the last of the papers that were on the floor. "Oh and by the way where is Tom? I haven't seen him since this morning." He inquired just before his pager went off and before she could answer he looked down to read the text ER 911. "Hey ladies duty calls." He turned and headed for the ER. Christina looked at Brenda, smiled and continued to her meeting.

_Tom never considered himself a weak man but he knew when he had been beaten, he was thinking this was worse then his time in the gulf, when he opened his eyes, the first thing he was aware of just happened to be the mind-numbing pain in his head. The last thing he remembered was standing outside the diner next to Jessica's car feeling dizzy and unsteady on his feet, he wasn't sure when the blow to the back of the head happened. His head felt like it was on fire, and when he touched it he felt a warm, sticky substance. He knew it was blood, even though he could barely see anything from the dim light and the blurry vision, but he could make out the two large strange men in the room, one was standing over him, and one was sitting on the other side of the room staring at him with an intensity that if looks could kill he would certainly be a dead man right now. Tom gasped instinctively it hurt too much and he knew unconsciousness could overcome him again at any moment. But he'll be damned if he went out before he found out what the hell was going on. "Where the hell is Jessica?" he yelled his voice full of force and malice, he had to know before he succumbed to the piercing pain again. If there was any chance to get out of this, he knew that he had to try and stay alert and aware of the facts just incase he got an opportunity to get the hell out of there alive. "Never you mind that, she had some business to take care of, but she'll be back I promise you. Where here," the oversized strange man chuckled in a deathly laugh as he held some kind of weapon in one hand and hitting it in the palm of the other one, "to make sure you don't do anything stupid, and forget who your dealing with." _

"_Where am I?" Tom questioned hoping for an answer but not really expecting one at lease not the truth. "Where you are is not important, and none of your concern at this point. Just be happy you're still alive." Tom wanted to ask more questions but the ringing in his ears was reminding him of the numbing and intense pain coming form his head. _

"_You're awake?" a female voice said simply stating the obvious as she walked into the room in a nonchalant way, the tone of her voice was full of spite_. _Tom shot a wicked glance in Jessica's direction, to suggest did you think I wouldn't be. Things were still more then fuzzy but he couldn't believe what she was doing. "Damn it Jessica what did you do to me? And why?" He managed to mutter out as he tried to sit up so he could get a better look of his surroundings, but the slightest movements sent him crashing back down to the floor, a razor-sharp pain shot through the back of his head and neck again, he tried rubbing it as he shook his head trying to come out of the daze he felt himself in now, he blinked a few times trying to clear his vision to see Jessica and the two goons that were still standing there. "Are you okay Tom?" Her hateful voice asked behind a devious smile. Tom had never struck a woman before but this __**witch**__ that wasn't exactly the word he wanted to call her, he wanted to get his hands around her neck. "Why?" Tom asked, he wasn't sure he was coherent enough because of his silent screams of horrible pain now. Jessica just smiled, amused at the situation she had put him in, she laughed a little before answering his question. She was clearly getting a kick out of his predicament, she leaned over him got as close as she could. "Because I can Tom and you chose her over me that's why, and I don't lose __**EVER!**__" she screamed at him sending a rippling effect of agonizing pain through him before she stood up turned and left the room. _

**_To Be Continued..._**


	13. The Calm Before The Storm

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

****Chapter Thirteen** **

**The Calm before The Storm**

When danger becomes worse

It was well after five o'clock when Christina was stepping out of the elevator ready to head to the daycare then home, she had just gotten out of a last minute meeting that was called twenty minutes after Tom had left for his meeting with Jessica. She was startled when she saw Margo standing in front of her.

"Whoa! Margo? What are you still doing here? I thought you went home for the day I just stopped by a second ago looking for Tom did he ever return from his meeting?" Christina asked in a concerned tone.

"No! I haven't seen him since he left and I'm on my way home now." Margo replied as she stepped into the elevator that she was holding open.

"Okay thanks Margo see you tomorrow you have a good night," Christina said slowly wondering where the hell he was, "he should have been back by now." Christina muttered as she pulled out her phone and flipped it open to see two missed calls and a voice mail from him, she hit the button and listened intensely at the message he left.

"Hey." Bobbie called out.

Christina sighed and barely turned around as she nodded her head, with the phone still to her ear and her eyes fixed back on the elevator doors.

"Christina are you okay?" Bobbie asked as she stood behind her. "I was looking for Tom do you know where he's at?"

Christina finally turned around and closed the phone in another sigh, "Yeah I'm fine and he went to a meeting." Christina spat out in a concerned voice. Bobbie looked at her oddly she could see the worry in her face but she didn't understand why she seemed so worried.

"Christina are you sure you're okay? You don't seem okay" Bobbie asked again this time with a little more concern in her voice.

"I'm fine Bobbie, just a little worried about Tom that's all."

Bobbie still didn't understand her concern, Tom had just gone to a meeting she thought what was there to be worried about, and Bobbie couldn't help but think she was overreacting just a bit. "Christina I'm sure everything is fine the meeting probably just ran late." Bobbie tried to reassure her but could see the fear in Christina's face and now she was trying, desperately to figure out what was going on. Christina just stood there staring at her cell phone she had a nagging feeling that something was really wrong.

"I'm sorry I need to go," she finally said and walked off leaving Bobbie standing there to wonder what the hell was going on. "Baby where are you? Damn-it you should have been done with Jessica by now." Christina muttered to herself as she walked out to the car and dialing his number in the process but she got his voice mail again, she went around to the other side of the hospital and picked up the twins from the daycare. After making it back to the condo and getting the kids settled down she tried calling him again, and again it went straight to voice mail, something was wrong something was seriously wrong.

Christina wanted to call the police she knew they would take the report but she also knew that they wouldn't look for him until he was missing for at least twenty-four hours so she decided to report his car missing instead which it wasn't a lie it and he were missing.

After reporting the car stolen she started to pace the floor it was way after seven now and she didn't know what else to do, she had called his phone over twenty times since the first time she called, and his voice mail was the only thing she got. She finally feed and bathed the kids and put them down early when she decided that she needed someone to talk to she pulled out her phone but who could she call not everyone knew their situation and the one person that did know was Brenda, and she was dealing with some issues of her own, Christina closed the phone and started to pace the floor again, she opened her phone and called Kelly.

"Hey Kelly sorry to call you so late but I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"

As she listened to the young nurse happily say yes without even hearing what it was, she asked if she wasn't busy if she could come over to the condo and watch the twins that she needed to step out for about an hour. Christina listened again as Kelly told her she was on her way. She closed the phone and waited.

About twenty minutes later Kelly showed up as happy as a kid on Christmas day.

"Okay Kelly this shouldn't take that long their asleep and they should stay that way but if they do get up just take your thumb and index finger and rub slow circles behind their ears they should go back to sleep she explained as she grabbed her purse, and thank you Kelly for doing this I really appreciate it." she said as she walked out the door.

It was after nine when she arrived at the apartment building. When this whole thing started with Jessica Christina made it a point to know her home address, she stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for the 10th floor when the doors opened Christina went left searching for apartment 1072 she finally came across it and knocked a few times finally she heard a sound inside.

"Who is it?"

She heard Jessica call out. "Christina."

Jessica took a deep breath and smiled. "Just a minute."

Christina heard her say and about five minutes later she finally opened the door. "Jessica where is Tom?" Christina asked in a forceful tone.

Jessica just looked at her at first. "How am I supposed to know? He's your husband." Jessica replied a little sarcastically.

Christina shot her a look to suggest if I wasn't pregnant I would open up a can of whup ass on you right about now.

"Christina I'm sorry I haven't seen Tom since this afternoon if you don't believe me you can come in and check, but he's not here I left him at the diner around three o'clock."

Christina had always been good at reading people but she couldn't get a read on her she wasn't sure if she was lying or telling the truth, "If you see Tom tell him I said come home." Christina told her as she turned and walked away disappointed and more worried that something had happed to him. Christina knew that he hadn't started anything up with Jessica again that wasn't the nagging feeling she was getting it was something else.

Jessica closed her door and smiled in a vindictive and condescending way. "I told you Tom that I would make her life a living hell."

It was after ten when Christina finally made it back home and there was still no Tom she knew this because when she walked in the door Kelly was still there.

"Hey Kelly, thank you for keeping an eye on them for me I owe you a day off hell make it two paid days." Christina thankfully said as she went over to the sofa and sat down.

"Thanks Christina." Kelly over happily said. "Well I'm going to go if you don't need me any longer." Christina mustered up a smile. "I don't and thank you again Kelly you're a life saver I really appreciated it thank you again."

"Its no problem Christina you know how I love them, I'll see you tomorrow." Kelly exclaimed as she walked out the door.

Christina took a deep breath as she stood and walked over and locked it she had decided to try and get some sleep, she checked on the twins then went into hers and Tom's bedroom to get a few things to take a shower, when she was done she got dressed and climbed into bed, but she knew sleep wouldn't come easy if at all, she tossed and turned in bed if she wasn't up pacing the floor wondering if he was okay or not.

_He had been out for hours he wasn't sure how long he had been unconscious this time, when he suddenly started to come around. Tom opened his eyes slowly again, he was still lying on the floor in the dimly lit room, he was suddenly aware of his surroundings this time he noticed a chair, and in one of the corners of the room was a small table sitting next to a cot, and on the table what appeared to be some bottles of water and some energy bars or something, on the cot was a blanket in the other corner of the room sat a bucket. But something was different about this room. He was still in a rat-infested, damp and dimly lit building, but it was a different building he thought. It smelled faintly sweet, and he knew that smell hadn't been obvious before or maybe he just miss it the first time he came to. As he tried to get to his feet he braced himself against the wall, his hands hitting cold concrete that seemed to have a layer of dirt or something on it, he then looked toward the door he could tell it was metal even through the blurriness that he was still experiencing but it wasn't just any metal door it seem to have an opening on it smaller then a doggie door but bigger then a mail slot. Jessica must have had him moved. This wasn't good the more he was moved the harder it was going to be for someone to fine him. And the bad thing about it was he didn't even remember being moved to a new location if he had been moved. He did remember being hit over the head again, after charging one of Jessica's goons, it was hard to forget when his head was throbbed like a bad toothache, but what he didn't remember was the punches to the stomach and ribs, breathing hurt like hell and his side was killing him. Everything after the head blow went fuzzy. Tom groaned in pain more than a little bit annoyed and extremely agitated at this point Jessica and her two goons had the upper hand. His head felt like it was ready to explode. Before, when all he had was a cut, he had thought that the pain couldn't possible get any worse. Now that he had added injuries his earlier pain felt like a walk in the park. She was definitely planning something all of this was part of her crazy a** master plan to make him suffer._

As the night finally turned into morning she knew what she had to do, she got up and got herself and the kids ready, she dropped the twins off at daycare and then drove to the other side of the hospital. She headed for her office she was in such a rush she didn't see Brenda passing her. "Christina? Are you okay?" asked Brenda as she passed by her noticing she was in a daze. Christina didn't respond to the question and kept walking.

"Christina?" Brenda called her name again as she started to follow her back down the hall. "Christina! Are you okay?"

Christina finally turned and acknowledged Brenda standing there. "Did you need something?" Christina asked in a monotone voice.

"Christina! What the hell is wrong with you?" Brenda's voice went up an octave when she asked the question.

"Nothing!" Christina replied.

"Christina! Are you sure?" Brenda could clearly see that something was wrong.

"No! Brenda," Christina paused and walked closer to where Brenda was standing she took a deep breath as she nervously looked from one end of the hall to the other then back at Brenda. "Tom's missing I don't know where he's at I have been calling his phone all night it just goes straight to voice mail. He went to met Jessica yesterday to talk about the baby and he never came back to the hospital or home last night I'm worried."

Brenda looked at her in disbelief. "You think he's in trouble or hurt?"

Christina nodded her head.

"We need to do something, did you call the police?"

Christina just looked at her still in a semi daze state. "I reported his car stolen last night. I was headed to my office to call the detective that's been handling the case on the house to see if he could help in anyway, Brenda I'm scared really scared." She told her as tears started to form. "Okay Christina you can't break down, come on I'll go with you to call him everything is going to be okay, Tom's okay I'll handle his cases we just need to make things look as normal as possible." Christina nodded her head. "Your right and he's fine." She replied as they walked to her office.

After calling Detective La'Shay and getting his voice mail for the third time she decided to leave a message for him hoping that he would get back to her as soon as he could but she wouldn't get her hopes up.

****About an hour later. ****

"Ms. Hawthorne." The voice from the open door called out, Christina looked up to see Detective La'Shay standing in her office. **"**I'm sorry did I disturb you? Your secretary wasn't at her desk." Christina wiped the tears from her eyes. "No please come in and thank you for coming all the way over here I just assumed that you would have called me back."

"I started to but the tone in your voice had me a little concerned, can you tell me what's going on?"

"It's my husband he's missing; I think something happened to him." Christina replied as she grabbed another Kleenex out of the box off her desk.

"When did he go missing?" Detective La'Shay questioned, his first impression was he just went off and didn't want to be found.

"Yesterday afternoon, he went to some diner to meet with Jessica Bourjois."

"And why did he do that Ms. Hawthorne? What is it you're not telling me? Because yesterday I got the feeling I was missing something when I spoke with you and your husband." and the tone in his voice came off in a callousway

Christina looked at him with a stern look on her face and a teary voice. "What is that suppose to mean?" She asked with a tone of her own she knew what he was getting at what he was thinking by the expression on his face "I see how your looking at me you think he just took off?" His face turned from non worried to shock when she asked the question. "I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. Ms. Hawthorne I'm not trying to upset you, I'm just trying to understand why your husband went to meet with Jessica Bourjois?" Christina looked at him and took a deep breath she hated the situation that they were in but it was something she had decided to live with but it still didn't make it any easier trying to explain it to people. "He went to talk to her about the baby. And if your next question is, is he baby his, yes he had an affair with her she left him a letter yesterday telling him that he wouldn't see the baby dead or alive if he didn't show up, so he went to talk to her and try to work things out."

"Okay! What time was it when you last saw or spoke to him?" He asked as he started to jot down some notes.

"It was a little after one o'clock when he left to meet with her."

"Do you remember the name of the diner that he was meeting her at?"

"NO! I'm sorry but maybe he left the letter in his office."

"Okay! What I want you to do is make an official missing persons report at the 3-8, and then I'll take it from there I don't work missing persons but if I tie this into the case on your house I can work it." Christina nodded her head. "I can do that but I did report his car stolen last night." she told him as he took a few more notes. "Okay, actually that was a good thing to do they'll put it on the list for all the precincts to keep a look out for it. I'll need access to his office to see if he left the letter behind."

"Of course we can go there now." She told him as they headed out the door and toward Tom's office. Detective La'Shay walked in and looked around making sure that he did his best not to open any confidential files if he didn't need to, he looked over by the office phone and noticed a folded piece of paper that looked like a letter, he picked it up. "Ms. Hawthorne was the place your husband went yesterday called Paradise Diner on Highway Road?"

"Yes that's it." Christina answered as she watched from the doorway, he pulled out his phone and dialed a number. "Hey I have something I need you to do," he told the voice on the other end of the phone. "It's a place called the Paradise Diner on Highway Road, I need you to go and check it out and get back to me a-sap, I'm also sending you a photo and the make and model of a car the car is on our missing list," he motioned to Christina for the information on it, she quickly walked over and jotted it down for him. "Okay find out if anyone there has seen him or the car and get back to me." He told them as he ran off the plate number and model to them. "I'll call you back as soon as I know something sir." The voice told him before hanging up.

"Ms. Hawthorne I'm going to do everything I can to find out what happened to your husband."

"Thank you, I really appreciate that and the fact that you're not judging us."

"Well we all make mistakes sometimes, Ms. Hawthorne and we all deserve a second chance to make things right with those we love, were just human and I'm sorry about earlier."

"Its okay and it sounds like you're a man speaking from experience."

"Yeah I am, been in a similar situation myself and it was a long road back."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's okay and please don't be, it just makes you appreciate what you have that much more."

"That's the truth." Christina said with a smile.

"I'll let you know what I find out, just try and stay calm let me do the worrying for you okay." He told her with a smile as he rubbed her arm softly and left the room.

****A few hours later. ****

After his partner checked out the diner and found that Tom's car was still there, the waitress informed him that he looked like the man that was in the day before with a pregnant woman and he left with her out of the back entrance. After getting the information Detective La'Shay didn't want to tell Christina just yet he finally made a visit to the Cancer Research Center to find Ms. Bourjois. He was informed that he had just missed her she was gone for the day, he called his partner and told him to meet him at the home of Jessica Bourjois and that he was texting him the address. About thirty minutes later both detectives arrived at the high rise apartment building.

"Jessica Bourjois?" Detective La'Shay asked as she partly opened the door to her apartment.

"Yes. Who are you?" Jessica asked as she looked the two men up and down peeking around the corner of the door wondering what they wanted.

"Detective Scott La'Shay. RPD. My partner Alexander Bryan." He motioned toward his partner as they both flashed their badges.

"How can I help you gentlemen?"

"May we come in and have a word with you please?" La'Shay asked as his gut started twisting and turning in knots there was something about the way she was acting it was telling him that something wasn't right about her she was acting just a little too peculiar for him, he shot his partner a look. His partner gave him the same look and shrugged as they both looked back at the door.

"Sure give me a minute I'm not decent! I need to throw on something." She told them as she closed the door then came back a few minutes later. "Please, come in have a seat can I offer you anything?" She asked in a polite voice, her demeanor seemed to change from the time she closed the door to the time she came back and let the detectives in, "No thank you." They both said simultaneously as they took a seat on the sofa.

"So how can I help you gentlemen?" Jessica asked as she took a seat across from them.

"Do you know a Christina Hawthorne or a Dr. Tom Wakefield?" La'Shay asked. "Oh God why? Has something happened to Tom?" Jessica asked with worry in her voice as she put her hand over her mouth. Detective La'Shay was taken aback, he wasn't prepared for her reaction it was an odd question for her to ask, he looked at his partner then back at her. "And what makes you think that something happened to Dr. Wakefield?" La'Shay asked in an unmistaken tone wondering what she knew and what gave her the impression that something had happened to him all he asked was if she knew them.

"Well I just assumed since you're here that something must have happened to Tom, oh or his wife." At that point there was no doubt in La'Shay mind he was convinced that she was responsible for what was going on, the break in and the disappearance of Dr. Wakefield he decided to ask her about the break in first then come back to the last time she spoke with Dr. Wakefield, he was hoping to trip her up and catch her in a lie.

"Ms. Bourjois where were you on the 13th of this month? In the hours of 1p.m to 5p.m." Jessica stared at him for a second a little dumbfounded after he asked the question, she was a little shocked and surprised she wasn't expecting it she thought they were there to ask her about Tom's disappearances, she had to think back as she took notice of the look on his face she wasn't sure if he knew something or not all she knew is that she needed to answer the question like she didnt know what he was talking about.

"I was at work between those hours. I have proof I was there I have an alibi?" It came out of her mouth before she could stop it. La'Shay looked at her in an odd way why would she think she needed to prove it, only a guilty person would answer the question before being asked. She still didn't know why they were there or did she.

"Why do you think you need an alibi? And since were on the subject did anyone see you in those hours at work?" He asked as he took notice of her demeanor changing again he could see she was starting to get flustered.

"I'm sure some one did! What is this all about anyway?" Jessica asked she was starting to get a little more then agitated by his question.

"Your car was parked in front of Ms. Hawthorne's house for several hours on the day in question." Detective La'Shay could see that the statement caught her off guard again. Jessica eyes widen she thought she had been so careful she could have sworn that no one had seen her there that day. "Can you tell me why you were there?"

"Umm… I was… did you say the 13th of this month?" Detective La'Shay nodded his head.

"Are you sure it was my car?" Her tone was strong as she asked the question. La'Shay could tell she was starting to get a little defensive. She didn't anticipate that question. "Well if my car was there I must have been there to see Christina about something, I mean Ms. Hawthorne!" She rolled her eyes as she said it. Detective La'Shay looked at her he knew that she was responsible for the vandalism and unlawful entry to Ms. Hawthorne house by her reactions to the questions.

He glanced over at his partner who was taking notes and shaking his head. "Ms. Hawthorne didn't mention that you were there or that you were stopping by to see her." he told her, "That's because I had just missed her and she didn't know that I was coming over." She was praying that she was sounding convincing.

"I see. Ok that clears that up thank you for your time Ms. Bourjois." He said as he finished the notes he was taking and stood up and headed for the door, he turned around and looked back at her. "Oh just a few more questions I'm sorry I should have asked these earlier. "Dr. Wakefield when was the last time you saw him? Has it been recent?" He glanced over at his partner then back at her after he asked the question, he couldn't get her first response out of his head seemed more then odd that she would think something had happened to him.

"Umm… yeah I did yesterday, but it was for only a few minutes." She told them as she started to rub her belly." La'Shay looked at her he knew what she was doing trying to bring attention to her condition he smiled; he was willing to play along. "How far along are you?" he asked so he could bring a follow up question to who the father was. "Five months." She replied happily and with a bright smile. "I'm sure you and the father are overjoyed, is this you and your husbands first?"

"Oh were not married yet, were just waiting until after the baby is born and yes it's our first." She answered not realizing she was giving herself away. La'Shay looked over to his partner again then back at her he knew something wasn't right about this whole situation. "If you don't mind me asking what does your fiancé do for a living?" Jessica shook her head, "of course I don't mind, he's a researcher like me." She answered with a smile. "And his name? If you don't mind me asking." "No not at all. Tom, I thought you knew that."

"Okay I must have misunderstood, so when you saw Dr. Wakefield yesterday around what time was it?"

"It was around two o'clock."

"And can you tell me where you saw him?"

"It was out at our favorite place we go there all the time it's the Paradise Diner out on Highway Road." La'Shay's partners head shoot up from his notepad in surprise after the statement was made. He was told by the people in the diner that she had never been there before neither had Dr. Wakefield. And that they had left together in her car or the car she was driving at the time.

"Did you both drive out there together or did you take different cars?"

"Yesterday we went in different cars I had a doctor's appointment after."

"I see, so he doesn't go to your appointments with you?"

"No! He's much to busy for that."

"That doesn't bother you that he doesn't make time to go with you? I mean this is yours and his first child, I wouldn't hear the end of it from my wife what about you Bryan?" Detective Bryan looked up again from his notes. "Me too I had to be there for every appointment every ultrasound it had to be a death in the family for her to let me out of one, and I have three kids."

"I'm okay with it; I don't need him holding my hand at every turn."

"I see. So what time did you both leave the diner?"

"Umm…around three o'clock I went to my appointment then back to the hospital then home."

"So you weren't worried when he didn't come home last night?

"No! I just assumed that he stayed at the hospital last night he does that sometimes."

"I see. So it was three o'clock yesterday the last time you saw him?" She nodded her head and smiled. "Okay Ms. Bourjois again thank you for you time, you have a nice evening. Oh by the way can you give me the name and number of the doctor you saw yesterday?" Jessica took a long look at him before responding to his question it was another one she didn't expect. "I'm sorry, pregnancy brain." She paused trying to think of a name to give him. "What was the question?" She new if he checked with her doctor that they would tell him she didn't have an appointment yesterday. La"Shay looked at his partner as they both started laughing playing along with her. "Yeah we remember that oh so well. And the question was the name and number of your OB."

"Duh! Sure but why do you need to know that for?" She asked in a hesitant voice. "We just need to confirm that you were there at the time in question." Jessica eyes widen. "Ahh…I see. Okay well I have… let me find his card for you." Detective La'Shay shot his partner another glance after noticing her hesitation. "Just one second I know I have one somewhere in here." She said as she riffled through her purse for the OB's business card but was coming up empty. Jessica was trying to buy some time hoping that he would just say forget about it. "If you just give us his name we can look it up." The detective told her he didn't understand why it was so hard for her to find or give the name of her doctor he knew if a pregnant woman didn't know anything else she knew the name of her OB just in case something happened to her they would know who to contact, it just seemed a little more then strange to him that she was acting like she didn't know. "Well his name is Dr. Reed." She answered after a few minutes with a name off the top of her head. "And his first name?" La'Shay asked, he didn't understand what made her think only a last name would do.

"I think its Justin." La'Shay looked up from his notepad and shot her a look. "You think?" he replied with a little more then disbelief in his voice. "Yes! I'm not good with first names." She answered with a smile. "Okay can you give me his address or where his office is located? Jessica was now starting to get angry she huffed. "Its over in the medical building some where near VCU hospital I just know how to get there." She replied in a tone that didn't make any since to the detectives.

"I dont mean to upset you if you remember anything else please give me a call." He told her as he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out one of his cards and handed it to her. "You have a relaxing evening." Was the last thing he told her before they walked out the door and down the hallway Detective La'Shay turned to his partner. "I already know she has something to do with all of this."

**_To Be Continued..._**


	14. Missing in Plain Sight

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

****Chapter Fourteen ** **

**Missing in Plain Sight **

A mile in her shoes

Christina stood frozen in the doorway of Tom's office taking deep breaths with her arms folded across her stomach looking around the room, she couldn't believe that it had been five days and there was still no word on Tom's where a bouts, and she wasn't sure how much longer she was going to be able to hold it together or keep up these pretences that everything was okay. Christina shifted her gaze to a picture that now sat where their wedding photo use to, it was a family photo of all of them after the birth of the twins, she hadn't noticed it before but Tom had several photos of their family scattered around his office, as tears started to fall from her eyes she prayed that he was okay and that he came back to her and their family, she told everyone that Tom was attending a conference it was the only thing that she could think of to keep the curiosity down as to where he was, she had given Margo the rest of the week off and Brenda was handling all his cases, no one in the hospital but Brenda knew what was really going on. She closed the door and turned around,

"Oh My God!" She jumped and placed her hand on her chest, she was startled by a dark haired man standing behind her holding a manila envelope in his hands; it took Christina a second to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you." The soft spoken stranger said with a subtle smile. "I was looking for a Christina Hawthorne the lady down the hall said I could find her around here." The strange man said suspiciously as he looked down both ends of the hallway and Christina followed his gaze wondering what or who he was looking for and why he seemed a little more then paranoid, her first thought was he was a psych patient from the eighth floor who had lost his way, but she also was wondering why he was looking for her.

"I'm Christina Hawthorne and you are?" She inquired in a slow but soft and firm tone, she didn't want to get him more ratted then he seemed to be just in case he wasn't all there.

"My name…my name and who I am, that's not important just know that I can help you."

Christina paused and looked at him in a curious way. "Help me with what?" She asked him with more curiosity in her voice then the look she had just given him; she was more intrigued to know what he was talking about.

"I can help you find Tom." The stranger replied in a low tone as he repeated the act of looking down each end of the hallway before and after he spoke. Christina stood there paralyzed for a moment just staring at the man she quickly got control of herself; she needed to know what he knew about Tom. She shock her head, she had to believe what he was telling her no one knew that Tom was missing but she had to be sure he was telling the truth.

"Who said that Tom needed to be found?" She asked hoping that he was being serious about knowing where Tom was at.

"Everything you need to know is in here but you need to hurry I'm not sure what she's planning to do to him next." He told her as he handed her the manila envelope he was holding and before Christina could get "who is she" out of her mouth he yelled in a harsh but low tone. **"Open it!" **he insisted as he looked both ways again. Christina flinched at the tone of his voice as she looked at him then down at her hand.

"Okay!" She replied, as she started to open the envelope the man took off in a hurry toward the nearest exit, Christina looked up to see the man enter the stairway. "Hey wait!" Christina yelled after him but by the time she made it over to the stairs he was gone, unfortunately at that end of the hallway there where no security cameras just other offices, she stood at the stairwell door and pulled out the contents of the envelope, it was instructions on how to find Tom and at the bottom of the note it said if you don't believe me just look at the pictures. Christina took a deep breath desperately praying that her worse fears weren't about to come true. "Oh God No, please No!" She screamed in a silent cry as she went through the photos of Tom, one by one they slipped from her hands to the floor, he was lying in a dark room badly hurt, deathly pale and he looked as if he had been beaten black and blue, her heart jumped through her chest and her body started to go lifeless as she held her stomach with one hand and bracing herself against the wall with the other one, Christina was panicking her chest was pounding, more like tightening her throat was closing she was gasping for air, she felt faint and a bitterness in her mouth her eyes were filled with unshed tears and she was desperately trying to catch her breath she didn't even notice that Brenda and Steve had walked up.

"Christina are you okay? What the hell is wrong?" Brenda asked as she and Steve looked to the floor and saw the photos of Tom. "Oh God Christina." Brenda quickly picked up the photos as Steve helped Christina inside Tom's office he sat her down and pulled Brenda to the side.

"What the hell is going on I thought Tom was at a conference?" He whispered in a harsh but low tone so Christina couldn't hear.

Brenda took a deep breath, "Okay look Tom's been missing for five days we…" Steve cut her off before she could finish telling him.

"What the bloody hell do you mean he's been missing, five days did you call the old bill?" Steve asked as he looked over toward Christina she was a wreck physically and emotionally.

"Yes they know she reported him missing." Brenda said as she paced the floor thinking as she watched Christina break down even more. "Wait! Christina where is your phone?" Brenda asked in a panic of her own.

"What are you doing?" Steve asked. "I'm calling the detective that's handling the situation with her house."

Steve paused for a second. "What situation with her house?"

Brenda searched Christina until she found her phone, she flipped it open and went through her contacts until she found Detective La'Shay's number, she knew that he had been helping Christina with all of this, he answered on the second ring she explained who she was and what was going on, he explained that he would be right over to pick up the photos and the note. "Okay he's on his way." she told them as she closed the phone.

"And what the bloody hell are we supposed to do now?" Brenda turned from Christina and looked at Steve.

"We act like nothing is wrong, that nothing is going on until Tom is found."

_Tom could hear voices talking in the other room but he couldn't make them out as he started to come around yet again, everything was dark in the room that he was in now, he tried desperately to remember what day it was or how long he had been in that room all of his memories were jumbled up. Tom did remember Jessica and the two men and a lot of damn pain. But the rest of his thoughts seemed to be behind a cloud of fog, almost impossible to access. His head was still pounding beyond belief, his ribs ached, and his side was twisted in knots of pulled muscles, he touched the back of his head, and cried out in a silent gasp of horror and pain. He was experiencing major problems, his vision was impaired, he was nauseous, and definitely a little incoherent. It took Tom a few seconds to remind himself how to sit up; this wasn't normal brain activity at all. Neither is feeling like your head was going to erupted like a volcano at any minute, and having an inability to access simple thoughts easily. He knew what was wrong he had a concussion. _

_On the other side of the door sat Jessica with one of her goons, "Where did you go earlier? I came back and you were gone." _

_Now very agitated the unknown male nervously pacing the floor. "I went out had to take care of something. What the hell are we doing we can't keep him here forever it's been five days." He kept saying over and over, "how did I let you talk me into this?" _

_Jessica stood up from the chair she was sitting in and walked over to him grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him. "one because I'm paying you. Look clam down and get a grip I have this all planned out now shut up and sit down." She yelled at him as she pushed him toward the chair. _

"_this is your plan? your crazy as hell." He yelled back. "This is not what I signed up for your on your own with this, I thought we were just supposed to scare him not all of this." He told her as he headed for the door he wanted out of this crazy ass scheme of hers he didn't care how much she had paid him at this point. "What are you doing?" The man asked when he turned and saw her going toward the door. _

"_I'm just going to see if he's okay and you need to be behind me." She walked over to the room and walked in._

"_Good morning, Tom. Did you sleep well?" Jessica asked as she flipped on the dim light in the room, Tom jumped at the semi brightness which increased the pain he was feeling. Ever move seemed to cause more agony__**. **__She stood there watching him with a smile on her face and evil laugh in her voice. _

_Tom did his best to gather his thoughts. "Not exactly the finest bed and breakfast, but I'll live." Tom retorted with a cracking, in his voice full of pain he had finally regained enough of his senses. Jessica's deceitful chuckle filled the tiny room, and Tom winced from the hateful sound in her voice all he could think of was Christina his kids and how he wanted to kill this vindictive bi***, he knew she was seriously enjoying this just a little to damn much at his expense._

"_That has yet to be determined Tom, but can I let you in on something I'm having a wonderful time aren't you? I will almost be sad to see it come to an end. But, like all great things, the fat lady has to sing, and another thing they will never find you, so I really don't have anything to worry about." And with that she left the room laughing. _

_Tom watched as she and the _very _agitated unknown male left he knew his fate was in her hand and if she had her way he would never see his wife and kids again, __**or was it.**_

Brenda, Steve and Christina sat in Tom's office waiting as patently as they could for Detective La'Shay to show up it took everything in Brenda and Steve to keep Christina from storming out after calming her down, she had kicked in to Christina mode and was pacing the floor, she was more then determined to go and look for Tom herself.

"Look I can't just sit here like this he's out there we need to go and find him." She said in a stressful voice.

"Christina we need to wait on the Detective we don't know if this information is real do you know how many warehouse there are?" Brenda tried to stress, "you can't go running out that door…" Brenda wasn't able to complete her thought when they heard a knock at the door and watched it open. "Thank God you're here." Brenda expressed as Detective La'Shay entered the room.

"I got here as soon as I could." He looked over at the two women and the gentleman in the room, "this one wants to go looking for him in her condition."

"I need to go and find him Brenda, he's my husband what am I supposed to do? just sit here." She asked as Steve handed the detective the photos and the note. As La'Shay looked over the photos and the note he took out his phone and dialed a number.

"You can't go Ms. Hawthorne you need to stay here I can't allow you to come, please the minute I find him I will call you I promise." He told her. "Hey I need you to get a tact team together and a K-9 unit over to this address a-sap." He told the person on the other end of the phone as he ran the address off to him, "It has to do with that missing person case we were talking about this morning," there was a pause that fell over the room detective La'Shay listened intensely to the voice on the other end of the phone. "Yeah that's it I'll meet you there," he told the person as he hung up the phone. "Ms. Hawthorne please stay here where I know your safe if I'm worried about your safety out there I wont be able to find Tom and bring him back to you, I can only worry about one of you at a time, as soon as we find him I promise you I will call you." He expressed with sincerity in his eyes, as he softly rubbed her arm and headed for the door. Christina could see the worry in his eyes, as he left the room he pulled out his phone again he needed to have EMTs on stand by at the location. Christina, Brenda and Steve could hear him talking to someone again as he walked away, as much as she hated being strongly urged to stay at the hospital, Christina understood Detective La'Shay reasons for pleading with her to stay there, he wasn't sure what condition he would find Tom in and a over emotional pregnant woman was the last thing he needed to have to deal with.

Two hours later Detective La'Shay his partner the tact team a K-9 unit along with an ambulance and EMTs arrived at the location that was on the note. It was warehouses among warehouses on the outskirts of the city in one of the old forgotten abandoned warehouse districts. "Damn it! Its to many" La'Shay expressed as he looked over the note again trying to figure out exactly where Dr. Wakefield was being held, there wasn't enough time or daylight to search each and every building they needed a fixed location or a miracle, as they started searching the first building and went on to the second and a third by the time they got to the forth one daylight was gone and La'Shay's Captain was ready to call off the search for the night and try and pick it up again in the morning hours, La'Shay lowered his head how was he going to go back and tell Christina that he had to leave her husband out there for another night.

Christina was going out of her mind with worry pacing her office floor it had been hours and she still hadn't heard a thing from Detective La'Shay, it was well after seven o'clock she didn't know what to do with herself, Brenda had taken the twins home with her just in case they found Tom she was scared to go home to an empty house but she didn't want to be at the overly quiet hospital either the deathly silence was driving her more insane, she needed something to take her mind off the worse the stress that she had been under wasn't good for her or the baby but what could she do she was scared to death, Christina sat there for another second before taking out the radio from her bottom drawer she needed something to calm her nerves, she turned it on and the first thing she heard was _**Alone in a room…**_she new the song it was _Open My Heart by Yolanda Adams_as the song played Christina sung the words aloud… _It's just me and you…I feel so lost…'Cause I don't know what to do…Now what if choose the wrong thing to do…I'm so afraid, afraid of disappointing you…So I need to talk to you…And ask you for your guidance…Especially today…When my life is so cloudy…Guide me until I'm sure…I open up my heart…My hopes and dreams… Are fading fast…I'm all burned out…And I don't think my strengths gonna last…So I'm crying out…Crying out to you…Lord I know that you're the only one…Who is able to pull me through…_as the song came to an end Christina folded her arms across her desk broke down and prayed for her husbands safe return.

They had been searching for hours La'Shay had talked his captain into letting them search one more warehouse before he pulled the tact team back in for the night when a call came over the radio that a unidentified car was approaching one of the buildings, La'Shay told everyone to hold back and let see if this was the person or persons that was holding the missing man as the car approached the building across from the one that they were about to search they all watched as a unknown man got out of the car and walked into the building they waited until he was inside before the tact team La'Shay and his partner stormed inside this wasn't a ordinary warehouse it was two floors filled with rooms this had to be why the kidnappers chose it. They knew it would take forever to search it.

"RPD drop your weapon and get against the wall with your hands up." La'Shay yelled, the oversized man looked around and realized that there was no way out he dropped the weapon that was in his hand and held them up into the air as he leaned face first against the wall. La'Shays partner went over and hand cuffed him, "Where is Dr. Wakefield?" La'Shay questioned in a tone that was harsh and disturbing.

"You want him look for him cop." The huge man replied in an angry laugh.

"Get him out of here." La'Shay yelled as he paused for a second and looked around the building. "Damn it!"

"Good luck finding him." The man called back as he continued to laugh as they took him out the door.

"Okay let's do this." La'Shay yelled as he his partner and the tact team stood there for a second. "Okay where looking for a room that's in a room with a metaldoor with an opening in it. ok! Everyone spread out lets bring this man home to his family." La'Shay yelled as he motioned one of the officers to hand him the bullhorn. "Dr. Wakefield are you in here?" The detective yelled through it, and the other officers followed his lead yelling out Tom's name room by room by room.

"Dr. Wakefield If you can hear us make some noises if you can." About fifteen minutes later one of the officers found a room that fit the description of the room on the note he was hoping it was the right one considering it had a padlock on it. It was on the second floor of the warehouse all the way in the back. "Dr. Wakefield are you in there?" The officer yelled out, "I need this door opened up here!" he yelled down to the officer with the bolt cutters. The officers and La'Shay started for the room when the heard another officer yell that he had found the room it was on the bottom floor of the warehouse, they all stopped in their tracks.

"OKAY WE NEED ANOTHER SET OF CUTTERS IN HERE." LaShay said motioning to one of the officer's standing by the door, "Bryan take these guys here and him." He nodded toward the door referring to the officer who had just walked into the building with another set of bolt cutter in his hands, "and check out the other room I'll take this one."

"Dr. Wakefield are you in there?" La'Shay called out and he could hear detective Bryan yelling the same question.

Tom could faintly hear voices yelling in the other room but again he couldn't make them out or understand what they were saying, he had been drifting in and out of consciousness, everything was still dark in the room that he was in he tried to sit up but the overpowering pain to his head and ribs was still so profound that his entire body shook, he fell back into the cot hitting his head and sending a new wave of excruciating pain through him he gasped instinctively as the overwhelming rush of pain took him almost in to an unconsciousness state. Tom knew that it was easier to just lay there and not move and pray that some one would find him and soon.

As they popped the locks on the doors at the same time and flashing lights around the dark room searching for any sign of him half the tact team and detective La'Shay all took a deep breath and exhaled.

"we got him." One of the officers yelled out of the room. "We need a medic in here," was the next thing he yelled out Tom was found lying on the cot barely conscious he was in bad shape. The EMTs rushed into the room with a gurney. "Sir do you know your name or where you are?" the EMT asked as he flashed a light into Tom's eyes trying to see how dilated his eyes were. Tom tried to forced himself to focus on the EMT's and their questions, but it was no use the pain from his head and other body injuries was just to overwhelming. The EMTs pulled in the gurney and placed Tom on it and rushed him out of the building, "Hey wait how bad is he?" La'Shay asked in a very concerned tone. "Well the bleeding from the cut stopped that was good he didn't loose a lot of blood he's dehydrated, sleep and food deprived the tenderness and bruises to his side suggest that he had been assaulted over and over to the ribs but the blow to the head is what's really concerning me detective he has a concussion." The EMT was trying to explain to him. "What I want to know will he be okay?"

"Detective? You're asking me to…" and the man paused as he took notice of the expression on La'Shays face. "If we get him to the hospital he should make a full recovery, but I need to get him out of here, he needs medical treatment now."

"Okay! Go. Take him to James Rivers his wife works there.

"We can't do that it's over an hour a way VCU is closer."

"Fine I'll let his wife know."

After getting Tom out of the warehouse Detective La'Shay took out his phone, he took another deep breath and called Christina.

Christina was finally sitting at her desk after pacing the floor for hours doing her best not to start crying again and talking to Brenda on her office phone when her cell phone started to ring she looked down to see who it was, her heart started beating fast more like pounding through her chest.

"Brenda its Detective La'Shay, oh god, oh god Brenda what if its bad news he's calling me about."

"Christina you won't know until you answer it."

Christina took a deep breath and laid her office phone down on the desk she picked up her cell and flipped it open pushing the button fearing the worse.

"Hello!"

"Ms. Hawthorne."

"Yes Detective." Christina answered in almost a cry she knew that he could hear and feel the overwhelming pain in her voice of her worst fear coming true.

"It's okay! I'm calling to let you know we found your husband, he's on his way to the hospital by ambulance I also want to warn you that he has been hurt but the EMT assured me that he should recover from his injuries there taking him to VCU. I'll call you tomorrow to check on the both of you please try and get some rest." Was the last thing the detective said before hanging up the phone not giving Christina time to say thank you.

Christina took a deep breath and then a sigh of relief that Tom had been found she flipped the phone close as unshed tears filled her eyes; she picked up her office phone. "Brenda they found him but he's hurt he's on his way to VCU I need to get over there I'll call you later kiss my babies for me please and thank you for taking care of them for me I really appreciate it."

"Your welcome Christina and don't worry about the twins just take care of Tom and I'll see you both in the morning." Brenda told her as she hung up the phone. Christina stood up and gathered her things and headed for her car. Christina's soul was far from peaceful, and she fought to control her emotions while she headed over to the other hospital, If she allowed one tear, it would surely be followed by a downpour, she couldn't dare to bring herself to imagine what he had been through or what kind of condition he was in, so she forced herself to think of something else, anything else she knew she needed to stay strong for him. Christina finally made it there; she sat in the car for a few minutes taking deep breaths trying to compose herself before getting out. "Everything is going to be okay Christina; he's going to be fine." She muttered to herself as she walked across the parking lot to the main lobby.

After waiting what seemed like a life time for the charge nurse to find his doctor and getting a full understanding of his condition Christina was allowed to see Tom, she took another deep breath and tried to brace herself but her body felt like it was in a daze and it was just going through the motions of it all, she turned the knob and entered the room slowly shifting her eyes into Tom's direction she couldn't believe that her husband was laying in another hospital bed, he was laying there with his eyes closed if she didn't know any better she would have just thought he was peacefully sleeping. But she new better she faintly recalled the doctor explaining to her that he had been drifting in and out consciousness since they had brought him in and the pain medication that he was on was also making him sleep.

The room seemed quiet more like still and cold Christina walked toward his bed, suddenly reality set in, when she heard the beeping of the monitors as they filled the room, she had tuned them out almost automatically when she entered. When she thought about everything he had been through in the last five days her heart started to break and tears started to flow from her eyes. "C'mon Christina, he's going to be okay." She whispered as she wiped her eyes and took an instinctive step closer to his bed. Christina shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts wondering why someone would do this to him to Tom of all people, she slowly and softly took a seat on his bed she knew what she had to do, she wiped her tears once more before she spoke to him.

"Hey, sweetie. I'm here now, I was so worried about you Brenda took the kids home with her for the night so it's just you and me." Christina said as she positioned herself next to him wrapping herself around him taking one of his hands into hers she began gently caressing it, to ease her discomfort and pain of seeing him like this as much as his. "I talked to your doctor and don't worry they said that you will fully recover from your injuries with some time and rest I assured him that I would make sure you got plenty of it when you get out of here," Christina chuckled. "and you know how persistent and relentless I can be when I want to." She said in a soft tone and a smile as they laid there.

She talked to him for hours, about any and everything, about her plans for them the twins, Camille, the new babies that would be apart of there family and their future, she even talked to him about sports of all things hockey, she knew he would get a big kick out of that knowing that all she ever did was lay in his chest with her eyes closed when a game was on, but little did he know she was paying attention when he tried to explain the game to her. She smiled at the thought, she was just so happy to see him, to be next to him to be able to touch him that tears started to fill her eyes again she didn't want to step away. A small but significant part of her was terrified that if she let go just even for a moment he would be back in that horrifying place.

**_To Be Continued..._**


	15. Who Stole the Cookie, Caught Red Handed

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

**Who Stole the Cookie, Caught Red Handed**

Only on prime time

After speaking with Christina, Detective La'Shay opened his phone again and made arrangements to get a crime scene unit out to go over every inch of the place. The only concern now was to find anything they could to tell them who was behind this. As he walked around the room that Tom had been held in, with a flashlight and wishing he had full lighting he flashed across something in the other room. He started walking toward it, they were laying by the leg of the table, two square hard plastic objects laying on top of each other, he picked them up, and placed them into individual evidence bags.

Detective La'Shay looked at them for a long time he smiled, hoping this was just what he needed to help nail the kidnappers ass to the wall. After having latent's pull the prints from the two objects and comparing them to the prints from his B&E and getting a few positive matches he went to the DA. Not 24 hours later Detective La'Shay had a signed warrant for the arrest of one Jessica Bourjois in his hands.

"Jessica Bourjois?" The Detective said as he walked through the double glass doors of the Cancer Research Center.

"Yes! what is it this time?" she bitterly replied as she looked up from what she was doing to acknowledge thepresence of the two detectives that were now standing in front of her, looking from one to the other and noticing the expression on their faces she knew that this couldn't be good. She stood there with a weak smile and her hands in her lab coat pockets staring back at the two men, she had a few things running through her mind, had they found out that she was the one that had destroyed Christina's house, that was the only thing they could be there for she was more then sure that they hadn't found Tom. "Do you have more questions for me or something?" She asked in a soft and un-rattled tone. All though she wanted to head for the nearest exit.

"We need you to come with us." The detective demanded in a forceful voice.

"And what if I refuse to come? She responded now with a little agitation in her voice, we can talk in my office if you need to ask me more questions." She replied in a tone that Detective La'Shay didn't appreciate, as she folded the notepad she had been writing on and looked around the room to see her colleagues looking at them with curiosity. Detective La'Shay glanced at her after following her eyes from around the room, as he licked his lips and not in a seductive way but one to suggest that he didn't give a damn what she wanted.

"I'll tell you what." he leaned in closer to her and whispered in her ear. "You either come on your own or I will drag your non pregnant pretty little ass out of here in cuffs. Jessica eyes widen as big as the sea at his statement she diverted her gaze back to him.

"You thought I wouldn't check out your story do a deeper back ground check on you, lady your sick and you're going down you will spend the next fifty years in a state penitentiary, I will make it a point to help convict your ass to the wall." Jessica looked at him with a smug and vindictive look she knew that he had nothing on her; he was just trying to intimidate her to see if she would break. "So tell me? You want to do this the easy way or your way?"

Jessica swallowed hard and her voice cracked giving him the impression that she was scared. "Can I at least get my purse and coat please?" he nodded his head and gave her a gesture that it was okay, she turned and walked toward her office with an arrogant smile on her face. He watched her walk over to another room incased in glass and grab her things, he knew that she thought they had nothing, but little did she know they had all they needed. The ride to the station was a silent one, Detective La'Shay looked over his shoulder a few times and noticed that Jessica was lost in her own thoughts as she looked out the rear passenger side window, he knew she was contemplating the things she had done and trying to anticipate the questions that they were going to ask. Not a half an hour later Detective La'Shay and his partner arrived at the station and escorted Jessica into one of the integration rooms.

Tom opened his eyes slowly, he thought he was dreaming, the first thing he saw was pure whiteness. He blinked a few times as he tried to clear the fogginess from his vision, he blinked again and felt a soft touch on his hand. He turned to his left and saw a beautiful vision, Christina was curled up fast asleep next to him. He wasn't sure where he was or how he got there or how Christina came to be lying next to him and the more he tried to think about it everything was just a haze of bright lights and colors; it actually hurt his head to think about any of it. Tom tried to sit up in order to get a better look around the room he was now being held in but the overwhelming pain of his head and other injuries sent him collapsing back into the pillow which woke Christina.

"Hey sweetie your awake." she said softly as she kissed him gently on the cheek then his forehead.

"Where am I?" he asked in a soft whisper as his body screamed out in agony he felt horrible, worse then when he was hit with that mini van and thrown five feet into the air then into a brick wall, no horrible was a understatement, that was putting it mildly he also felt a bit confused. "Baby you're in the hospital, but your going to be okay, your doctor said you just need lots of rest and some time to heal." Tom glanced over at her for a second before turning his head out of her direction, "how long have I been here?"

"Just a day baby." she replied Christina was getting an uneasy feeling.

"Christina I want you to do something for me." Tom asked still focusing on the opposite side of the room.

"Sure sweetie what do you need me to do?"

"I want you to leave." Tom announced with a little hesitation in his voice as he shifted away from her pulling his hand out of hers as he turned his head making sure not to make any eye contact.

Christina paused and sat up, a terrified look spread across her face she was shocked more in the area of stunned at the words that had just slipped passed his lips. She couldn't believe what she was hearing surely it was the pain and the medication that was talking she thought so she brushed it off. "C'mon, Tom you don't mean that baby I'm not going anywhere I know you've been through a traumatic ordeal but I love you."

"Christina please!" The tone of his voice was harsh. Christina could feel the involuntary tears start to roll down her face just that quick, she didnt understand, and she wasn't quite sure why. Maybe it was that he was persistent, a little to persistent that she leave the room, along with the look of torment on the face of the man before her, the man she loved more then life itself.

"Please have a seat." Detective Bryan gestured his hand toward the empty single chair that was sitting across from the table. "Can I get you something to drink or eat?" Bryan asked. Jessica nodded her head no as she folded her arms across her chest taking a seat in the chair as she looked away from him, she was more then agitated and a little annoyed that she had been brought down to the station like some kind of common criminal.

"Okay then I'll be right back." He turned and left the room for a few minutes leaving her alone to think about why she was there. Detective Bryan, La'Shay and their Captain stood on the other side of the two way glass watching her calm demeanor, they were all wondering why a woman of her prestige would go to such extremes to get a man that clearly didn't want to have anything to do with her.

"So have you told her why she's really here?" Captain Bernard asked, standing with both hands in his pockets he looked over to Detective La'Shay watching as he shook his head.

"Not yet but I'm pretty sure she knows why she's here, but she thinks we have nothing on her, that we can't tie her to any of this, what I don't understand…what I would really like to know is what was her plan? Was she going to steal a baby and pass it off as her own or did she have another plan?" La'Shay questioned himself.

"Well there's only one way to find out. Just make sure you two do this by the book, we don't won't this getting tossed out on a technicality. La'Shay I don't want you questioning her just yet. Bryan, go and Mirandize her." Captain Bernard nodded his head toward the door to suggest go do it now.

"Yes Captain." Detective Bryan turned and moved toward the door he placed his hand on the knob and counted to three and walked in, it was just something he did before walking into a room with a closed door it was some kind of OCD he had. Jessica looked up from playing with her hands and placed them flat on the table, she was sort of surprised, she was expecting La'Shay not his side kick, his errandboy.

"I was expecting your partner, he's seems to be the one with all the questions and answers, what are you? His side kick or just his keeper?" A deceitful smile spread across her face with just alittle too much overconfidence in her voice when she said it.

Bryan huffed just a bit at the implication. "He's a little busy at the moment so you have me, _Jessica Bourjois you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney and have them present with you at the time of questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney one will be appointed to you before any questioning if you so choose. You can decide at any time to exercise these rights and not answer any questions or make any statements. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?" _Jessica just looked up at him smiled and nodded her head. "Ma'am I need you to verbally tell me that you understand. _Do you understand each of these rights I have explained to you?" _Detective Bryan repeated.

"Yes I understand my rights." Jessica smiled again with confidence that she wouldn't be there that long; she would answer their stupid ass questions and be on her way to inflict just a little more pain upon the objected of her obsession.

"_With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak with us now?"_

"Yes, sure I have nothing to hide." she replied with another deceitful smile and more cockiness in her voice as she sat there thinking to herself 'I have heard of dumb cops but these two take the cake.'

Tom closed his eyes he didn't want to hurt her, he just didn't like seeing her like this, the pain in her eyes and on her face was killing him more then the agonizing pain of his injuries.

"Christina go, please get out, I don't want you here." He screamed at her. Temporarily forgetting his current condition, he tried to roll over onto his side to avoid the heartbreaking pain that was filling the face and eyes of the women he loved. The pain was like a hot knife cutting through frozen butter; it was sharp and seemed to be a never ending rage of agony which set the monitors off. She stood up from the bed and backed away as a nurse and the doctor ran into the room to check on him, silent tears continued to fall from her eyes as she turned to face the window then back at him, she couldn't understand why he was pushing her away.

"Get her out of here please." Tom yelled as they tried to calm him down.

"Who! Your wife?" the doctor asked in a surprising and confusing voice as he looked over at Christina standing on the other side of the room by the window crying.

"Yes."

"Tom please, why are you doing this?" she asked behind falling tears.

Tom gritted his teeth in pain, "Get her out." he yelled again. The pain tore through like rage of waves crashing on rocks, the doctor stood up, he looked at Tom then over at Christina before taking a deep breath and walking over toward her.

"Ma'am I think it would be better if you stepped out, the longer you stay the more agitated he's going to get, I'm sorry." Christina looked at his doctor then back over at Tom.

"Tom please don't do this please don't shut me out, Tom I went through this hell with you, do you think the last five days had been easy for me? Baby I love you please don't…"

"Get her out." he tuned just a little too much, he yelled out again this time in what she thought was agonizing pain until she noticed how he was looking at her, his eyes stabbing her in the heart. Christina felt completely and totally helpless. "Ms. Hawthorne please; I'm sorry but can you please leave." The doctor asked as he took her gently by the arm. "Let go of me!" Christina cried out as snatched her arm from his grip, as she watch Tom's terrifying gaze. Pure agony and fright echoed through her body, she couldn't ease his fear without leaving the room entirely. Christina knew that he was hurting but this was killing her also as her tears fell she reluctantly did what he wanted and stepped out of the room.

"Christina!" Brenda called out as she and Steve approached her noticing the desperate look of fear on her face. "Are you okay?" Christina shook her head as she wiped the new falling tears from her eyes. "He wont let me in there, he kicked me out."

"Who won't?" Brenda asked, kneeling down next to her, she wasn't sure that she understood what Christina meant by her statement.

"Tom! He told the doctor not to let me in his room." She sniffled and blew her nose into some Kleenex, she was holding, as the tears ran down her face. Brenda just looked at her, she didn't know what to say to help her friend.

"Brenda where are the twins?"

"I sent them and Cara over to Kelly's for a little while. Steve and I wanted to come and check on you and Tom." Brenda quietly said as she turned just a bit on her tiptoes and looked up at Steve for any kind of sign of what to do.

About twenty minutes had gone by. Jessica was getting a little tired of sitting in that room, she started to lift herself from the chair when she and Detective Bryan, looked toward the door, as it opened.

"Detective La'Shay, I was wondering when you were going to grace us with your presents again, I was starting to get a little worried about you." La'Shay entered the room with a smile and an evidence box in his hands, he looked over at his partner then took a seat across from her as Detective Bryan stood by the wall.

"So Ms. Bourjois, may I call you Jessica?" Jessica looked at him suspiciously wondering why he wanted to be friendly now and call her by her first name. Did he think that he could trip her up, get her to confess to some kind of crime or crimes or did he think he could get her to confess to kidnapping Tom. Really did she look that stupid, she thought to herself as she sat there calm and collected with her arms folded in front of her.

"Sure why not can I call you by your first name?"

La'Shay chuckled a bit. "Sure you can call me Scott if you like."

Jessica just smiled politely but smugly when he said it she was being sarcastic and he knew it.

"So the disappearance of Dr. Wakefield? According to a reliable source you're responsible for that and a few other crimes."

Jessica leaned forward and slightly chuckled. "Is that so? And what reliable source could that be, his wife? I wouldn't call her very reliable detective, you know a man in your position should get his facts straight before you go accusing people of crimes of any kind." Leaning back into her chair as a calculating smile started to appear on her face this was just confirming her first assumption that he had nothing on her, "hell this was like taking candy from a baby." She was so confident she happily awaited his next question.

"Uh okay." He nodded his head as he sucked his teeth then smiled back at her; he glanced over at his partner for a second then back at her. "But just to let you know a man in my position wouldn't come in here and make statements like that if he didn't have some kind proof of your involvement in the disappearance of Dr. Wakefield and other crimes that have been committed agents him and his family." La'Shay replied calmly giving her another smile to suggest that they had her dead to rights, he couldn't wait to wipe that smug ass grin off her face.

Jessica leaned forward again placing and folding her hands across the table and stared him in the eyes. She knew with that statement he was just trying to rattle her like he did the night he questioned her in her apartment. "And if you had proof of that I would be under arrest right now wouldn't I detective, you have NOTHING!" She replied behind an evil smile as she glanced over at his partner then back at him, she was pretty good at reading people and by the expression on his partners face she knew she was good as gold.

"Its funny how a woman in your position would think that?" La'Shay surprisingly smiled in a laughter.

"Okay then? Tell me what you have on me? Other then I faked a pregnancy, there's no crime in that." Jessica had a fool proof plan, so she thought, she was going to set up a week long trip and call Tom from some undisclosed location, that he couldn't get to and tell him that she went into premature labor and the baby was stillborn. She would come back all distraught over the loss of their child and he would comfort her by actually making love to her and this time she would actually conceive their child. She had it all worked out until she saw him and Christina on the Virginian Shores playing with their kids and making their marriage work. She knew then that there was no way her plan would work now.

Steve looked down at Brenda and nodded his head, he knew what he needed to do, he turned on his heels and headed for the nurses station. He wanted to talk with Tom's doctor before going in and seeing him. No sooner had he thought it Tom's doctor appeared, Steve stood there for about ten minutes listening to the doctor explained his condition. Then the doctor turned and headed for Tom's room.

"Can you ask him if he's up for some company?"

Tom's doctor turned and nodded his head as he and the nurse finally entered the room.

As the nurse came out she nodded to Steve. "As soon as the doctor is done he said you can go in." Steve nodded his head and thanked her. With a gentle smile she said "But please don't stay long, he needs his rest."

Steve smiled back, "I'm a doctor I know not to stay to long, but thank you". He was not arrogant when he said it. Tom's doctor finally emerged from the room a few minutes later. "You can go and see him now." Dr. Simpson said as he left the room head over to the nurses station. Steve nodded his head and walked toward the door.

He entered Tom's room quietly. He took a deep breath as he saw his friend lying in the bed full of black and blue bruises. He came closer and Tom tried to give him a "Hey Mate." But the words barely came out of his mouth, Steve gently placed his hand on Tom's arm, "Its bloody good to see Mate just sit back and relax. How are you feeling?" With sarcasm in his voice, Tom announced, "Like I have been beaten to a pulp."

"Sorry Tom," Steve replied with sympathy in his voice as he took a seat in the chair across from him. Steve just looked at him and Tom could tell he had something on his mind.

"What is it Steve?" Tom asked as he shifted just a bit trying to get a little more comfortable.

Steve took another deep breath, "Who did this to you? And Tom when I got here, I saw Christina out in the hallway, she said you threw her out, what happened?" Steve asked with a bit of disappointed in his voice, "Christina has been worried out of her mind since you went missing; all she wants is to be by your side."

Tom looked from his friend to the ceiling closing his eyes and biting his bottom lip feeling a sudden sharp pain in his side. "That b**ch Jessica did this to me." He said through clenched teeth with malice in his voice, "and I know Christina does Steve," Tom grunted just a bit in more pain just thinking about what happened, "I don't want to talk about what happened to me and I really want Christina here, but I just cant let her see me this way, I feel so damn guilty for what has happened. For putting her through this hell in the condition she is in, how do I look at her and how do I make this up to her," Tom answered in an almost tear filled voice. "Mate, I don't think she wants you to make anything up to her, she just wants to be with you, and know that you are really back with her, don't shut her out now. You both need each other. Remember the last time you guys did this dance, it almost cost you, your marriage." Steve sternly looked at him, he had a lot of concern for both of his friends.

Detective La'Shay just looked at her oddly, he was still tying to wrap his head around what she had done.

"Your right, faking a pregnancy isn't a crime, it's just sick if you ask me, I just wonder why a person of your means and education would do a thing like that, what did you expect to gain from it? Dr. Wakefield's unconditional love, did you think he would leave his wife? Or is that why you tricked him into meeting you at that diner so far away? Maybe he found out you were lying about being pregnant, look my partner and I are here to help you, but you have to be willing to help yourself."

"I didn't trick him in to meeting me anywhere." she replied harshly but she knew trying to explain that to him was irrelevant considering the situation she was in, sitting in an integration room was the last place she had ever expected to be. "And for all I know he still thinks I'm pregnant, and you and your partner are not here to help me please! Who do you think you're fooling? Detective do I look like a criminal to you? I'm in the business of saving lives I took an oath to do no harm."

La'Shay just looked at her he knew by her tone that she didn't like him implying why she had decided to fake a pregnancy he was pretty sure she had a plan as to how it was all going to play out but something went wrong with her plans. "Lady I read the letter you sent Dr. Wakefield you tricked him, matter of fact I have it." He reached over and pulled it out of the evidence box that was now sitting in the vacant chair next to him Jessica's eyes widen. 'And I quote.' "_**I swear that you will never see this baby dead or alive, don't be late, make sure you come alone.**_Did you not send this to him?"

"Yes! I sent it to him but it still wasn't a trick."

"Then what the hell was it?" La'Shay yelled as he slammed his hands on the table, Jessica blinked as she jumped in response to his reaction, he stood up and turned to his partner and a second later Detective Bryan left the room. "So you want to tell me what really happened to Dr. Wakefield? It's just you and me in here now." He replied with another half smile that suggested not to waste his time anymore as he walked around the table and sat down on the edge of it right next to her chair. She looked up at him with a little malice in her eyes "I told you I don't know what happened to him." she yelled out in anger.

"Okay you want to play it like that?" he walked back around the table and sat down. "I was trying to help you but since you don't want my help I'll tell you what, see we have you partners in crime, their in another integration room and the first one to 'sing' will get the deal from the DA the second and third will get oh I say fifty years more like life. I'm sure their giving my partner a full confession by now." La'Shay announced with a little cockiness of his own as he looked from her to the door.

Tom glanced back over at his friend he knew what Steve was saying was the truth but he just didn't want to think about it anymore so he decided to change the subject, "Steve how long have I been missing?" Tom asked with more then a little concern in his voice.

"Five days." Steve answered as he looked down to the floor then back up at his friend.

"Damn." Tom muttered under his breath. "Steve I need you to do something?" Tom asked as he shifted again and with a little pleading in his voice. "I need you to talk to Dr. Simpson and get me transferred over to James Rivers."

"Tom do you think that's a good idea I mean your still not ready you've only been here what a day…not even a whole day maybe you should stay and rest VCU has great doctors and nurses on staff here." Steve protested. "I know that, but Steve please just do this for me I want to be at James Rivers." Tom replied, Steve just looked at him and stood to his feet he knew as he pleated with his friend that he didn't like the idea that he was in an unfamiliar territory.

"If that's what you want Mate", Steve answered hoping he could fulfill his friends request. "I'll go and talk with your doctor and see what I can do, but know I'm not promising you anything, I'll tell the doctor I'll hold myself fully responsible for anything that happens". "Thank you, Steve, I owe you one", Tom gave Steve a slight smile as he thanked him. Steve headed for the door to find Tom's doctor. Before Steve could open it, he heard Tom call him back, in a faint voice, which was all Tom could really muster at that point. "Yes, Tom", Steve said, in a questioning voice. "Can you please ask Christina to come back in", Tom asked with sadness in his eyes. "Absolutely Tom," Steve replied with a nod of the head in approval as a smile appeared on his face. As Steve entered the hallway, he was practically attacked by Christina and Brenda. "How is he?" both the ladies asked simultaneity. "He's fine," Steve reassured them with a bright smile."Christina he wants to see you and he wants to be transferred to James Rivers." Christina took a deep breath as she looked over toward Brenda then back over at Steve. "Is he healthy enough for a transfer Steve?" Christina asked with concern in her voice. "I'm going to talk with his doctor; I'll personally be part of the transfer. Christina, he's scared of being away from his surroundings, again." Christina sighed and headed toward the door she turned and looked at Steve. "I know you'll do what's in his best interest Steve, please go talk with his doctor, I just need to see him now." Brenda softly rubbed Christina's arm and told her that she was going to call Kelly to check on the kids. "Thank you both for being such great friends; I don't know what I would have done without you two."

"Just know we love both of you" Brenda said as she hugged Christina this time. Steve smiled, and rubbed Christina's arm gently, "you're both going to get through this". Christina smiled at them both, she turned toward the door and prayed that he didn't get upset and kick her out again even though he asked for her.

Jessica smiled at his statement as she followed his eyes toward the door, he looked as if he was waiting for someone to burst into the room with some overwhelming evidence of proof he needed.

"You really want me to believe that you have some so called accomplices of mine in another room that's funny because I don't have any." She calmly said, she knew he was trying to rattle her.

La'Shay chuckled. "Do you really think I would tell you that if it wasn't true?"

"Of course I do, you're a man aren't you? That's all men do is lie, always telling you what they think you want to hear."

"Is that what Dr. Wakefield did tell you what he thought you wanted to hear or did he tell you the truth that he wasn't leaving his wife and family for you?"

"You know what I'm tired of playing this game with you if you have something on me that will connect me to the disappearance of Tom if he's really missing or these so called other crimes please enlighten me if not I'm leaving."

"Lady the only place your going is lock up." he explained as pulled out square plastic card placing it face down on the table along with a mini cassette player and popped in a tape.

"I guess you think you're scaring me with that?"

"No! I don't. However, if I was you I would be just a little scared and a lot curious to what could be on that tape. If it was me I would wondering if its a full confession of your plans to kidnap Dr. Wakefield or is it just a ploy, a ruse to get you to talk and confess to me?" he asked as he turned the chair that he was sitting in around folding his arms across the back of it. "I can play it for you if you like, we can listen to it together." He smiled at her and she just sat there. "Or you know what I could do?" he asked as he stood up and walked over toward the door. "I can have my partner or as you put it my side kick my keeper bring in one of your partners how about we bring in Mr. Blackman or would you rather we bring in Mr. Hawkins." La'Shay asked as he folded his arms across his chest and opened the door to the room they were sitting in.

Christina took yet another deep breath as she turned the knob on Tom's door she slowly entered the room and watched for a second as he lay in bed with his eyes closed. He opened his eyes slowly and gave her a faint smile, "Christina please come here". Christina approached his bed, with a bit of apprehension. He stretched out his hand for her to take and she took his into hers, as tears welled up in her eyes, "I love you Tom", she said softly. "Christina, I'm sorry for asking you to leave, I just didn't want you to see me this way, I'm so ashamed about all the strife I have brought into our family, and putting you through all this anguish, and especially in your condition, I love you and I never meant to hurt you."

Christina smiled, nodded her head in a gesture that she knew as she walked closer toward him, she gently took a seat on the side of the bed and kissed his hand softly.

"Christina I acted so selfishly, when I started this relationship with Jessica, I wanted your attention, and instead of coming to you and talking, I shut you out and went to someone else," Christina looked down then back at him. "for some reason it seems to be our MO, to shut each other out, Tom I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, to give you what you needed baby, this is all my fault if I…" the tears fell faster from her eyes.

"No sweetheart its not." Tom gently wiped her tears. "This is all on me, I am so sorry, Christina, I hope you can forgive me someday", grabbing Christina's hand tight as tears continued falling more rapidly than he ever thought was possible. "_Tom, I love you, and I am just so happy I have you back with me, I don't care what has happened, I just want you to fully recover and come home to our family". She kissed him gently again this time on the lips and he kissed __**her back it was a feeling neither one them though they would ever feel again.**_

Jessica hadn't realized how much trouble she was really in until that moment, her eyes widen as big as saucers at the mere mention of their names, at that point she clearly knew that they were aware of everything and that they had found Tom. She had two choices, she could confess to everything or ask for a lawyer which she didn't think would do her any good at this point with them finding the tape, her ID along with Tom's testimony she was sure to go away for a very long time there was no way in hell she was getting off Scott free.

"I told you at the beginning of this that I wasn't a man that would come in here and ask questions that I didn't already have the answers to, so do you want to me what happened or I can go down the hall and let your partners confess to their involvement. And from what my partner just texted me they are willing and ready to make their statement to the DA," as he started out the door.

"Stop!" Jessica said nervously. Her plan had come to an end and so had her freedom at this point. "If I talk what am I looking at?" What's going to happen to me?"

"That would be up to twelve juries the judge, oh and two alternates but right now Jessica Bourjois you're under arrest for the _**K**__idnapping, __**A**__ttempted murder, __**A**__ggravated Assault, __**B**__reaking and entering, __**V**__andalism, and __**D**__estruction of __**P**__ersonal __**P**__roperty_." he told her as he walked over pulling her from her seat, placing handcuffs on her.

Steve knocked lightly on the door and walked in the room interrupting their moment together. "Sorry mates", Steve said with embarrassment in his voice, "but I talked to Dr. Simpson, and we all agreed he will only transfer you in the morning, he wants to make sure you don't lose consciousness in the next 12 hours. Brenda is going to be your primary once you arrive at James Rivers. Tom nodded his head in agreement before he and Christina thanked Steve, for everything he did. "I'll leave you guys, and will be back in the morning to help in the transfer," Steve said with a smile. "You hang in their mate." Christina looked at Steve with another warm smile then back at Tom. "I'll be right back I need to talk to Brenda about the twins." She told him as she stood from the bed. Christina walked Steve out of the room and ran into Brenda as they were rounding the corner to the elevators. "Hey we were just coming to find you how are the twins," Christina asked praying they were not fussing too much with Kelly. "Kelly said, they are doing well, and are currently eating their dinner."

"I just want to thank you both so much for everything you have done for Tom, for Me, for this family, you are truly great friends," Christina said, as she hugged the both of them, crying with both tears of relief and joy. "We'll be back in the morning Christina, and don't worry, I'll take the twins to daycare, and Kelly said, she'd keep an eye on them and pick them up after her shift,"

"Will you tell her I said thank you, when this is all over I'm going to have to give that girl a raise along with week off with pay. Brenda chuckled, as she hugged Christina back. Both Steve and Brenda headed for the elevator and Christina watched them as they got on and the doors closed behind them. She was so grateful for the amazing people in their lives.

**_To Be Continued..._**


	16. Sweet Revenge Lies With You

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

Chapter Sixteen

**Sweet Revenge Lies With You**

There Are Other Ways for Him Say I Love You

Christina was driving into James Rivers when her cell phone went off, she opened it and realize it was Camille, Oh, shit, "Camille, honey, Hi. Can you take a cab to the hospital, I really need to talk with you about something but I'm in the middle of a meeting. I am sorry". Christina said with guilt, as she pulled up to her parking spot at James Rivers, and saw Steve heading in her direction. Camille, realized she didn't have her mother's attention, worried, she asked, "Are you okay, mom?" "Yes Camille, I'm fine, please just grab a cab, and meet me here at the hospital," she said with agitation as she closed the phone not saying good bye. She knew she had been short with Camille, but she didn't like the look on Steve's face as he approached her. Christina, unbuckled her seatbelt and slowly got out of the car, the expression on his face told her everything she needed to know, she didn't let him say a word "Steve what's wrong?" She asked as she pushed passed him. Steve gently put his arm on her shoulder, "Christina, stop, I need to talk with you first".

"What is it? What happened Steve?" She looked at him with tears now forming in her hazel eyes, she knew it was bad, really bad and she wasn't sure she wanted to hear what he had to say, but she knew she had to. She took a deep breath and let him speak. "He flat lined on the way down here," Christina's heart dropped to her feet at his words. "Oh God!" she threw her hand over her mouth. "Christina we have him stable now, Brenda is with him." "God Steve when will he get a break" Christina cried on Steve's shoulder. "Come on I'll get you some juice and find out what is happening with Tom", he put his arm around her shoulder and walked her into the hospital.

Brenda had already stabilized Tom, and sent him to ICU, for the night. She was rounding the corner when she saw Steve and Christina. "How is he Brenda", Christina asked as she reached her. "He's stable, and resting in the ICU, you can go up and see him now. "Thank you Brenda", Christina said with a slight smile, and suddenly hearing a voice that sounded familiar, "Mom!" Camille said approaching them. Christina turned around and Camille, stopped in her tracks when she saw her mom. "What the…", Camille couldn't even finish her sentence. "When were you planning on telling me mom", she asked as she reached her and placed her hand on her mom's belly. Christina hugged Camille, "there are so many things I have to tell you, let's go into my office". Christina turned around and looked at Brenda, "Will Tom be okay, while I talk with Camille"?

"He's sleeping right now, so you will be okay, he is being monitored closely and I'm going back up now, to check on him again. I promise, if there are any changes I'll call you", she said with a reassuring voice. "Mom, what's wrong with Tom", Camille asked with alarm in her voice. "I will catch you up on everything in my office, let's go", Christina put her arm around her daughter and they walked towards the elevator.

Christina and Camille walked to her office in silence, but Camille was anxious to find out what was happening. Why hadn't her mother told her she was pregnant, and what was wrong with her father. As they entered Christina's office, and closed the door, Camille turned on her heels, "Tell me what is going on, why are you hiding things from me, why didn't you tell me you were pregnant"? Christina walked to her desk and picked up her messages that her secretary had left for her. "Mom, don't do that to me, I am a big girl now, don't treat me like a child, I can handle whatever you have to say", she sat down in a chair in front of her mom. Christina new she was buying her time, how was she going to explain all this to her, she didn't want her to lose respect for Tom, but she guessed if she had to lose respect for anyone she would have lost it for her when she found out about her affair with Nick. She was an adult about that situation and even helped her out, she guessed Camille was mature enough to understand the situation going on now, with her, Jessica and Tom, without judging. Christina took a deep breath, and turned to face her daughter, leaning against her desk, grabbing it with both hands, and saying a little prayer that this conversation would go well.

"In the last several months things have been hectic and gotten out of control. I was busy with work, and the twins, and apparently I took Tom for granted. He felt the need to spend time with a new doctor in the hospital, a woman", she felt like she was spitting out venom, when she got ready to say her name, "Jessica, her name is Jessica. Tom ended up having an affair with her. She told Tom she was pregnant, and I asked Tom to move out". Camille's eyes flew open wide,: "what is it with you two, why can't you get it right, and what hell do you mean she's pregnant, you're BOTH pregnant! By him? I'm going to have to more siblings?" Camille demanded. "Yes, Camille, we are both pregnant. But she didn't finish there, we think she vandalized the house…." Camille Interrupted Christina. "You think she broke into our house, Mom, what the hell is happening, has she been arrested?"

"No sweetie, we don't have all the proof yet, but we do have her for kidnapping we think", as her eyes began to water. Camille, jumped from her seat and yelled, "Kidnapping, who did she kidnap, and mom why didn't you tell me all this before".

"She kidnapped Tom, she asked to meet him to talk about the baby, and he was found five days later in a warehouse, beaten almost to death. That's why he is in ICU. I am sorry for not telling you sooner Camille, but I didn't want you to worry you, being so far from home." Camille hugged her mom, "Mom, I'm sorry you are going through all of this, and especially in your condition. By the way were are Mia and Christopher?", Camille asked with concern in her voice, wondering if anything had happened to them. "Don't worry, they are in daycare, and Kelly has been watching them while Tom was at VCU, which was close to the warehouses, the detectives found him at." "Mom, I want to see Tom, please", with tears welling up in her eyes for all that her family was going through. "Let's go, I'm sure he'll be glad to see you", they both left Christina's office and headed to the elevators. Camille's head was spinning with all the new information her mother had just told her, but she didn't want to judge anybody, she just wanted to be with her family and offer them the support they needed. She was hoping to talk with them about her dating Marcus again, who she had reunited with in New York. He was doing an internship at Sloane Kettering and they had seen each other at a restaurant one night and had been spending time together ever since. She would have to wait to talk with them about this till everything was settled with Tom.

They both walked into Tom's room quietly as not to wake him up. Camille stood next to Tom and kissed him on the forehead. "Mom what did they do to him? Is he going to make it?" To both of their surprise, the next voice that was heard was not Christina's but Tom's. "I took a beating, but I am going to keep on ticking Camille", he smiled at her, to ease her fears. Christina leaned over and kissed Tom gently on the lips, "I am so glad your awake, you had us worried their for a minute, but Brenda says, you are going to make a full recovery. You will have to be here for a few days." Sighing heavily, and groaning a bit from pain Tom asked about his kids, "Christina, I want my whole family in one room for a while, do you think you can bring me the twins". Partly scolding him and partly knowing she would give in to anything he wanted, she told him that was against hospital policy. With a sly smile, "Since when has that ever stopped you before Christina Hawthorne, please", Tom asked again with his eyes glazed over in growing tears.

"Mom, I'll go get them and meet you in the lobby", Camille said with joy in her voice to see her baby brother and sister again after so many months. "Okay, I will be down their shortly, just wait for me". Christina said as she sat down next to Tom and watched Camille leave the room.

Christina made herself comfortable next to Tom, and held his hand. He tried to move around and get comfortable but moaned with pain. "Tom how can I help you?" Christina asked knowing there wasn't much she could do to heal him sooner. "Christina, I am fine, just having you and my family next to me, is all the medicine, I need to make me feel better". He touched her hand and gave her a faint smile.

Christina's smiled back but her expression changed just as quick, she needed to knew who had done this to her husband, but was afraid of the answer, with a little hesitation in her voice she asked. "Tom, sweetie, I know this is going to be hard but did **SHE** do this to you, did she kidnap you and have you assaulted like this", Christina caressed Tom's face as she spoke to him not wanting to take him back to that horrible place, but she had to know. With shame in his voice and a small grown from pain Tom told Christina, that he thought she had drugged him in the restaurant and when he woke up he was in damp and rat infested room, with two goons standing over him. Every chance they got they would knock him unconscious with a blow to the head. Christina, could feel the pain her husband was going through in her heart, how could a wonderful man like him get into this situation and she knew she was partly to blame, instead of giving him the attention she knew he needed she got herself wrapped up in work and the kids, ignoring him, she always seemed to take him for granted and every time she did, it caused them problems. She never meant to hurt him she was just so cocky about his presence in her life that she forgets sometimes that he needs her both physically and mentally in his life and that he is a man that has needs. Tom Interrupted her thoughts, "Christina, I'm so sorry for all the trouble I have caused, for putting our family in danger, and upsetting you in your condition", Christina chuckled, "Tom we seem to be good at hurting one another and running to others for protection and acceptance, instead of turning to each other, but we will get through this, with every situation we have shown how strong we are together and with this one we will get even stronger", she leaned over and kissed him gently. "Christina, I know you said that you wanted to sell the house and move away, are you still wanting to do that?" Tom asked wanting to make sure before he told her about the job offer.

Christina looked at him and smiled she wasn't sure where he was heading with his question, "yes Tom I still want to, I just think me need a new start somewhere anywhere but here in Richmond. He shifted and smiled big at her. "How would you feel about moving to New York, I got a call from Sloane Kettering the morning all of this happened, and I didn't get a chance to talk with you about it. We would be closer to Camille," she smiled "Tom, I think it's a great idea, but lets talk about this when you're out of the hospital. I want to include Camille in our discussion, I'm sure she would be thrilled to have us closer to her at NYU." Christina looked at her watch and realized she had taken longer than she had expected talking with Tom, and Camille was waiting with the twins downstairs, they were probably driving her crazy by now.

"Sweetie, I'm going to go get the kids, so just rest and we will all be right back." She got to her feet and kissed him, once more before heading for the door. As Christina put her hand on the door handle Tom called her name, "Yes, Tom" she said with a smile, that just light up his heart. "I love you Christina, and there is no other woman, for me, no matter what has happened", she could see the love in his eyes as he said that. "I love you too Tom, more than you will ever know", she opened the door and headed to get her family.

Christina, spent the night at the hospital with Tom, while Camille took care of the twins at the condo. Tom woke up and he seemed to be doing better, his vitals were normal and he had a slight appetite, so Brenda decided to transfer him to a private room. Christina new there was nothing she could do while they were transferring Tom, so she decided to go to her office and see if there was anything on her desk that needed her immediate attention. She didn't want to be gone long, but she also had certain responsibilities she knew she had to handle. "Good Morning Christina", a cheerful Yolanda greeted her.

"Good Morning Yolanda", Christina said with a smile on her face, she was actually feeling some joy today, knowing Tom would be okay and her whole family was together if only for a few days. She went to her desk and sat down leaning completely back in her chair, wanting this whole thing to be a nightmare and she would wake up and Tom would be laying next to her, wanting to make love. The buzzing of her phone brought her back to her office and reality. "Yes, Yolanda", she said as she grabbed her messages and listened to her secretary tell her that there was a Detective La'Shay there to see her. "Please let him in", Christina said. She stood up and walked around her desk as La'Shay walked into her office. "Good Morning Ms. Hawthorne, how are you doing this morning?" La Shay asked with a smile and extending his hand to shake hers.

"How is Dr. Wakefield, I heard his transfer was a little touchy". "Thank God, he is doing much better this morning, and is being transferred to a private room from ICU", Christina said, as she sat down on the couch in her office and motioned for him to take a seat. He sat in the chair across from her. "So, did you find out who did this to my husband, was it Jessica, that's what Tom told me last night?" Christina said as she looked straight at La'Shay. "Jessica has been arrested for Kidnapping, Attempted Murder, Aggravated Assault, Breaking and Entering, Vandalism, and Distraction of Personal Property." he said but Christina could tell he was keeping something from her.

"What are you not telling me detective, is something wrong with the baby, did she hurt it", she said with fear in her voice, as much as she didn't like the fact that another woman was carrying her husband's child, she didn't want the baby hurt.

"Ms. Hawthorne, I have some devastating and disturbing news about the baby….," he paused as he tried to put into words the sick act this woman had committed. "Please detective, I need to know what is going on with my husband's child, he has been threw so much, the loss of the baby would be the end of him", she said with even more fear in her voice.

Detective La'Shay knew he only had one option here and that was to just tell her straight out, "I hate to inform you that Ms. Bourjois, was never pregnant, she was padding herself, if we had not found your husband, I am not sure how far she would have taken her sick sinister plan. She is one disturbed woman", Detective La'Shay said. Christina got up, walked over to the window without saying one word.

She looked out into the parking lot for a few seconds and than turned on her heels, rubbing her belly "that witch put my family through hell and made my husband believe she was pregnant and she was lying! Please tell me that she will go away for a long time for what she did to Tom…no to us", still rubbing her belly, Christina walked back to her seat. "Yes, Ms. Hawthorne she is looking at a long prison sentence but Tom will have to give us his statement, as to what happened, she has admitted to everything and has cut a deal with the DA's office so there will not be a trial, I figured after everything your family has been through that is the best ending", La'Shay hoped the last part of that put her mind at ease a little. He had come to care for Christina and didn't want to see her hurt any longer. Still in disbelief, and her heading racing Christina asked, "How long will she go away for"? "The kidnapping charge alone carries a maximum of 25 years and added with all the other charges it will be a long time Ms. Hawthorne, I promise you this woman will never bother your family again. I still have to tell your husband, would you like to be there when I do"? La Shay asked, hoping she would because he didn't want to be the one to blame if anything happened to the fine doctor, he was sure his wife could calm him down".

Christina and Detective La'Shay entered a sleeping Tom's room. He stirred a little when he heard the door. Christina felt so bad waking him, but she knew he needed to hear what La'Shay had to say, so he didn't have to worry about a baby that never existed, but only in the sick mind of this woman. As Tom woke up, his vision was blurred but he could tell that the beauty in front of him was his wife, but the guy next to her, he wasn't sure about. Christina, brushed Tom's hair back, "sorry to wake you sweetie, but Detective La'Shay has something to talk with you about, it's about and it involved Jessica". Tom remembered who he was, the detective handling the case on the house. Tom wondered what the break in at the house had to do with this. He tried to sit up a bit and moaned in pain, but he didn't let Christina help him. He knew he had to fight through it if he was going to get better. "Hi detective, what is that I need to know, Tom asked his head still reeling with confusion about this whole event, he was remembering thing's in bits and pieces. Detective La'Shay looked over at Christina then back at Tom "Well Dr. Wakefield, their were three of them including Jessica, she was the mastermind of the whole thing and hired the two goons. But what I came to tell you is about the baby", Tom shot up from the bed and yelled in extreme pain, "did she hurt my baby, I will kill that witch". Christina went into nurse mood, to make sure Tom didn't hurt himself, "Tom lay back relax, and let Detective La'Shay finish". "Sorry Detective, please tell me about my baby". This reaction showed Christina what an amazing man Tom was, that although he had suffered so, his main concern was his child, he was a selfless man when it a came to his children, and she loved him so. "Dr. Wakefield, I am sorry, but she was lying to you all this time, she was never pregnant, she was faking". Tom rubbed his head, he knew he had been hit hard several times, but was he actually hearing the words the detective was saying, there was NO! Baby. "What the hell do you mean there is no baby….she". Detective La'Shay interrupted him, before he could get more upset than he already was, "I am sorry, you and your family had to go through all of this, but no Dr. Wakefield, there is no baby, she faked it for the last five months". La'Shay said shaking his head, over all the years in the business he still couldn't understand how people did this to one another or how they even came up with some of this stuff.

Tom lay in bed after Detective La'Shay had left still in disbelief about the news that he had just heard. How could he be so foolish to just take her word for it, how could he not ask her to talk with her doctor, he would for Christina, but she wasn't Christina. Christina was the love of his life. His feelings were all over the place, relief that this nightmare was over, anger that he had gotten himself into this by not talking to his wife again and jumping to conclusions, and disappointment for what he put his family through.

**It eventually had to happen **

Just when I though we were okay

It had been six weeks and after spending two weeks in the hospital and two weeks at home recuperating and planning their move. Tom was finally cleared to go back to work in the last four weeks Tom had given his statement again in writing to Detective La'Shay they had put in their resignations put the house up for sell, Tom had secured his position at Sloan-Kettering, made all the arrangements for the move to New York and managed to lease a house in White Plains they were all scheduled to leave in a month, things were going semi okay, but Christina was still worried about Tom he wasn't sleeping he would toss and turn all night if he wasn't up pacing the floor she tried talking to him but he just wouldn't open up. She knew he was just going through the motions. After the whole thing with Jessica and finding out that she had been lying the whole time about everything he just shut down he was more agitated it seemed at everything and everyone he seemed so lost. She knew he was trying to find his way back, that he was trying to get passed this he just didn't know how and she didn't know how to help him.

He had been back to work for two weeks and giving everyone that came into his path pure de hell. She was getting more then an ear full about his actions and reactions to everything he didn't like or feel was up to his standards. He was snapping at the nursing staff and the doctors that were working under him, he was questioning their work ethics and their competence of doing their jobs.

Christina was sitting at her desk trying to give the pile of files on it her undivided attention she had been trying for the last two hours to finish up the paperwork that was sitting in front of her. But Tom kept running through her mind, she wished that he would talk to her, she thought as she looked up to the sound of someone knocking on the door. "Come in" Christina called out as she laid the pen down then seeing a very agitated more like aggravated Brenda walking into her view.

"Okay Christina something has got to give he needs to talk to someone, something needs to be done and quick."

"What the hell did he do now?" Christina asked with almost a cry in her voice, did she really want to hear the latest stunt he had pulled.

"He fired Mike! How in the hell do you dismiss the anesthesiologist in the middle of surgery!" she told her as she paced the office floor.

Christina sighed as she sat there putting her head in her hands she was at an impasse she just didn't know what to do, she looked back up at Brenda. "I'll handle it and tell Mike he's not fired."

"I did. Christina what the hell is going on with him." she asked finally taking a seat. "Tom doesn't want to listen to anything, no one wants to be around him when he's like this I mean even Steve is avoiding him."

"I know Brenda I'm doing the best I can." Christina said in an apprehensive voice as they both looked over at the door then seeing Tom storming into the room.

"What's this you came in here to talk to her about what Brenda? Mike? I run the DAMn O.R I CAN DISMISS ANYONE I THINK IS Incompetent, I DON'T NEED YOU RUNNING TO HER EVERYTIME YOU DON'T agree WITH MY DECISIONs." he screamed at her.

Brenda looked over at Christina then back at Tom. "You've lost it, talk to someone." she told him as she stood up and walked out of the room.

Tom looked over at Christina "WHAT! YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO ME?" yelled at her.

Christina sighed the baby had been working over time and she just wasn't feeling herself but Tom's frequent outburst and fits wasn't helping the situation. "Tom sweetie you can't fire Mike he's the best anesthesiologist we have."

"I can fire anyone I damn well please I run the OR."

"Baby please just calm down I know you run the OR I know that you can hire and fire whoever you want but Tom you need to be reasonable about this please."

"I am being reasonable." he told her as he took a seat in the chair across from her.

For the next half hour they sat there barely saying a word to each other she knew that he needed to talk to someone about what he was feeling but every time she tried to bring up the subject he would get defensive and just shut down even more. Christina finally calmed Tom enough to apologize to Mike and for the rest of the day everyone just stayed out of his way like they had been doing for the last few weeks. The day had finally come to an end, Christina had decided that tomorrow morning Tom was going to take the day off if was one thing to take his aggression out on her but he had to stop doing it to everyone else, she knew that there was no way he could take what he was doing, the way he was acting to New York or to his new position at Sloan-Kettering he needed to get pass it or learn how to cope with it in a positive way.

It had been yet another sleepless night for the both of them he started with the tossing and turning and when he couldn't fall asleep he move on to the living room to pace the floor or spend the rest of the night watching some old show on TV but as usual he didn't realize that she was up with him worrying about him her blood pressure had been up her last visit with Kat. Kat had warned Christina that if she kept this up pace she was going to hospitalize her; the stress was starting to take a toll on her and the pregnancy. The next morning Kelly arrived right on time to pick up and drop off the twins at daycare for her, Brenda and Christina had made a decision, Brenda would handle his cases and Christina would try again to get him to understand that he needed to talk to her or to Dr. Small. As she closed the front door, she sighed and turned around to Tom standing there.

"Who was that? And why didn't you wake me? Christina you know I'm late for work."

"It was Kelly picking up the kids for me and Brenda is handling your cases today." she replied as she moved pass him toward the couch.

"Why?"

"Because. Tom you needed to deal with this, we can't keep going on like this."

"What is this some kind of damn intervention?"

"If it was an intervention it would be more then just me here."

"I told you I'm fine Christina, what I'm sick of is everyone else thinking that I need to dwell on what happened."

"No one is asking you to dwell on it we… I just want you to come to terms with it so we can move on. Why is it Tom, why are you deliberately holding on to this?"

"I not holding on to anything Christina."

"The HELL if your not!" she yelled at him as she took a deep breath she was at her wits end and wasn't sure how much more she could take she watched as he lowered his head she could see the pain on his face, had she gotten through to him she prayed that she had, she walked over to him hugging him tightly.

It wasn't like Tom to fully break down, but she knew that he needed to, that was the only way he was going to be able to get pass this, Christina knew that he was still having a hard time showing and talking about his emotions she had yet to see him really cry after her attack, losing the baby, her affair and everything else that had went on in the last few years she never once saw him this fragile this broken. He was trying so hard to hold it in but this was the last straw and she knew it, this was devastating to him his humanity of man had been shaken and the lengths that a person would go through to get what they want.

"Tom…" she cried, her hand rubbing smoothly up and down his back. There were a whole lot of things that Christina was prepared for when it came to Tom but this, she wasn't sure was one of them. She wanted to be supportive but was finding it difficult she loved him so much but seeing him like this was killing her.

"Christina…" Tom whispered back into her ear, his forehead now resting on hers. Then a second later she felt his lips kissing the curve of her neck.

"Tom, come on baby talk to me."

"Later Christina we'll talk later right now I need you."

"Tom No! please not like this" she whispered feeling his arms tightening around her waist pulling her into him, her hands softly gripping his head caressing it lightly.

"Please I need you," he whispered back softly.

She was having a hard time resisting him she wanted to help him get through this but she knew this wasn't the way. She pulled away from him but still cradling his head and keeping her arms around his neck. If there was one thing Christina knew about Tom after all this time was his fear of rejection. "Baby you're hurting, you're not being yourself you need to deal with this."

He let go of her and walked away he didn't know how to make her understand that he was fine that he didn't need to talk about it he already knew that he was a fool to let Jessica play him, he finally walked back over to her. He looked at her, his eyes pleading, calling out for compassion; he needed her to see, to understand how much he needed her to give in, how much he needed her to just let him do this. Tom pulled her back into him he started caressing her body again kissing her and hoping she would just let this happen.

But Christina knew this wasn't him she knew he was acting on hurt, fear, disappointment and rage.

"Tom…." she cried out again.

"I said we'll talk, why do you keep pushing this, I'm fine Christina I just…damn it! I need this okay." he said as he paused in anger and stared into her eyes, he took a deep breath. "Please, Christina." his eyes pleading again to relievehim of this agony he was feeling. She caressed his face and stared back at him she knew she'd give into him regardless of what she believed, and when he saw the passion in her eyes, he knew it too. He kissed her hard prying her mouth open their tongues battled in a fit of passion, he walked her backwards towards their bedroom undressing her as they went leaving a trail of clothes from the living room to down the hall, her fingers trailed down his chest, tracing over the hard curves of his muscles. They broke their kiss long enough for his shirt to come over his head before he attacked her mouth again, his tongue dueling with hers for control he laid her on the bed as he pulled the last article of clothing off of her, he rested his body in between her thighs, he lifted himself as his hands trailed her body leaving soft kisses on every spot he touched until he reached her stomach he placed both hands on her belly kissing it gently and admiring the beautiful site before him and being careful of their unborn child, his hands trailed down to her sides, settling on her hips and rolling her over on top of him, she paused and stared at him there was still a part of her brain that worried about him about the vulnerable state of mind he was in, he slowly opened his eye to see why she stopped.

"Christina," he locked eyes with her as he caressed her hips.

"Please don't stop, please give me this."

She leaned in and kissed him softly then shifted her body; she caressed his chest gently as she moved back into place he moaned out.

"Oh God I love you."

As she held onto his waist, her hips shifted again and he started to lose control "god help me…" he cried out of breath as her rhythm got more intense and his body started to follow, he pulled her firmly but gently into him more as the room filled with moans of pleasure her back arched and her body tightened, she leaned backwards and closed her eyes as her release finally came, she then fell forward holding onto him breathless as he rolled her over softly laying her onto her back as their rhythm of passion continued. Tom's release finally came and as their bodies slowed to an almost non pace he held her in place before he fell down on his back next to her, "god you're amazing," he whispered as they both exhaled.

After their body's settled down he pulled her into his arms kissing her softly and brushing her hair back staring into her hazel eyes as the words "Thank you for loving me," fell from his lips.

Christina woke hours later, Tom was still sleeping beside her she slipped out of bed and headed for the shower. She was still worried about him, still upset with his reluctance to talk to her about the whole Jessica situation and finding out that she wasn't really pregnant, but she knew he needed to talk to someone about it and she was hoping that he would be willing to talk to Dr. Small if not her, but she knew that she had to be careful how she approached the subject again.

Christina sat on the bed and watched him, she turned and checked the time, she really needed to go and pick up the kids but she wasn't sure she wanted to wake him, the last thing Tom needed was another day without sufficient sleep he had been tossing and turning since he came home, only getting twenty minutes of sleep here and there. She prayed his dreams were pleasant he looked so peaceful laying there she thought as she turned away from him and sighed, and a second later she felt his hand settle on her waist pulling her toward him, she turned to face him again, he looked awake, happy almost like his old self.

"Hey," she said softly, not wanting to disturb the blissful silence that was covering the room.

"Hey yourself," he replied, allowing his fingers to trail along her back now, she'd gotten dressed after taking a shower, knowing their timing was a little late he moved and caught sight of the clock, "Its almost time to go and get the twins?" She turned back and nodded her head.

"Tom can we talk about this now?" Tom removed his hands from her back and rolled on to his, running his hands over his face as the tension started to fill the room he was so tired of her pressuring him to talk about it, it was the last thing he wanted to do but she just kept pushing and pushing the damn issue. Christina felt him getting agitated and she was just waiting for the inevitable explosion that she knew was building up in him.

"NO! Not now, just tell me why you can't leave it alone? Not even for a minute." he all but yelled at her, but Christina held her ground firmly. "I can take care of myself Christina and I told you that I was fine." Christina turned her gaze away from him. "Yeah right you could have fooled me." The words came out, they had slipped pass her lips almost soft enough to be hidden by his rage. He looked over at her the room suddenly went still which alerted her that he had acknowledged her statement.

"Excuse me what the hell did you just say?" he sat up on the side of the bed. "Christina why do you think you can fix every problem this is not a problem you can fix and I told you that we would talk but you just cant stop pushing it can you?"

"I didn't say that I could fix it, but leaving it alone or ignoring it, isn't going to make things better it's not helping the situation and it's not going to change the fact that mentally you lost another child and if you just talk to me I wouldn't have to keep pushing it."

"You don't run this relationship or this marriage Christina everything is not on your time frame."

"Is that what you think I'm doing? Tom listen to yourself, all I said was you needed to talk to me or someone." Christina took a deep breath, "Tom I love you and I'm not going any where but baby you need some help with this and you know what your right, its help I can't give you." With that she stood up and left the room, leaving Tom sitting on the side of the bed.

To be continue…


	17. What a Tangle Web we Weave

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

Chapter Seventeen

**What a Tangle Web we Weave**

Mysteries Revealed

Tom had thought over what Christina said and he knew that his attitude had to change but he didn't feel he needed to talk with anyone and as far as Christina he would deal with her when he was ready, like she dealt with him.

Tom had been called in for a consultation with a patient in the ER. When he arrived at the room he heard Gail speaking with the patient. She was telling them what the treatment would entail for the cancer they had, Tom couldn't believe she was telling him this and not consulting him first, Tom went storming through the door, "Nurse Strummer I need to speak to you", Tom said slamming the door behind him not even acknowledging the patient he was there to see.

Gail smiled at the patient and excused herself following Tom out of the room, at this point with the same furry as Tom was in, he had been impossible the last several weeks, and she had been patient knowing all that he and Christina had been through but she and all the nursing staff had taken enough, she had to say something to him even if it meant losing her job, not even a doctor had the right to treat them that way. But she decided to start the conversation nicely, "Yes, Dr. Wakefield, how may I help you"? She politely said with a forced smile. "How dare you tell that patient how his treatment would go if I haven't seen him yet", Tom's voice was less than low. Trying to keep her composure, Gail calmingly said, "I was just trying to comfort him, letting him know that my husband also went through the cancer he might have, and trying not to make the chemo seem so bad. And Dr. Sweeney, already told him he thought it was Pancreatic Cancer, he just wanted you to confirm". Tom glared at her with an abhorrence in his eyes. "You were out of order Nurse Strummer, and I don't want you talking with my patient again". Having had enough of this behavior Gail, stood there and stared Tom in the eyes, "Dr. Wakefield, I am not a punching bag, for your personal life, and neither are the nurses and other staff members at this hospital, we are sorry for what you and your family have gone through, but we do not deserve to be treated like second rate interns, actually I treat the interns better than you have been treating Veteran Doctors and Nurses", As Tom was getting ready to interject Christina came around the corner, and hear familiar voices that were a lot less than pleasant at the moment, and did she heard her husbands name in the sentence, "Oh, dear God, please not again, and not with Gail". Gail was one of the most amazing nurses on staff, and was her right hand when she was CNO, so she knew that crossing her was not a good idea, she knew her job and knew it well, and she wasn't going to take any of Tom's nonsense. When she rounded the corner as she feared she saw Gail and the back of Tom's head, "Shit he is at it again, what am I going to do", Christina mumbled to herself. She could see the anger raging in Gail's eyes and that wasn't good, when Gail saw Christina, she shot her a look that said, take care of him, or I will go above your head and he will lose his job. Christina approached them, and gently placed her arm on Tom's shoulder. "Hey what's going on they can hear you outside", Christina said with calmness and love so not to upset Tom anymore. She knew yelling at him, would just make the situation worse. "Tom can I talk with you a second", Christina said as Tom turned to look at her. "I'm in the middle of something, can't you see that Christina". Christina smiled doing her best to keep her composer she took a deep breath looked at Gail then up at Tom. "I realize you're in the middle of something and I don't want you to get into something else, like getting fired", Christina said with more firmness in her voice. Tom turned toward Christina and shot her a look to suggest don't you dare threaten me.

Christina, slowly grabbed Tom by the arm and lead him to an empty room, mouthing "I am sorry" to Gail as she looked behind her. When they reached the room, Tom looked at Christina with eyes that she had not seen since the day she told him about the affair with Nick. His rage was overwhelming. In a tone that said, she meant business but that she loved him more than life its self Christina said, "Tom, I know your going through a lot right know, and I have asked you to talk to somebody, but that outburst with Gail, is not something I can ignore. Either you get help or I am going to have to suspend you, and I want you to take the rest of the day off, I will tell Brenda, to take over your cases. Tom, please know I am doing this so you don't lose your job permanently and I really don't want the board to find out about this". Tom gave her a look that said he was done with the situation and stormed out of the room. "Tom", Christina ran after him, but when he slammed the door she knew it was best for her to let him go. She would deal with him, when she got home.

Tom knocked on Dr. Small's door. She opened it, "Dr. Wakefield what a pleasant surprise, how can I help you". She could tell by the look on his face that he was desperate and needed some help. Christina had spoken to her on several occasions about how Tom was acting, so she knew something was going on. "Dr. Small, I know this is short notice, but do you have a few minutes to talk".

"I have the next hour, please come in.

As Tom sat down on the leather couch he was flashing back to the day him and Christina were there talking about Nick, how did he end up here again. He took a seat on the long leather couch and Dr Small sat in front of him. Hanging his head down and almost whispering, because he was embarrassed that he had to come to someone to talk. "I am sure Christina has talked to you about my behavior lately." Dr. Small crossed her legs as she flipped the pen in her hand back and forth on the notepad. "You know I can't discuss what Christina and I have talked about, but yes your behavior is something that has come to my knowledge, by talk around the hospital. Tom, obviously something is bothering you, so please tell me what is going on and let's see if we can work through this".

Tom sat back on the couch and rubbed his eyes, closing them as he thought back at all that had happened in the last several years. It was flashing back like it was just yesterday. As Tom started thing about the events of the last several years, he got up and began to pace the room. 'How could Christina sleep with Nick, what had he done to her to deserve that, standing by her side through all the ordeals in her life, didn't he deserve more than for her to take his love and through it aside, for a one night stand with a man she had only known a few months.

Running to Nick instead of grieving with him, he never did felt they had grieved for their baby at all, no tears were shed with each other for the lose of that precious baby that had conceived in love, or at least they had conceived in love, did she only marry him because she was pregnant, maybe she didn't even love him at all, maybe she just felt trapped. Maybe that is why she signed the divorce papers even though she said otherwise. Tom took a deep breath he knew he was being silly Christina loved him, if not she wouldn't haven stayed with him for so long and even accepted his infidelities, I guess I cant really blame Christina, because I also ran to someone else instead of talking to her. Jessica, there was another woman, he thought she cared about him also and than she fakes being pregnant. He felt he had lost two children in just a couple of years. What was it about him that women felt they could play with his emotions and he would just be alright, that his feelings wouldn't be hurt and it wouldn't affect him emotionally'. All of a sudden Tom realized that he wasn't just pacing the room he was verbalizing to Dr. Small what he was feeling, and he just couldn't stop talking about how the women in his life had hurt him, especially the one that he had loved since almost the day he laid eyes on her. 'Even when Tom was treating Michael with his cancer, he would do anything for Christina, to comfort her to be there for her. He felt so alive when they had finally been together and felt they were going to be able to start a relationship together. When she refused his wedding proposal he was heart broken, but when they had finally gotten themselves back on track, he was so happy that he not only was marrying the woman he loved, his best friend but they were having a baby together.

I was so stupid to let her leave that night without walking her to the car, it would have never happened if I was there'. Dr. Small, turned in the direction of Tom, and softly said, "It could have been both of you that were attacked and what if you weren't found, and she would have died. You got to her as soon as you could I am sure of that Tom". With anger in his "Why did I bring that man into our lives, why did I call him after Christina's attack, I knew when I first laid eyes on Nick, in Christina's office that he had fallen in love with her, almost at first sight just as I had". As he walked to the window and rubbed his face again , he guessed Christina and him were both to blame for the events that lead up to her affair with Nick.

Again ranting without realizing it he spoke about Jessica, 'how could a woman be so deceitful, so conniving, and so uncaring of others feelings as to make up such a story that she was pregnant and to take him from his family, and make Christina go through all of it while pregnant, but he guessed he only had himself to blame for that one, he had decided not to talk to Christina, about feeling neglected and needing to be with his wife. The young new doctor gave him attention he was craving and he just took it not thinking of Christina's feelings, maybe he was even doing it to spite her for Nick, yes maybe unconsciously that was what he was doing, but that sure didn't make it right, to wrongs for sure don't make a right. Their communication had become more open in the last few months and he knew they couldn't go back to the way it was, so it was time for him to let the past go and talk with his wife.

Before he could talk with Christina he knew who he had to see to put the past behind him'. Tom was still talking out loud without even realizing it. His life seems to be in a daze these days.

Tom looked at Dr Small, "I'm sorry, I have to go, please send me a bill, there is somewhere I have to go, thank you again for your time, you have been more helpful than you will ever know". Dr. Small was a little shocked by his sudden change. "But I haven't done anything", Dr. Small said, as she turned to watch Tom race out the door. She sure hoped he wasn't going to do anything stupid.

Dr. Small paged Christina, not to tell her what Tom had said, but to let her know of their conversation and that he didn't seem to be in a good place when he left, but that he had mentioned needing to see someone. As soon as Dr. Small said that Christina knew exactly were to find him.

Christina found Tom that night at the Mausoleum were they had placed the remains of their unborn daughter Angel "Pie" Wakefield.

He was on his knees with his head down, Christina stood at the entrance this was the first time she saw Tom completely break down over the loss of their child, she took a deep breath and she walked toward him, and placed her hand on his shoulder, he looked up at her, she came down to her knees and hugged him. She whispered in his ear, "I miss her too. I am sorry I didn't grieve with you the way I should have, that was selfish of me." Tom looked at Christina with tears in his eyes, "that hurt the most, I didn't feel I had anyone to grieve with, and I didn't know how to fight for you. I felt like a failure of a man, that I had lost my child and my wife". Christina sighed softly. "The blame was mine, I should have come to you instead of running to someone else. But Tom we have come so far, I thought we had put this behind us", she said wondering what this was all about. "Christina I'm sorry I know you don't understand why I'm here, why I'm doing this I just needed to let her know that we love her so much, losing the baby that…god that woman," Tom paused for a few minutes as the tears rolled down his face, Christina rubbed his back softly never saying a word she knew that he needed to let it out everything that he was feeling it was the only way they were going to be able to move on. "Its just we went through so much Christina, so much pain and it hurt so much when you found comfort in the arms of another man I should have been the one to comfort you, the one that you grieved with I needed that Christina." Christina couldn't find the words to apologize to him again, she just hugged him tight as they sat on the floor in front of the crypt of their Angel sobbing in each other arms, grieving together the lose of their child. "I love you Christina, but I just had to come here, and be with her, and I am glad I was able to tell you how I felt, now we can move on to our new life in New York". Christina gave him a slight smile, "I love you Tom Wakefield, you are the love of my life and NO ONE will ever replace you, thank you for seeing me through the good and bad, you are my rock", she brought him to his feet, and gave him a tender kiss. They both looked at their daughters crypt their hands on it at the same time they said, "we love you Angel Pie", they knew they would always love and miss her, she could never be replaced. Christina and Tom left the cemetery and back to the condo. They got home and laid the twins next to them in bed. Tom looked over at his sleeping family, and felt grateful for everything they had after all they had been through. He couldn't wait to leave Richmond and start over in White Plains, New York.


	18. Right Back Where we Started From

**Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.**

**Deceit, Regret, Confession.**

Chapter Eighteen

**Right Back Where we Started From**

I Devote My Heart To You Coming Full Circle

The drinks flowed freely and the catering was top-notch when Garland Bryce decided to threw a party. The whole Hospital celebrated around the beautiful water fountain for the parting of two of their best. Garland gave a short speech and personally thanked Tom and Christina for all they had done at James Rivers.

"I'm very pleased to have known you both and I pray that this move will bring you both success and happiness. I also want you to know if ever you decide to return home you will always have a place here at James Rivers." He told them as their fellow co-workers and friends cheered. The rest of the night was filled with congratulations, and hugs although their faces were long and some with tears filling their eyes wished the couple well on their new journey in life. Christina and Tom hated leaving but they needed a new start and after all that had happened in the last four years this was the only way. Christina and Tom mingled with their dear friends, they were excited about the move and the new path in life they were about to experience, but they were also a bit sad that their time at James Rivers was over and they were leaving dear friends and loved ones behind.

It had been two weeks after their farewell celebration, Christina only had a few days left she had cleared out her office for the new COO and was showing her around and introducing her to some of the staff that she would be working with before Garland formally introduced her at his next shindig.

"Hey! Bobbie you have a minute? I would like you to meet someone." Christina asked as she and Mrs. Abigail Daniels approached the nurse's station.

"Yeah I do." Bobbie replied as she turned around to see the two of them standing there.

"I would like you to meet the new COO Mrs. Abigail Daniels, Mrs. Daniels this is Nurse Bobbie Jackson she's the CNO here at James Rivers."

"It's nice to meet you, is it Mrs. or Ms?" Abigail politely asked not wanting to jump to a conclusion that she was married if she wasn't.

"It's Ms. for now, soon to be Mrs." Bobbie explained as the three of them started laughing.

Christina smiled brightly. "Yes! Very soon, Bobbie here is engaged to one of our handsome and highly regarded ER doctors, and speaking of him." Christina nodded her head in Steve's direction as he headed their way. "hey Steve."

"Christina!" a sweet smile acrossed his face. "How are you two feeling." he asked, reaching out rubbing her belly.

"Were doing well." Christina replied with a smile as she turned and introduced him to the new COO and reminded them about dinner on Friday, Tom and Christina had decided to invited the whole gang and long time friends out to dinner their last night in town. As they left the ER they headed back up to Abigail's new office when they ran into Tom. "hey sweetie, I would like you to meet Mrs. Abigail Daniels? She's the new COO, Mrs. Daniels this is my loving husband Dr. Tom Wakefield." Christina told her as Tom walked over wrapping his arm around her waist and kissing her softly on the cheek.

"Nice to meet you Dr. Wakefield."

"Nice meeting you as well Mrs. Daniels, but ladies I'm needed in the OR." He told them as he kissed Christina one more time on the cheek and headed down the hall. Christina and Abigail proceeded to the new COO's office to go over a few more things, Christina wanted to update her on the new budgets for all the departments, details and specifications for the new nursing home wing that they were adding on to the back end of the hospital, they spent the rest of the day going over all the paperwork that was already taken care of. For the next few days Christina made sure that Abigail didn't have anything to do but meet her staff and get ready for her first board meeting and her official Garland Bryce introduction on Fridays Nights gathering. As the day came to an end Christina walked the halls of the hospital she loved just looking around at the people she had grown to know, love and care about, her eyes filled with tears she knew goodbye's were hard but she also knew that sometimes in life we outgrow what we know and have to move on, she decided to bypass the ER and just head straight for the daycare to pick up the twins and head home, she still had a few things she need to pack, the movers would be there on Thursday morning to pick up the contents of the house and the cleaners would be there on Friday morning, Tom and Christina had decided to spend their last few nights in town at a hotel.

It was the following morning and Christina was up early, "Good morning sweetie."

"what are you doing up so early?" Tom asked "you know you could have slept in?"

"Okay! Tom how long have you known me, babe you know I don't know how to sleep in." she smiled and handed him a plate.

"yeah that's true, hey Christina?" Tom looked over at her from the table "can you come here and sit down for a second I want to talk to you about something."

"yeah sure babe, what is it?" she asked as she walked out of the kitchen and took a seat at the table with him she wasn't getting a good feeling about this. "What's wrong Tom?"

"Nothings wrong sweetheart I just want to talk to you about something." he told her as he took her hand into his.

"Tom what is it your scaring me?"

Tom lowered his head for a brief second then looked back up at her, "I want to go see her."

Christina just stared at him at first; she took her hand from his and stood up walking behind the chair and placing her hands on it. "you're kidding me right? You can't be serious Tom."

"Christina I need to know why she did it."

"This cant be happening you have come to far your sessions with Dr. Small seem to be working getting you pass all of this."

"Christina please try and understand this is something I need to do, so I can know we can leave all of this behind us."

"Tom I don't like this, I don't want you doing it."

"I'm sorry, Christina I love you but I have to do this for our family."

"Tom please don't do this promise me that you wont do this."

"I can't make you that promise Christina I'm sorry." he told her as he stood up from the table grabbing his coat and headed for the door.

Christina took a seat back in the chair she didn't know what to do he had come so far in such a short time she didn't know what kind of impact seeing her would have on all the progress he had made but she knew Tom was going to do what he needed or what he thought would help him and his family move on.

Thursday morning was a very busy one for the both of them, against Christina's wishes Tom had talked to the DA and Jessica's lawyer about talking to her he wanted closer on this chapter of his life he wanted to move on with his family but he needed to know why she did what she did, as he walked into the prison conferences room he took a seat at the table and waited with her lawyer and the ADA, a few minutes later they brought her in she took a seat at the table across from Tom as a blanket of silence fell over the room.

***_**On the other side of town.**_

Christina had gotten up and taken the kids to daycare. The movers were to arrive at nine o'clock, she made it back to the condo just in time as she parked the car, she saw the movers pull up. She quickly made her way inside, Christina took a deep breath and sighed, she wanted to pack a few things before they got there, but a few seconds later there was a knock on the door. Christina opened the door greeted them with a friendly smile, she them in and watched as they packed everything that they owned, including her car.

***_**At the prison.**_

"I changed my mind I don't want to do this." Jessica said after a few seconds of Tom just sitting there staring at her funny.

"You agreed to this." the ADA told her.

"Fine what is it you want to know Tom?" Jessica asked as she sat there with her hands in her lap.

"I just want to know why? Why would you pretend to be pregnant? Why would you kidnap me what did you think you were going to gain from it?" Tom asked hoping she would give him a straight answer to some of his questions.

"I don't know, I just can't explain to you why I did all the things I did other then I was in love with you."

"Jessica did we actually sleep together that night?"

Jessica just looked at him she knew she couldn't give him an honest reason why she did the things she did other then she was in love with him and she didn't think she could live with out him but she could give him the truth about that night. "No Tom we didn't, we never slept together, that night you were super drunk and you passed out I undressed you but nothing happened I just wanted you to think we did something, all you did that night was talk about how much you loved Christina and it pissed me off so that's why I did what I did." she said sincerely. "Tom look I'm sorry I really am I didn't mean to hurt you I just wanted you so bad that I wasn't thinking clearly I didn't think my actions would have consequences." she told him as she lowered her head. "can I be taken back to my cell now?" she asked not wanting to see the disbelieving look on Tom's face any more.

"Dr. Wakefield do you have any more questions for her?" the DA asked in a soft tone.

"No she can go." Tom replied as he stood up and walked over to the other side of the room and watched them take her away he felt relived that he hadn't slept with Jessica but he was still a little disappointed that she couldn't really tell him why she did it other then she was in love with him, he understood the cliché love will make you do crazy things but damn he didn't really think people would go to this extreme.

As he left the prison Tom needed some fresh air he needed time to process what was said he just got in the car and started driving he didn't remember pulling up or parking the car. Tom sat down on one of the near by benches breathing in the salty ocean air and listening to the faint sounds of the horns of the long passed ships, as he sat there he searched desperately in the direction that the sound was coming from.

The pier was totally abandoned this time of year, he sat there as the cold breeze brushed against his face his time here in Richmond was over and he knew now that he and Christina could leave with a piece of mind.

_**Back at the Condo.*****_

It was two o'clock the entire apartment was cleared out Christina stood in the middle of the now empty condo just looking around as tears fell from her eyes they were closing the door on one chapter of their lives to open another, as she stood there she turned toward the door.

"Hey sweetie, where have you been? I tried calling you at the hospital." Christina asked as she wiped the falling tears from her eyes.

"I went to the prison Christina, and then I went for a walk did they pick up your car?"

Christina just looked at him for a second and seeing the peaceful look in his eyes she knew Jessica had to have told him something that put his soul to rest. "Yes they did but better question did you get the answers you were looking for?" she asked in a soft tone as she walked toward him wrapping her arms around his neck caressing the back of his head softly as she stared into his beautiful green eyes.

Tom nodded his head as he kissed her softly on the lips, he pulled away slowly. "I love you Christina, more then you will ever know."

"I love you too Tom." she said as she felt him move back just a bit with a smile bright as the sun on his face.

"Whoa! Was that my little guy in there?" Tom took his hand and placed it where he felt the kick come from.

"Yeah! he was just letting us know were all going to be okay." Christina told him as she caressed his face softly kissing him one more time before looking around at the condo.

"are you ready Christina?"

She took a deep breath. "As ready as I'm going to be." she told him as they both walked toward the door, Tom grabbed the suitcases and they both headed out. They made it over to the hospital and picked up the twins before heading over and checking into the hotel.

Friday morning and throughout that afternoon and into the early evening they all spent taking care of loose ends Tom, and Christina's goal was to wear out the twins they both knew that the drive to New York was going to be a long one and they hoped that they would sleep most of the way considering that they had never been on a long car trip before. It was a little after five Christina told everyone to meet them in the hotel lobby at five thirty Tom had reserved a private dining room for the last dinner together for a while.

"sweetie are you and Christopher ready to go? Mia come here sweet pea I need to fix that for you."

"Yeah baby do we look okay to you?"

"Aw! look at my two handsome men, you both look so gorgeous," she told them with a smile as she kissed them both.

"and you both look as beautiful as always." He told her as he took the twins by the hands and they headed for the door.

Dinner was a loud and energetic affair. Tom and Steve talked shop and how he was going to be missed at the annual baseball game as Kelly played and attended to the twins along with Cara. While Brenda, Christina, Gail and Bobbie engaged in a conversation about the baby and if they had decided on a name yet Christina explained that they hadn't, every name she picked Tom had a problem with. "And they say women have a hard time making up their minds." They all started laughing as she looked over at Tom. And for the next two hours they all enjoyed each other and each others company before parting their separated ways and wishing Tom, Christina and the twin a safe trip.

Five a.m. Tom, Christina and the twins were up and ready to hit the road it was a seven hour drive from Richmond to the house in White Plains depending on traffic, as Tom drove down the highway he noticed that not only the twins were sleeping but Christina was as well, he looked over at her lovingly placing his hand softly on her face rubbing across it gently he knew that she must have been exhausted, the last couple of months have been pure hell on her and all he wanted was to give her a break, to give her some time off and he hoped that he would be able to do that, he loved her more then he could ever express more then he could ever tell her he just prayed that she knew it.

_**Three months later**_

It had been three months and Christina and Tom had settled in nicely and were loving their new surroundings Christina was liking more, like loving being a stay at home mom the twins were keeping her busy, Tom was enjoying his new position at Sloan-Kettering he was trilled with cool new toys as he called them but he was really happy that he no longer had to deal with the red tape and all that went along with it anymore it was nice to only have to deal with the patients that was all he ever wanted, Camille was doing outstanding in school they couldn't have been more proud of her, she and Marcus where back together and were doing well, they were planning for their future together. Tom and Christina had finally got everything in their life back on track and were looking forward to the birth of the newest member to their family.

Twenty-three hours of labor... but it was finally over. Christina collapsed against the pillows, drenched in sweat covering her exhausted body. She finally done it. "Congratulations it's a boy!" the doctor cried out, lifting the squalling infant up, so that his mother could see him for the very first time.

"Tom you want to cut the cord now." The doctor asked in an elated voice as Camille stood there smiling from ear to ear wondering why he was so wrinkled and pink.

"Wait dad I want to get a picture of you cutting the cord." Said Camille grabbing the camera from her bag.

Christina looked over at Camille in a funny way "Just make sure that's all you get is him cutting it.

"Don't worried mom I'll think about not putting it on you tube." Camille said with laughter in her voice as she looked up at Tom and the doctor chimed in.

Christina rolled her eyes at Camille and turned her head and looked at Tom. "That shits not funny Tom!"

"I'm sorry sweetheart your right it wasn't funny." He said as he tried to muffle his laugh and continue what he was doing. Christina just laid there shaking her head and looking at the three of them.

"Here you go mommy the doctor said as he handed Christina her son Camille had took the picture and was in the process of taking a few more, as she held her beautiful son in her arms she looked over at Tom and softly slide her hand across his face. "I love you." she mouthed to him as he mouthed it back.

"I can't believe we did this again Tom and he has green eyes just like his daddy." Christina said in a smile as Tom smiled and looked down at them lovingly. "Welcome to the world Taylor Candan Wakefield you are loved." Christina said.

Tom kissed her on the forehead softly; he took his son's hand into his own. "That you are Taylor."

After spending a few hours in recovery Christina was finally moved into a regular room where the whole family including Marcus gathered.

"Hey Marcus I want of picture all of us." Camille said as she handed the camera to him and grabbed one of the twins as Tom grabbed the other and huddled around Christina and Taylor.

"Okay everyone say Hawthorne - Wakefield family." Marcus said as he took the photo of the beautiful family that was sitting before him. Christina and Tom had finally come full circle.

The End.


End file.
